I Think My Girlfriend Is A Lesbian . . .
- Thread starter Comma-Kazie
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I recommend that next time you are in the room "stumble" upon the book and make light of it with the old "Oh what's this?" line. She will be embarrassed but won't think that you think she is a lesbian.
+1MaxTheReaper said:
dbrose, it seems to me that whether or not she's a lesbian is beside the point. From your post I couldn't say what she is interested in, but it sounds pretty clear what she's not interested in: you. Don't take it personally, just let her know it's not working for you and move on. There are lots and lots and lots of fish in the sea. Some of them will like you back. Don't waste time on the ones that don't!
Speaking as someone who has yaoi cached in his room, I advise you not to jump to conclusions. Other than that...beats me.
have you noticed her looking at other women? are there any signs of her orientation besides the book?
tread lightly.
tread lightly.
Maybe she's just a little bi-curious. Or maybe you're dating a lesbian, at which point I'd have to laugh at you because that's pretty funny. I say jump to conclusions and confront her, and try to be as hostile as possible. Should go fine.
She may be bi. She may simply be curious about it or wanting something different to read. I'd focus less on that and more on the lack of affectionate feelings. Examine what your affectionate gestures, see if you've done something to make her cautious. My girlfriend lives six thousand miles away but even we makes affectionate gestures towards each other.dbrose said:
... I should probably warn you that read that as a bit homophobic. I might be wrong (just had a big argument about the subject with someone, so might be a little over-sensitive for a while), but I thought I should warn you in case you hadn't meant it that way and others take it the same way I do.ElephantGuts said:
Ah well I must brush up on my reading skills. I somehow got the impression that she was not showing as much interest in him out of his post. Yeah guess it might be time to have the wonderful, "I am most likely going to dump you unless some odd revelation in this conversation changes my mind" talk.MaxTheReaper said:
Dude, that book might not even belong to her. My best leaves all kinds of stuff in my room all the time. Just talk to her, cause if you can't, then thats not a relationship at all.
Wha? No, of course I meant because as a male his relationship with someone who is sexually attracted to females would be less than fruitful and probably just a frustrating waste of time. Not because lesbians are bad people or something like that. I guess I'll clear that up in my post...thejadefalcon said:
EDIT: Fucked up that quote. Fixed, sort of.
A cursory search for that title you listed reveals that the aforementioned book is a compilation of short stories that all have lesbian erotica as the subject matter (and are presumably 'the best'). I'm having a hard time envisioning a scenario where she'd have that book for any other reason besides being into the subject matter, but it's certainly possible.
It's no problem. Like I said, I may have been a bit overly sensitive anyway because of a cretin I argued with just before I read that. Thanks for clarifying anyway though.ElephantGuts said:
A guy can dream damnit. A guy can dream.MaxTheReaper said:
Stop killing all my dreams!
Besides I have had that talk before, in reality it is a "We are both going to get angry and I am going to stop listening halfway through, so this relationship is over. Goodbye." Talk.
As a lesbian, let me see if I can facilitate this.
Now, with the basics out of the way;
So don't jump at your assumptions. Communicate with her, and you may find your relationship blossom. But if she's being distant because things aren't working out on the very basic level, then it won't matter if your girlfriend is attracted to women or not.
Relationship failure is more likely the reason. You two got together for whatever reason, which means she was digging whatever you were serving. She enjoyed your company, liked being with you, and chose to act on those feelings. If she's being distant, there's a chance the magic is fading, or something has happened in her life recently.dbrose said:
Communication is key for any relationship to survive. So I believe, yes, you should communicate your feelings and thoughts of a stagnating relationship to her (tactfully and kindly, of course). Be prepared however; such a discussion is a fork in the road. If she really is getting tired of the relationship, this could be an easy out for her. However, not talking to her will only delay the inevitable. Talking with her could even save the relationship, too, so it's not like you're doomed here.dbrose said:
Now, with the basics out of the way;
I repeat what I said earlier; she chose to be with you. She does not however choose what she's attracted to. Attracted to women or not, she's with you for her reasons. That book could be on her shelf for any number of reasons; A friend left it at her place; she was curious behind the appeal of lesbian sex culture; she needed "reading" material because the porn industry is a disgusting place for women to find things to get off on. The list of possibilities can and does go on.dbrose said:
So don't jump at your assumptions. Communicate with her, and you may find your relationship blossom. But if she's being distant because things aren't working out on the very basic level, then it won't matter if your girlfriend is attracted to women or not.