I think my boyfriend is developing a WoW addiction?

[timeadept]

I don't "believe" in video game addiction, i feel that the term addiction is used overly dramatically and inappropriately. That being said, 18 hours a day is definitely excessive however when you use the term "addiction" like so many do, you fail to recognize the cause of his behavior by saying the game causes him to play the game. The 4-5 hours a day he plays now is nothing, i can easily log 8 hours of gaming into any given day, and i have done the 18 hour days too, pretty often during the summer actually. Mostly for me it's a time killer, i play games cause theres nothing better to do, on the other hand i will sometimes put off stuff i need to do because i don't want the responsibility of doing it (but eventually i hit a "crunch time" and get it all done at once).

I have known myself to go through something i would call "withdrawal" it takes me longer than a day but it still happens, and it tells me that there is "something" that games give me that i'm not getting elsewhere. I don't know what it is, it may just be an escape from a reality where i have to be responsible for my actions, or even more generally just an escape from a stressful world where i cannot "fix" the problem causing the stress but still can't help but feel responsible. I think i can reasonably assume that your boyfriend is using games as a similar escape. If anything i'd say to try to figure out what he's escaping from, he may not even realize why he plays games himself, then again maybe he does know, looking into this wouldn't be a bad place to start. I don't think the answer is in limiting his game time, the trick is, again, to figure out why he plays and then show him a better way of getting it than the games he's playing.

Keep in mind that some people don't "like" being around other people, I mean it is enjoyable for some time but i know from experience, that unlike most people, being around others can tire me out, even if i like being with them in general. There is nothing i can or WANT to do about this, it's simply part of who i am and games happen to be a convenient way of being alone.

Also check out the "Ask Dr.Mark" section on this site, i'll see if i can find a link to a useful article.
*EDIT* found one that might be helpful http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/columns/ask-dr-mark/8147-Ask-Dr-Mark-8

 

[sdafdfhrye3245]

Honestly WoW isn't addictive to the level of which people say it is. But what pokey said is really your best bet. And who knows maybe you will end up liking the game more then he does

you could start playing WoW with him, it'd give you more time to spend together, and if it gets out of hand you'll have a deeper understanding of what's going on.

 

[Nouw]

If he values games over you, dump him. Or try and stop his addiction by

a.asking for more 'quality' time.
b.Somehow disable his computer.
c.Ban his WoW account. I kid, I kid.

Also,

Welcome to the Escapist.

 

[SimuLord]

Do you want a dude who likes WOW more than you? I'd suggest lookin arround for something better.

Absolutely 100% true. This guy's got an addictive personality, a seriously warped sense of his priorities, and do you really want to be romantically involved with a guy like that?

Dump him. NOW. Guys like that can't really be saved.

 

[MASTACHIEFPWN]

This is just me, but something that really gets me to stop whatever the hell I'm doing and submit is... well... Girls... Just offer to, I don't know, take him to someplace special, wear a sexy dress, ect... But that is just me.

 

[Popido]

Love is overrated. Roll a Paladin.

Its a hobby and he either really likes it or finds it as a good stress relief and something to get immersed with. Think of it as a bowling, but much easier to access and should leave you with no doubt that he might be having affair.

If you care about him, then yes, dumbing him would be the best excuse to stop caring about him.

Try to take an interest with hes hobby. You might actually find a new hobby for you both to share with. Plus, if you can rationally control your play times, it would also make him be more aware of his addiction.

If the addiction gets really bad, then the problem isnt with the game anymore, but something more deeper.

But for starts you should just tell him that your worried about this. Taking the game away from him only works if hes willfully trying to find an excuse to stop.

Or you could just kill him and stuff him. Never hurts to learn something new.

 

[Kouen]

Looked everywhere for a gaming addiction forum and they don't seem to exist, so you guys are my last hope
My boyfriend's had a gaming addiction in the past, his family have told me he used to spend around 18hrs a day gaming, I tolerate him playing games for a couple of hours a day otherwise he literally gets withdrawal symptoms.
When he bought WoW I was worried because I'd heard about it being extremely addictive and it turns out I was right to be worried I would say he spends 4-5, a day, sometimes more, playing WoW and when he's not playing it he just goes on about how much he wants to play.
I know 4-5 hours isn't anything too serious yet but he does have a past history of game addiction, so am I over reacting or not? If not what do I do?
Any response greatly appreciated

Yup World of Warcraft is like Digital Crack, and this is coming from a rehabilitated WoW Hermit.

I've clocked shamefully 5,000 Hours or more on it, I'm thankful the latest patch (4.0.1) broke my addiction. Indeed WoW is the biggest most addictive game there is I think probably seconded by that damned Minecraft.

My advice stop him now before its too late! and this is coming from a long time WoW Player

 

[Netrigan]

http://www.cracked.com/article_18461_5-creepy-ways-video-games-are-trying-to-get-you-addicted.html

after work I'll put in my proper two cents but the above article is something I think your boyfriend should read. Yes, it's from a humor site but it's a very accurate description of how certain games used basic psychological tricks to keep you playing... even if you're technically not having fun. The article helped me break free of one of those Facebook games. Once you realize what they're doing and that they're purposely doing it, it becomes hard to justify giving these people your free time. While I've never played WoW I understand it's guilty of quite a lot of these.

 

[Ascarus]

Give him the choice, if he picks you great if not, you didnt need him anyways

The game, or you. If it's the game, I'm sorry.

Do you want a dude who likes WOW more than you? I'd suggest lookin arround for something better.

Use the classic ultimatum "Its either me, or the game"
He's either gonna come crawling, or turn round on his chair and keep playing
If its the latter then he's no good for you

i sometimes wonder if any of you have ever even spoken to another human being.

dumping an ultimatum on this person is simply going to cause him to become immediately defensive and resentful. he wll feel ashamed, embarrassed, angry and hurt. all those are going to cause him to withdraw even further away from his relationship and deeper into the game.

speaking to him like a person and couching the arugment in terms of her missing him as a person and a partner will have the potential for a much greater positive impact over simply saying "me or the game".

but if this is behavior that is repeating itself (as the OP suggested is the case) and he doesn't truthfully acknowledge the problem himself, it will all be a lot more complicated.

Ignore all the "dump his ass" posts.

agreed.

 

[Imperioratorex Caprae]

See, I got it right, I got my girlfriend (now wife) into playing WoW with me. Then she can't ***** at me for being an addict cuz she is too.
Ever try playing with him? If you don't like it, there still is always teh reverse psychology chance that you playing it will make him not want to (thus ultimately telling you he really doesn't want to be around you.)

 

[Something Amyss]

See, I got it right, I got my girlfriend (now wife) into playing WoW with me. Then she can't ***** at me for being an addict cuz she is too.

You, my friend, are evil.

And a genius.

 

[Imperioratorex Caprae]

See, I got it right, I got my girlfriend (now wife) into playing WoW with me. Then she can't ***** at me for being an addict cuz she is too.

You, my friend, are evil.

And a genius.

TBH, WoW actually saved my relationship with my wife. We were separated for almost 2 years because of a job and having WoW together and regularly playing has kept us happy. So people can't say WoW is truly evil. Its not the product its the person using it.

 

[stormtrooper9091]

dump him and marry me LOL LOL ROFL PWNED

seriously people, this is a joke account

 

[Broken Orange]

Just make sure that he doesn't let his social life suffer and everything should be cool.

 

[Continuity]

If you have your boobs out and he says wait a minute let me finish this quest, then you have a problem.

Yeah I did that to a GF once, not with WoW mind it was counter strike I think... Seriously I was just finishing the one game and then shutting down my computer, it took like 1 minute 30 seconds but in that time she gone to bed in a huff and wouldn't talk to me until the next day...

Learned a lesson there: Never give a girl a reason, no matter how small, to think that she isn't the most important thing in your life - at least if you want to keep her that is.

OT: Gaming addiction is pretty serious, but just because he's ignoring/neglecting you don't think that automatically means he doesn't love you. On the other hand you ought to talk to him about it and explain that you're not happy, but to be fair you also have to be reasonable, 2-4 hours a day isn't that bad, anything more than that and you have a definite right to complain.

 

[Something Amyss]

TBH, WoW actually saved my relationship with my wife. We were separated for almost 2 years because of a job and having WoW together and regularly playing has kept us happy. So people can't say WoW is truly evil. Its not the product its the person using it.

Yeah, I can't say I think I'm ever going to find a game saving my relationships, but as far as WoW not being bad, I definitely agree. I played Rock Band a lot with my ex. We'd probably play even more, but her wrists were dainty and she couldn't handle it for too much. She likes music but can't really play an instrument, and I can play an instrument but find playing Rock Band fun, so it worked out for both of us.

Anything you can enjoy with a love one is cool. Well, maybe not mass murder, but anything two consenting adults can do that's not hurting anyone is cool. Warcraft certainly ain't my bag, but I won't know it.

 

[Iandiaeufaieubfeuihfi]

If he doesn't show any amount of affection at all than dump him.

 

[Canid117]

he spends 4-5, a day, sometimes more, playing WoW

Good for him.

If you are really worried then sit down and talk with him about it.

You know... like... two adults in a healthy relationship?

 

[Communist partisan]

Looked everywhere for a gaming addiction forum and they don't seem to exist, so you guys are my last hope
My boyfriend's had a gaming addiction in the past, his family have told me he used to spend around 18hrs a day gaming, I tolerate him playing games for a couple of hours a day otherwise he literally gets withdrawal symptoms.
When he bought WoW I was worried because I'd heard about it being extremely addictive and it turns out I was right to be worried I would say he spends 4-5, a day, sometimes more, playing WoW and when he's not playing it he just goes on about how much he wants to play.
I know 4-5 hours isn't anything too serious yet but he does have a past history of game addiction, so am I over reacting or not? If not what do I do?
Any response greatly appreciated

Hello, I was kinda addicted to wow once and played it too much (about my hole sparetime), now I acculy don't even play games nearly so yeah, he's getting a hold on the additction try pulling him out of it or make him stop if it don't work yust ditch him don't let him drag you down.