ME?bl4ckh4wk64 said:
Annoying facestabbing psykopath with daddy issues goes vigilante after beeing 2pac´ed.
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Annoying facestabbing psykopath with daddy issues goes vigilante after beeing 2pac´ed.
You are a repair tech stuck on a ship where somehow, despite the entire crew having access to the same easily weaponized mining tools, magical instantly working health kits, and armored space suits (with ridiculously tiny O2 tanks) as you, everyone has been killed by necro-moddo-thinger-doodles that bodymod corpses. You blew out your vocal chords and cannot talk past grunts of pain or overly lould breathing. Your girlfriend keeps screaming at you to "make us whole again", tentacle babies are trying to pry your head off, and you find yourself unable to jump, climb, punch, or even crouch. Oh, and on top of anything else, the ship is trying to kill you; what with the malfunctioning grav panels that splatter you against the ceiling, the broken doors that turn you into engineer puree, and the security lockdowns that take about the same amount of time it takes you to dismember a bunch of the aformentioned necro-thingies.
You play as a character who is stricken by the common video game disease "Shut-The-Fuck-Up-Idis". Because of his deadly disease he obliges psycho people when they tell him to take pictures of dead bodies instead of freezing and tension wrenching them to death like he does to everyone else in the game. The catch being the shifty guy giving you orders turns out to be a shifty guy giving you orders. Then at it's climax your ill fated, dumb ass, door mat, mute character finally says "Oh fuck it, lets just kill everyone". With the fate of this already fucked to shit city in your hands you as the player find yourself morally obliged to save the city of now possessed little girls and insane drug addicts. Now the psychos, the smart people, the small little girls, and the giant mechanical tanks all are in the way of you and a guy you feel strangely obliged to kill, and therefore more fodder for your overpowered explosive shotgun. Oh yeah and everyone else is stricken with "Cannot-Shut-The-Fuck-Up-Idis" and contacts your totally open radio like they just don't care who they piss off. I'll give you a hint it rhymes with Riochock.
your an obnoxious prick running around the highly unnecessarily complex security system in, of all things, an ancient arabic palace. you have incredibly drawn out fights with sand, and are forced to tag along with a stick woman who can crawl through cracks in the walls. said stick woman is also an incompetent archer who feels the need to try and aid you in your fights with sand, which quite often result in her shooting you. she also has an innate fear of looking at people near ledges, because she feels the need to dramatically GASP every freakin time you get near one, despite her having seen you run across walls and roll through spinning blades countless times before without ever expressing concern. also you save the game by being pummeled by a sandstorm until you pass out and hallucinate that you are seeing the future.
Half Life 2:
You're a geek with a crowbar. Who has no idea what the fuck he's doing half the time. You walk around an often abandoned environment using guns, you're so strong you can kill giant monsters with ease, even on hard mode, it's ludicrous.
You're a geek with a crowbar. Who has no idea what the fuck he's doing half the time. You walk around an often abandoned environment using guns, you're so strong you can kill giant monsters with ease, even on hard mode, it's ludicrous.
Ah my old nemisis: THE CAMERA!!!kman123 said:
My game: you jump down into hell to save some girl you fancy, and battles a giant monster which spawns baby-monsters from her tits, and it only goes deeper into my own personal HELL!!!
You play as this really, REALLY shy MIT graduate who figures out that science is boring and hence compensates for wasting his life in MIT by shooting soldiers, zombies and skinned turkey's that wanna hump your head.
You're an egotistical dick who flies around space collecting people to help you kill some bugs who are controlled by some ancient evil (How generic.) You die at the beginning and possibly die at the end. Along the way you can scan planets for minerals, pretty boring imo.
You play as a labotomized courier, who looks like Edward Norton (no matter how you design him...) who has to trek through the land of many bugs and glitches, stopping every now and again to deep-throat an irradiated mutant appendage for survival. All the while fighting off a superior race of giant geckos, and fellow ass-holes, with guns that shoot bits of pencil lead.
Come to think of it... why do I like this game?
Come to think of it... why do I like this game?
You play as a dense, spikey haired boy who beats *~DARKNESS~* to death with a giant key while teaming up with characters such as Goofy and the little mermaid. Eventually, the power of ****~~~LIGHT~~~**** and ****~~~FRIENDSHIP~~~**** prevail as you shove a shirtless guy with a bad tan into a door and lock said door.
You're a emotionless prick who couldn't feel anything if it bit you in the ass, along with your annoying sidekick who's looking for his wife that he is going to shoot. Your task is to save what's left of the human race from total extinction while killing monsters that look like Star Wars rejects. Oh, and along the way you face an enemy that sinks cities, shouting "IT'S A GIANT WORM!"
That kind of hurt talking about my favorite game like that :-(
That kind of hurt talking about my favorite game like that :-(
NEVER!!!!!!!!!!
Instead I shall mock one of my other favorites.
Aliens are invading, you shoot em in space. Aliens bring in bigger ships so you shoot them too! Then the Aliens blow up a star and you're pretty much fucked. Oh, and some guy monologues a lot, the end!
Instead I shall mock one of my other favorites.
Aliens are invading, you shoot em in space. Aliens bring in bigger ships so you shoot them too! Then the Aliens blow up a star and you're pretty much fucked. Oh, and some guy monologues a lot, the end!