I Think My Girlfriend Is A Lesbian . . .

[Comma-Kazie]

As a lesbian, let me see if I can facilitate this.

Wow. Okay. That might explain why she's been so distant.

Relationship failure is more likely the reason. You two got together for whatever reason, which means she was digging whatever you were serving. She enjoyed your company, liked being with you, and chose to act on those feelings. If she's being distant, there's a chance the magic is fading, or something has happened in her life recently.

Should I talk to her about this?

Communication is key for any relationship to survive. So I believe, yes, you should communicate your feelings and thoughts of a stagnating relationship to her (tactfully and kindly, of course). Be prepared however; such a discussion is a fork in the road. If she really is getting tired of the relationship, this could be an easy out for her. However, not talking to her will only delay the inevitable. Talking with her could even save the relationship, too, so it's not like you're doomed here.

Now, with the basics out of the way;

So I was helping my girlfriend with her computer earlier this afternoon and I noticed a book on her shelf entitled "The Best Lesbian Erotica."

I repeat what I said earlier; she chose to be with you. She does not however choose what she's attracted to. Attracted to women or not, she's with you for her reasons. That book could be on her shelf for any number of reasons; A friend left it at her place; she was curious behind the appeal of lesbian sex culture; she needed "reading" material because the porn industry is a disgusting place for women to find things to get off on. The list of possibilities can and does go on.

So don't jump at your assumptions. Communicate with her, and you may find your relationship blossom. But if she's being distant because things aren't working out on the very basic level, then it won't matter if your girlfriend is attracted to women or not.

Thank you for your insight--I appreciate it.

 

[Firia]

in hindsight, I don't think my experience with sexual orientation really had any say in it. Communication is the real key here. Nothing anyone says here will help if you can't talk to her.

 

[Rolling Thunder]

Ah, welcome to the wonderful world where your romantic life consists of holding your girlfriend and trying to get her to stop crying/panicking/spitting venomous fury/moaning in self-loathing/etc at nights, and being told how wonderful you are by day, but still not getting annnnnyyyy....

Damn. 2 weeks without sex is not fun.

 

[Aardvark Soup]

If your life was a sitcom this will all turn out to be one giant misunderstanding fuelled by miscommunication and comedic coincedences. However, since I highly doubt your life actually is a sitcom, I'd suggest you just talk to her. Maybe there is an alternate explanation for why that book's there or maybe there isn't. You won't find out if you don't ask her.

 

[JWAN]

Do you also go into high school locker rooms asking people how to beat the mile high club on veteran?

Or how not to get into a situation where you have to loudly assert your heterosexuality while playing grab-ass with a bunch of nearly-naked men?
Of course not!

Ah well I must brush up on my reading skills. I somehow got the impression that she was not showing as much interest in him out of his post. Yeah guess it might be time to have the wonderful, "I am most likely going to dump you unless some odd revelation in this conversation changes my mind" talk.

Unless he's living in some kind of terrible movie, I doubt it.

so he can watch lesbian sex. duh

I'm sure a girl who doesn't want to hold hands would be willing to let him voyeur up while she's getting it on.

Ah, what the hell do I know.
Kids these days probably would think that's cool.

Lesbian sex IS cool

 

[Kimjira19]

So I was helping my girlfriend with her computer earlier this afternoon and I noticed a book on her shelf entitled "The Best Lesbian Erotica."

Wow. Okay. That might explain why she's been so distant. The question is, though, IS that evidence that she likes women rather than men, or . . . well, what?

Should I talk to her about this? I haven't seen any (and I mean ANY) signs of interest from her since I asked her out--not a hug, not a peck, not even a proferred hand to hold.

I hate to break it to but you should probably talk to her.