I think I know why gamers react so vocally to sexism (theory)

[bastardofmelbourne]

The OP is basically my opinion on the topic.

No-one really wants to be called sexist or racist or whatever. When a gamer sees a game they like being criticised for sexist or racist content, there's a kneejerk reaction along the lines of "if they say the game is sexist, and I like the game, they're calling me sexist."

The problem is that this kneejerk reaction puts the gamer on the defensive, immediately adopting a "Nuh-uh!" position in reaction to the initial criticism. They start viewing attacks on games as attacks on their identity, and then start defending said games regardless of whether or not the game is genuinely sexist. They're not assessing the criticism on its own merits; they just dismiss it immediately because their logic runs "They're saying the game is sexist, therefore they're saying I am sexist, but I know that I am not sexist, therefore the game is not sexist."

I mean, some criticism of "sexist" content in games is bad and totally unfounded. There was this recent thread on the forums about an article that said the Cyberpunk 2077 trailer was misogynistic. That's bullshit, and it should be called out on it. I think the Tomb Raider hoo-rah and the Dickwolves saga fall in the same category, but your mileage may vary. But then you get some genuinely off-putting stuff, like actual sexual harassment at conventions, or random people attacking female media figures on Twitter on the basis that they have vaginas. That's actual sexism.

The real problem is that because one camp tends to make blanket condemnations and the other camp tends to make kneejerk, defensive reactions, no-one is really standing back and saying "Is this thing actually sexist?" Because it could be, but that doesn't mean it is. Instead of finding out, everyone just hurls bile at each other in defiance of the facts. That's why it's so hard to talk about the topic.

 

[Arcane Azmadi]

My theory is that the reason gamers react so violently when accused of sexism is because they're pissed that they've been caught out and offended that their sexism should even be questioned. I mean, when your response to a woman doing an article on sexism in gaming is to threaten to rape and murder her then I think you have issues.

Basically, gamers hate being called sexist because they ARE sexist and are also massive hypocrites.

 

[Eclectic Dreck]

I'd say the "problem" is that there isn't really a problem. At least not one that can be resolved entirely.

The various ism's all fall under the sphere of judging something based on a broad characteristic. At a fundamental level, this is precisely what the human brain appears to do when dealing with any relatively unknown object - it groups it with other objects that are similar and, until demonstrated otherwise, there is an implicit relationship of the qualities of these groups.

This behavior is incredibly well suited for a creature that a hundred generations or so ago, is believed to have lived largely in small family units. Thanks to a number of factors, people tend to build a preference for things that are familiar and as such we are hard wired to positive reaction to things similar to us. In what essentially amounts to built in predisposition for tribalism, we see lots of irrational responses based upon the tendency to group via similarity and a preference for the familiar. Rivalries between sports teams for example is, at it's core, little more than the grouping and preferences being played out in a rather wide scale.

The two most common examples that get cited of course are racism and sexism. In both cases, this is because there do exist obvious features that make people different. Comparing me to say a native of Sub-Saharan Africa, I would find that, in general, we have differences in facial structure, height, skin color, and probable body mass - sufficient cause to group such people into the category of "not much like me". Without significant exposure to things about this group, my pool of available information with which to associate to any individual in it is limited at best and thus I will be more prone to erroneous linking of ideas. If you pair that with a wider notion of cultural superiority - all handy tenants of nationalism and religion among others, you quickly have the basis for racism. But, the heart of the idea, that one should not be judged based upon extraneous external factors, is simply out of reach. Attempting to overide what amounts to an autonomic action will, at best, limit the external perception of racism - that is, you can largely eliminate any action; the underlying cause is out of reach.

The same is true for sexism save for the fact that there exist truly significant differences between genders. Beyond the obvious roles in creation and care for life, or the tendency as a group for differences in various physical abilities, there are less obvious but crucial differences. Men and women have wildly different ways they navigate, conceptualize abstract spaces, socialize and resolve various problems. Where racism requires a wider social dynamic to reliably translate into negative action, sexism does not as interactions between genders is driven in large part by fundamental biology.

The bottom line is simply that everyone is racist and sexist and all the rest - it's built in. The best any of us can do is make every effort to let our actions be dictated by what we know about the person, not what we know about people that are similar to that person.

-edit-
There is one last point I ought to make. In many cases, people point to, say, sexism in video games, they tend to miss the point. In most cases, a video game character is an archetype pulled from a short list of characters you find in the Standard Hero's Journey story. When a female plays the role of mystic female, people tend to cry sexist and yet when she plays the heroic lead people applaud. While the former is built upon the notion that a woman is different from a man and therefore has a different part to play in the story, a point that very generally is true, the latter simply makes the heroine symbolically male. In effect, while the former recognizes a critical role that only a female can play, the latter says little more than a Woman cannot do this thing unless she acts as an avatar for masculinity - an act so precarious that the standard heroine's journey requires a final return to femininity.

 

[Erttheking]

My theory is that the reason gamers react so violently when accused of sexism is because they're pissed that they've been caught out and offended that their sexism should even be questioned. I mean, when your response to a woman doing an article on sexism in gaming is to threaten to rape and murder her then I think you have issues.

Basically, gamers hate being called sexist because they ARE sexist and are also massive hypocrites.

Some of them are, but just because some are doesn't mean "gamers are sexist" period. I mean you're a gamer and you're not sexist right?

 

[Twilight_guy]

You mean people react negatively to something because they have negative feelings towards it? Bravo, Well done, Holmes!

I think everyone, not just gamers, reacts negatively to things like sexism because in their culture prejudice is bad and prejudice people are bad people. Nobody wants to be a bad person so they want to be able to say they are not prejudice. When you point out inherent prejudice in their favorite media they get defensive because they don't want to be associated with prejudice. It's a losing game though as prejudice is a moving target. Any system has inherent prejudices and new type and variation of prejudices are being put forth on a regular basis. What was fine yesterday is a crime against humanity tomorrow.

In short, it's not as if anybody, gamer or not, likes to be called sexist by association.

 

[BreakfastMan]

Well, that theory brings up additional questions: why do people think that liking something that has sexism in it makes them sexist? Or, to put it another way, why do they think that others criticizing what they like as sexist means they are calling them sexist? Why do many apparently think that criticisms of media automatically accuse to those who like said media? Am I automatically racist because I am a huge H.P. Lovecraft nerd?

 

[SeanSeanston]

*Though there is an hilairous trend amongst cosmetics firms now to promote products as 'Age Affirming'. Like the adverts are going "Women! You know how youve been forced to look young by all those adverts? The ones which made you feel like shit for having wrinkles? The ones that said that being young is the most important thing? Well WE dont think that! WE think being old is a good thing!" Its genuinely sickening that companies who have lived on selling a dream of eternal youth for so long that its embedded in womens pschyies are now presenting themselves as some kind of salvation form this horrible pressure to be young WHICH THEY PROPAGATED IN THE FIRST PLACE.

Or ever notice how a short while ago women HAD TO BE SKINNY or they were UGLY, HORRIBLE PEOPLE.

Now it's more like skinny women are ugly, horrible people (even if they're just naturally skinny or really tall or not starving themselves or just generally have a legitimate reason to be thin) and we should look down on them because they should be fatter than that, but not too fat either. All in the name of diversity and loving yourself as you are .

I mean, when your response to a woman doing an article on sexism in gaming is to threaten to rape and murder her then I think you have issues.

Basically, gamers hate being called sexist because they ARE sexist and are also massive hypocrites.

Oh there are always going to be crazy people, I don't think they're anything to base generalizations off of.

I mean, it's like telling people not to be paranoid because nobody is out to get them... OF COURSE SOME PEOPLE are out to get them. Someone is out to get you no matter who you are, but it's not really worth worrying about most of the time for most people because they're only a very insignificant few people and pretty much if an opinion is possible... someone has it. No need to worry about every little person or drawing conclusions based on psychos.

I'll say 1 one more thing: It bothers me that things are so readily deemed sexist at the drop of a hat, but the fact that such claims are made based on paper-thin suggestions from biased interpretations somehow ISN'T sexist even though it pretty much brands all men (or male gamers in this case) as inherently prone to sexism as though they can't wait for the first opportunity to strip women of the vote or rape them all if only that pesky law wasn't in the way.
That part isn't sexist. The part that gives no benefit of the doubt before self-righteously branding half the world as monstrous barbarians.
Not to mention that almost all of these young male gamers cannot even remember a time when workplace sex discrimination etc. was acceptable and would find going back to a pre-1960s way of living to be awfully alien and undesirable. I hate that too: the assumption that somehow the old ways were unambiguously good for men and all men secretly wish things were like that again because gender equality is such a large sacrifice that men have had to make and it never helps them or takes pressure off them ever.

 

[Arcane Azmadi]

My theory is that the reason gamers react so violently when accused of sexism is because they're pissed that they've been caught out and offended that their sexism should even be questioned. I mean, when your response to a woman doing an article on sexism in gaming is to threaten to rape and murder her then I think you have issues.

Basically, gamers hate being called sexist because they ARE sexist and are also massive hypocrites.

But you're different, right?

Well... yes?

Because I'm not one of the "gamers who react so vocally to sexism" that we're actually discussing here.

 

[MeChaNiZ3D]

Of course gamers generally don't want to be sexist. The difference between your theory and my view is that where you would suggest that they secretly are and that the violent reaction is trying to cover up the sexism that they perpetuate all the time, I would suggest that it is the reasonable reaction to be UNJUSTLY labelled as sexist. Gamers don't necessarily want to be seen as normal either. In my experience, consisting of myself and my friends, we don't care. We like what we like. But gaming has a bad reputation anyway as a child's leisure activity and we don't want it seen as the source of prejudice in the world. That is at least my reasoning for my anger whenever I see something trivial or done for other reasons pointed out as 'sexist'.

I think we oppose sexism because we don't want it associated with gaming, which explains both actual opposition to actual sexism and opposition to trivial nitpicking that just tries to make games look bad. Not because we know it's there and don't want to admit it.

EDIT: Upon reading the OP again, maybe I'm agreeing.

 

[Erttheking]

Of course gamers generally don't want to be sexist. The difference between your theory and my view is that where you would suggest that they secretly are and that the violent reaction is trying to cover up the sexism that they perpetuate all the time, I would suggest that it is the reasonable reaction to be UNJUSTLY labelled as sexist. Gamers don't necessarily want to be seen as normal either. In my experience, consisting of myself and my friends, we don't care. We like what we like. But gaming has a bad reputation anyway as a child's leisure activity and we don't want it seen as the source of prejudice in the world. That is at least my reasoning for my anger whenever I see something trivial or done for other reasons pointed out as 'sexist'.

I think we oppose sexism because we don't want it associated with gaming, which explains both actual opposition to actual sexism and opposition to trivial nitpicking that just tries to make games look bad. Not because we know it's there and don't want to admit it.

EDIT: Upon reading the OP again, maybe I'm agreeing.

Yeah, we're sort of on the same page.

 

[Thoric485]

I think something that feeds into the antagonism is how mellow gaming journalists usually are in their ratings and judgement of mainstream games and big companies. Yet now they're pretending to turn around and "uncover the sexist agenda" or whatever, and have the gall to look down on the gamers who enjoy the things they've been endorsing for years.

The journalistic and critical body is supposed to be the membrane between the industry and the consumer. It's their job to give the nods to the unique, thought-provoking games, even if they're not popular or sell well, and to disregard the ones that aren't, even if they're popular and sell well. And they've failed at it again and again. In the world of gaming Transformers and Fast Five get the Oscars, There Will Be Blood gets 7/10 for being confusing. I'm not saying movie criticism is perfect, but at least there's a line separating film from box office crud.

When there isn't, there's no incentive to target other audiences than the one that buys the most. In the last few months gaming journalists have been very keen to point fingers, and blame gamers for being complacent and not demanding more diversity from publishers and developers, while at the same time calling them whiny and entitled when they call out a sequel for being dumbed down. They haven't pointed out their part in keeping the status quo, though they're widely perceived as a mere extension to PR, and a lot of them actually move on to that line of work, or even juggle it with their "journalism" job.

The gaming media hasn't done its part in creating fertile soil for in-depth criticism of games. Pretending to have a serious stance on this sort of issues in the hype-driven, consumerist reality of the gaming industry simply looks ridiculous. That's the elephant in the room, there won't be civil discussion on this subject until it's addressed.

 

[IsadoraD]

Sexism also becomes a bit of a scapegoat, people want to rail against something even if what they are railing against turns out to be blatantly false. Just about everything being accused of being sexist is not even close to sexism, just because something is marketed towards boys and men does not mean it is oppressing women.

I appreciate that you really can only comment on this from your own personal perspective, but quite a lot of things that are marketed towards boys and men have the uncanny side effect of adding to the oppression of females.

I could send you over to Anita Sarkesian's site and you could watch her video blogs on the devolution of Legos (which is a fine deconstruction showing early marketing and how it changed from cooperative play and building to combat and male aggressive play). I could point out small things like say, Power Rangers. I have a daughter who loves the Power Rangers. The PR's are marketed almost completely to boys. There are a few Pink/Yellow figures in there but we do not see any battle gear for them sold separately, any training gear, etc. The only ones you will really see are the Red, Green, Blue, Gold and any other Ranger possessing a penis. I get this, Saban Brands isn't going to shell out money where there's no great ROI. It is a money decision (as so many things are -- but making these decisions can negatively affect females, anyway.)

The message to the girl is that the Yellow/Pink rangers are somehow "less than" the others. They don't have as many toys available, they're not being given as much attention and they are pushed into the background. It's a message that is not lost on girls (subtle as it may be, it is a constant message we do get from all directions. Be small, be quiet.)

That's just one tiny example and there are probably millions (and way better ones.)

I read something online that was pretty sad -- a boy cried when he found out that his favorite Power Ranger (Yellow) was a girl. Now, why would he cry about that? Oh, right, because being a girl is somehow LESS THAN being a boy. It's a tiny yet persistent message and it may seem utterly harmless but grouped with all of the other similar messages it exponentially contributes to female oppression.

There's absolutely sexism in video games (and everywhere else, too.) Why men and boys feel threatened by females playing games is beyond me, though. It's really illogical on all fronts. The idea that men or boys think they can twiddle a joystick somehow "better" than a girl can is plain silliness. Some men/boys are terrible at video games, and some girls are excellent at them. Not as many girls want to participate though because men/boys are intimidated by their presence and push them out. It's not cooperation or logical thought, it's more like having a big ole hissyfit. A woman doing that sort of thing would be accused of being on the rag, but men and boys get away with it when they do it.

I might add though I have been "gaming" for over 20 years, I have never enjoyed PvP etc. and usually only socialize within my guild so I have not been the victim of player on player sexism at any time I can recall, which is nice to know. I have met many very NICE men and boys in games who are respectful, treat me as an equal and just want to play the game instead of playing games. (catch the difference?)

On Anita Sarkesian, if anyone male or female would say she should be murdered or raped or otherwise harmed in any way for simply holding her own opinion in the world on any topic, then that person is in need of mental help because it is not only completely illogical and non-thinking, but dangerous. Again, any person who would say such things IS sexist in the worst way and needs serious help because they could possibly become a real danger to society. Men who think and are mature should always fight against their "brother" on that front. there should be no back slapping in such a case, it is absolutely deplorable for a civilized society to allow such things to go unchallenged. Women are half the population and there's no excuse for trying to silence someone's voice because you find it doesn't agree with your opinions. I have heard porn defended on this very basis -- you can't ban porn as obscene because obscene means different things to different people. But I have seen the same folks who would defends these freedoms want women to be murdered, harmed and silences over something as utterly meaningless in the grand scheme of life as a video game.

 

[Darken12]

All of what you've written is true, but you didn't touch on something deeper:

Nobody knows what to do to "fix" sexism. We are a very goal-oriented society. If we identify a problem, it is ingrained in our heads to fix it as soon and as efficiently as possible. When someone criticises something of being sexist, nobody knows how to fix that. The most efficient thing most people imagine is censorship ("Let's get this game off the streets!") and that's just absolutely intolerable for people who enjoyed the game in spite of the sexism! The second thing most people think is "let's not allow another game like this to be made!" which also pisses the people who enjoyed it off.

A lot of people think that sexism is an isolated thing, like a single speck of dirt that we can just wipe off. It's not. Sexism pervades society, and everything society does (and the entertainment industry is no exception) gets contaminated by sexism (almost always inadvertently). If society teaches us sexist things, how can we not put them in the games we create, in everything we do? A lot of gamers don't understand this, and think that society is a paradise of equality and anything sexist is a horrible anomaly (which compounds on the previous points above, because the implications is "you are terrible for enjoying something obviously abnormal and evil, and you are also dumb for not noticing this was so terribly sexist").

Building up on the point above, the idea that sexism is abnormal leads to people dismissing criticisms of sexism by appealing to normalcy. "It can't be sexist! It's not any worse than any other game!" without realising that practically all games have some form of sexism (and it is almost always subtle enough to pass under the average straight male's radar).

The other sexism misconception is that sexism has to be malicious and purposeful, that it has to be born from a conscious, fully-aware hatred towards women. This is obviously false, but it leads to constant dismissals of criticism under the excuses of "But they didn't MEAN it to be sexist!" or "But the game isn't serious!" or "But they don't HATE women!" and so on. Sexism can be inadvertent. If you do what everyone else does, and everyone else is kinda sexist, you're going to do kinda sexist things. It's basic logic.

And going back to the "not an easy fix" problem, a lot of people think that feminism and other civil rights activism is just out to make everyone miserable and find problems where they don't exist, without giving simple, concrete ways of fixing them (as if "fixing society" was simple), hence why their criticisms also get dismissed. I will never, ever forget an anecdote written by a feminist about a conversation with her boyfriend:

[Feminist calmly points out an instance of inadvertent sexism in her boyfriend]
[Boyfriend agrees]
Boyfriend: "But if you weren't a feminist, you wouldn't have noticed this in the first place."
Feminist: "No, I would have noticed, but I would have just thought you were an asshole without really knowing why."
Feminist: [in her blog] "And I think that's where he finally got that feminism isn't making up or looking for problems where there aren't any, but instead trying to understand where those problems come from and how we can fix them."

People who point out instances of sexism, homophobia, racism or the like, aren't trying to look for problems where none exist, they are pointing out problems that we have learnt to live with (and that privileged majorities have little reason to change, as they either benefit them or have no problem with them), figuring out where they came from and trying to raise general awareness so that the people who are in a position to do something about them (such as game developers, for example), can step back and say "Wait, maybe we should be a bit more egalitarian." Or, conversely, the straight white male majority can join us in our demand for more equality (for sympathy's sake and human decency, if nothing else) and the industry will listen.

We aren't out to ruin your day. We just want you to realise that things aren't fair or equal.

 

[IsadoraD]

All of what you've written is true, but you didn't touch on something deeper:

Nobody knows what to do to "fix" sexism. We are a very goal-oriented society. If we identify a problem, it is ingrained in our heads to fix it as soon and as efficiently as possible. When someone criticises something of being sexist, nobody knows how to fix that. The most efficient thing most people imagine is censorship ("Let's get this game off the streets!") and that's just absolutely intolerable for people who enjoyed the game in spite of the sexism! The second thing most people think is "let's not allow another game like this to be made!" which also pisses the people who enjoyed it off.

A lot of people think that sexism is an isolated thing, like a single speck of dirt that we can just wipe off. It's not. Sexism pervades society, and everything society does (and the entertainment industry is no exception) gets contaminated by sexism (almost always inadvertently). If society teaches us sexist things, how can we not put them in the games we create, in everything we do? A lot of gamers don't understand this, and think that society is a paradise of equality and anything sexist is a horrible anomaly (which compounds on the previous points above, because the implications is "you are terrible for enjoying something obviously abnormal and evil, and you are also dumb for not noticing this was so terribly sexist").

Building up on the point above, the idea that sexism is abnormal leads to people dismissing criticisms of sexism by appealing to normalcy. "It can't be sexist! It's not any worse than any other game!" without realising that practically all games have some form of sexism (and it is almost always subtle enough to pass under the average straight male's radar).

The other sexism misconception is that sexism has to be malicious and purposeful, that it has to be born from a conscious, fully-aware hatred towards women. This is obviously false, but it leads to constant dismissals of criticism under the excuses of "But they didn't MEAN it to be sexist!" or "But the game isn't serious!" or "But they don't HATE women!" and so on. Sexism can be inadvertent. If you do what everyone else does, and everyone else is kinda sexist, you're going to do kinda sexist things. It's basic logic.

And going back to the "not an easy fix" problem, a lot of people think that feminism and other civil rights activism is just out to make everyone miserable and find problems where they don't exist, without giving simple, concrete ways of fixing them (as if "fixing society" was simple), hence why their criticisms also get dismissed. I will never, ever forget an anecdote written by a feminist about a conversation with her boyfriend:

[Feminist calmly points out an instance of inadvertent sexism in her boyfriend]
[Boyfriend agrees]
Boyfriend: "But if you weren't a feminist, you wouldn't have noticed this in the first place."
Feminist: "No, I would have noticed, but I would have just thought you were an asshole without really knowing why."
Feminist: [in her blog] "And I think that's where he finally got that feminism isn't making up or looking for problems where there aren't any, but instead trying to understand where those problems come from and how we can fix them."

People who point out instances of sexism, homophobia, racism or the like, aren't trying to look for problems where none exist, they are pointing out problems that we have learnt to live with (and that privileged majorities have little reason to change, as they either benefit them or have no problem with them), figuring out where they came from and trying to raise general awareness so that the people who are in a position to do something about them (such as game developers, for example), can step back and say "Wait, maybe we should be a bit more egalitarian." Or, conversely, the straight white male majority can join us in our demand for more equality (for sympathy's sake and human decency, if nothing else) and the industry will listen.

We aren't out to ruin your day. We just want you to realise that things aren't fair or equal.

Life isn't fair and never will be, but we continue the struggle anyway because what else can we do? (If we all realized each day that we are heading toward inevitable death, it would make life unbearable for many and they would sink into a paralyzing depression.) So we try to do *something*. I can't accept that we must "learn to live with" (add problem here). People like Martin Luther King Jr. were out there fighting at a time when the tide was strongly against them and the message was, "don't bother, we got this."

I have to admit that even I have not even noticed sexism sometimes and once it was pointed out I couldn't believe I'd "missed it." And I have seen many things that are completely sexist towards males and YES through a certain swinging of the pendulum too far towards feminism, I see how it can also be harmful to males in that regard. (for example how men can be assaulted by women in film and it's funny, but if a woman is assaulted it's criminal.)

I don't think the industry will listen because people (in general, men and women both) still buy the games (I buy Tomb Raider -- every single one and have never complained to Eidos etc. about Lara although at times while playing I will just roll my eyes because sometimes it's just beyond ridiculous). Underneath it all, I think as the OP may have said, it's really about appealing to a base nature of the human being and using the needs of the human against itself in order to personally profit. We're ALL being manipulated. I think sexism makes certain folks money and we're all pawns in that game. (Porn is the same thing. It wouldn't be a billion dollar industry if it didn't hit us right where they know we're sensitive. Food and sex, most primitively important things to humans.)

Is it really too terrible to ask though, that men and boys in general allow space for females in these gaming realms? Has the world crashed down because a women plays Gears of War or (name a popular gun game here)? Are men any less than because women play? (And btw I knew a man who liked to always play female characters -- so you never really know who you're playing against.)

I stumbled upon a darkly "funny" website/facebook page recently labelled "Fat Ugly or Slutty" and the comments were so outright weird. It's like some people don't have a brain controlling their mouths, their mouths (or fingers) just spew forth any knee jerk reaction that comes to them. This is precisely why I take huge offense at men being characterized as the "logical" sex while women are "emotional." Anger, jealousy, fear, etc, are all emotions that men show quite strongly, esp when they feel threatened.

My mom (who is now 79 God bless her) has always told me men are about the three P's and I have found it to be mostly true: Pride, Power and Penis. (I hope that isn't offensive, as I know that even the most lovely of men do unfortunately fit into Mom's advice, and it doesn't make me HATE them or anything, but it's just what we're dealing with.)

I might add, because I really can't stay on here, that I wonder sometimes if I am not a bit sexist sometimes when I look at shows like Red Dwarf and get really upset that they brought back Kochanski and think she really ruined it. It was all just sex and period jokes after that *sigh* Even women don't want THAT.

 

[TheLastFeeder]

Can we have a new rule on the forums? No more sexism, mass effect 3, gun control or sexist gun control in mass effect 3 threads for at least 6 months. Please for the love of various gods

OK since you asked nicely

But I was going to make a thread about Mass Effects similarities to certain Call of Cthulhu adventures and how the futuristic setting of mass effect helped re-leave the problems that followed playing a female or a black character in the 1920's and the problems that followed the limited weapons verity of that era.

Yeah not the right time, I agree.

 

[Vault101]

becuase we all have our standards as to what is/isnt sexist/acceptible and we complain when things dont meet our standards

 

[Darken12]

Words of awesome.

When I read that, I had the urge to say "Right on, sister!" but then I realised it might be kind of inappropriate. But I wanted to convey the feeling anyway. Rock on!

 

[Cheesepower5]

All of what you've written is true, but you didn't touch on something deeper:

Nobody knows what to do to "fix" sexism. We are a very goal-oriented society. If we identify a problem, it is ingrained in our heads to fix it as soon and as efficiently as possible. When someone criticises something of being sexist, nobody knows how to fix that. The most efficient thing most people imagine is censorship ("Let's get this game off the streets!") and that's just absolutely intolerable for people who enjoyed the game in spite of the sexism! The second thing most people think is "let's not allow another game like this to be made!" which also pisses the people who enjoyed it off.

A lot of people think that sexism is an isolated thing, like a single speck of dirt that we can just wipe off. It's not. Sexism pervades society, and everything society does (and the entertainment industry is no exception) gets contaminated by sexism (almost always inadvertently). If society teaches us sexist things, how can we not put them in the games we create, in everything we do? A lot of gamers don't understand this, and think that society is a paradise of equality and anything sexist is a horrible anomaly (which compounds on the previous points above, because the implications is "you are terrible for enjoying something obviously abnormal and evil, and you are also dumb for not noticing this was so terribly sexist").

Building up on the point above, the idea that sexism is abnormal leads to people dismissing criticisms of sexism by appealing to normalcy. "It can't be sexist! It's not any worse than any other game!" without realising that practically all games have some form of sexism (and it is almost always subtle enough to pass under the average straight male's radar).

The other sexism misconception is that sexism has to be malicious and purposeful, that it has to be born from a conscious, fully-aware hatred towards women. This is obviously false, but it leads to constant dismissals of criticism under the excuses of "But they didn't MEAN it to be sexist!" or "But the game isn't serious!" or "But they don't HATE women!" and so on. Sexism can be inadvertent. If you do what everyone else does, and everyone else is kinda sexist, you're going to do kinda sexist things. It's basic logic.

And going back to the "not an easy fix" problem, a lot of people think that feminism and other civil rights activism is just out to make everyone miserable and find problems where they don't exist, without giving simple, concrete ways of fixing them (as if "fixing society" was simple), hence why their criticisms also get dismissed. I will never, ever forget an anecdote written by a feminist about a conversation with her boyfriend:

[Feminist calmly points out an instance of inadvertent sexism in her boyfriend]
[Boyfriend agrees]
Boyfriend: "But if you weren't a feminist, you wouldn't have noticed this in the first place."
Feminist: "No, I would have noticed, but I would have just thought you were an asshole without really knowing why."
Feminist: [in her blog] "And I think that's where he finally got that feminism isn't making up or looking for problems where there aren't any, but instead trying to understand where those problems come from and how we can fix them."

People who point out instances of sexism, homophobia, racism or the like, aren't trying to look for problems where none exist, they are pointing out problems that we have learnt to live with (and that privileged majorities have little reason to change, as they either benefit them or have no problem with them), figuring out where they came from and trying to raise general awareness so that the people who are in a position to do something about them (such as game developers, for example), can step back and say "Wait, maybe we should be a bit more egalitarian." Or, conversely, the straight white male majority can join us in our demand for more equality (for sympathy's sake and human decency, if nothing else) and the industry will listen.

We aren't out to ruin your day. We just want you to realise that things aren't fair or equal.

Life isn't fair and never will be, but we continue the struggle anyway because what else can we do? (If we all realized each day that we are heading toward inevitable death, it would make life unbearable for many and they would sink into a paralyzing depression.) So we try to do *something*. I can't accept that we must "learn to live with" (add problem here). People like Martin Luther King Jr. were out there fighting at a time when the tide was strongly against them and the message was, "don't bother, we got this."

I have to admit that even I have not even noticed sexism sometimes and once it was pointed out I couldn't believe I'd "missed it." And I have seen many things that are completely sexist towards males and YES through a certain swinging of the pendulum too far towards feminism, I see how it can also be harmful to males in that regard. (for example how men can be assaulted by women in film and it's funny, but if a woman is assaulted it's criminal.)

I don't think the industry will listen because people (in general, men and women both) still buy the games (I buy Tomb Raider -- every single one and have never complained to Eidos etc. about Lara although at times while playing I will just roll my eyes because sometimes it's just beyond ridiculous). Underneath it all, I think as the OP may have said, it's really about appealing to a base nature of the human being and using the needs of the human against itself in order to personally profit. We're ALL being manipulated. I think sexism makes certain folks money and we're all pawns in that game. (Porn is the same thing. It wouldn't be a billion dollar industry if it didn't hit us right where they know we're sensitive. Food and sex, most primitively important things to humans.)

Is it really too terrible to ask though, that men and boys in general allow space for females in these gaming realms? Has the world crashed down because a women plays Gears of War or (name a popular gun game here)? Are men any less than because women play? (And btw I knew a man who liked to always play female characters -- so you never really know who you're playing against.)

I stumbled upon a darkly "funny" website/facebook page recently labelled "Fat Ugly or Slutty" and the comments were so outright weird. It's like some people don't have a brain controlling their mouths, their mouths (or fingers) just spew forth any knee jerk reaction that comes to them. This is precisely why I take huge offense at men being characterized as the "logical" sex while women are "emotional." Anger, jealousy, fear, etc, are all emotions that men show quite strongly, esp when they feel threatened.

My mom (who is now 79 God bless her) has always told me men are about the three P's and I have found it to be mostly true: Pride, Power and Penis. (I hope that isn't offensive, as I know that even the most lovely of men do unfortunately fit into Mom's advice, and it doesn't make me HATE them or anything, but it's just what we're dealing with.)

I might add, because I really can't stay on here, that I wonder sometimes if I am not a bit sexist sometimes when I look at shows like Red Dwarf and get really upset that they brought back Kochanski and think she really ruined it. It was all just sex and period jokes after that *sigh* Even women don't want THAT.

My dad (who is now 52 Darwin remain dead and completely incapable of blessing him) has always told me women are about the three V's and I have found it to be mostly true: Vanity, Vulnerability and Vagina.

I don't actually believe that, and it should be painfully obvious my dad's never even said that (I doubt he's even used the word "vanity" in his life.) I'm just saying it to demonstrate that yes, that is kind of offensive. You're totally free to say it, to think it or to push it, but yeah, it's totally wrong. Men are complex, emotional beings that experience the whole spectrum women do. By failing on some level to realise it, you too can proudly call yourself a sexist.

Maybe that's not so bad, though. Maybe it makes it easier to understand where men come from when they feel that way too? Maybe it doesn't matter if we're wrong, ignorant or biased, as long as we don't act on hate?