I WANNA KILL CHILDREN!

[Movitz]

To be more precise, children in video games.

Look, I'll explain.

In games like Fallout 3 and Skyrim, you have these kid characters, mmkay. Now, following in the footsteps of their precursors, you can do pretty much what you want in these games, even randomly killing people (just make sure they lack plot armor, or you'll look stupid). Now a game were you can go about slaughtering every child 'cause you're rp:ing as a daedra-worshipper/Raider/Sick fuck would probably not fly in our sensitive media climate, so I understand why all children have been given the gift of immortality.

BUT

Why must the children make me wanna kill them?!

In Fallout 3 (LOOK OUT, SPOILERS!), you have this underground city called little lamplight or something, run by some son of a ***** called McDickhead, a 12-year old just swearing and being an unsufferable prick, and the rest of the population are also kids just as annoying as McShouldbeshoot. Your character was probably in good enough shape to FTUBAR with just a baseballbat the second he/she stepped out of the vault, but they still talk down to you like you ain't shit!

And Skyrim (OH NO, MORE SPOILERS!).. the first fuckin' village after the dragon attack, there's some blond shitstain telling you "Oh, this is my village, stay out of my way, *****!", and somewhere later in the game there's another blond little bastard spurting out that you can't be the dragonborn, 'cause you look weak as hell. I'M THE FUCKING DRAGONBORN, THE JESUS OF YOUR WORLD, WHO ARE YOU TO QUESTION ME YOU SON OF A CHEAP, ARGONIAN WHORE?!

All in all, they are annoying, the break immersion (all the kids in little lamplight would've been raped and taken for slaves in any realistic setting. And I'm okey with that, the obviuosly deserves such a fate) and for the most part doesn't serve any point in the game other than making it a bit more "realistic", I guess. Because you do have to wonder what's up with a world were there aren't any children.

Now, I propose three solutions to this problem:

1. Okey, keep the annoying kids, but let them pay the consequense for being annoying kids. Make 'em mortal ;C

2. Take all the annoying kids to the dirtiest and cheapest romanian orphanage you can find and leave all the kids that aren't annoying in the game. While you're still at the dirty romanian orphanage, adopt some of the good kids and let them move into your game. I'm sure they will appreciate it =D

3. Let us at least smack the bastards so that they fall to their knees and cry, and then never bother you again. Yeah, the media would probably flip about this more, but then again the mere mention of sex in games make them flip so.. fuck it.

Now come forth and praise my insane ramblings, so I can feel a bit better about myself!

 

[Sack of Cheese]

I think the problem is decent amount of video games writers don't really know how to write kids. Most kids in Bethesda games are walking bad stereotypes anyway.

Kids in video games where they're main characters are usually better and cuter, like Costume Quest, Kingdom hearts, Recettear or something similar.

 

[aaronobst]

Both games have killable children mods if you're interested.

 

[Movitz]

Both games have killable children mods if you're interested.

It's not about killing kids - It's about sending a message.

Just like Sack of Cheese writes, kids are just plain badly written. What child would go up to a warrior with skulls on his armor and be all like "I can take you, you fat piece of nothing!"? None, because the warrior would at least give him the smacking of his life, if not outright kill him. Warriors with skulls on their armor are nasty like that, see.

It's kinda like plot armor for incompetent villains: You should be able to just kill them, but nooo, they've gotta survive until way later in the game, were it will be less satisfaying killing them. It's just bad writting, and you shouldn't tease the player like that.

 

[Qvar]

I agree, but only if I can offer their blood to Satan (or Mehrunes Dagon in Skyrim's case).

Had to write something else other than just "Yes please". Buuuut yeah, making kids so despicable and yet unable to be killed is cruel. Also make sme wonder why don't they take over the world.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

Technically that's what you do in Rule of Rose. Then again the game sucks. Forget I mentioned it.

 

[Exhuminator]

I remember in the original Fallout, there were kids in some towns that would pickpocket from you. One time I caught one doing it, and in retaliation blew that brat to pieces with a combat shotgun. Interestingly, after that I was branded a "child killer" and most people were rude to me, if they would talk to me at all. Later on, I started being stalked by bands of bounty hunters looking to kill the "child killer". I thought it was a pretty interesting dynamic of the game to alter the NPC's perception of you like that. Now, that was in the USA version of the game. Kids were censored out of the European version IIRC.

 

[Auron225]

This sums it up nicely I feel

http://www.darklegacycomics.com/333.html

Most of the time I don't particularly wish to murder them but it does kinda break the immersion for them to be indestructible. But then if they weren't - the media would have a field day by interpreting any game that does allow it as "All about murdering children". I think it's a necessary evil at worst.

 

[Auberon]

Play Fallout 2. You can arm a dynamite bundle, and those stupid kids will pickpocket them. Very effective method of teaching them to behave.

 

[SKBPinkie]

*reads title*

Well, everyone has a hobby, I guess.

OT: Yeah, I agree. It seems to be mainly Bethesda's games as well. There's this one little shitstain in Whiterun's castle - that one kid who goes "another traveler, here to lick my father's boots". The tone with which he says it just makes me want to beat him to death with his own skull.

 

[Something Amyss]

Why must the children make me wanna kill them?!

Maybe this reflects more about gamer mentality than an endemic flaw in the games?

 

[JoJo]

They should just be made mortal, in a world where so many real living children are neglected or abused, not to mention murdered, I don't see why anyone cares about a collection of pixels that happen to look like a young human. It's perfectly acceptable to beat a granny to a pulp or run over random pedestrians in GTA, why should children be exempt? I have to wonder whether the media would make such a fuss as everyone assumes, I mean you have to fight ghost children in Prey, after watching a pair of kids get killed and I don't remember hearing anything about that. Hopefully as time goes on, a higher proportion of the population will have grown up with video games and will have a maturer attitude towards them... maybe >.>

And just to be clear, this isn't coming from any position of hatred, children are the best kind of people in my opinion, I just don't see why they should be exempt in an open world game where anyone-else is fair game.

 

[Fraught]

Thank you. I mean, it isn't a big annoyance for me, because I played Skyrim three years ago when it first came out, but I saw a PeanutButter Gamer video recently where he got enraged at the kids in the Jarl's keep in that one city you get to in the beginning that I forgot the name to (White...something? Wood...something? I don't remember...), and I have to fully agree with how annoying they are.

I mean, alright, Bethesda. If you don't want to show us how such asshole children wouldn't be, as OP said, raped and/or killed for being such intolerable shits to the god damn Dragonborn (or, really, probably anyone they ever see), then at least don't make them so insufferable.

But I guess they had fun with it. Y'know, got a hearty giggle out of programming the kids to provoke you, and then make them unkillable. Like dangling a carrot in front of your face that's tied to your back, so you can never reach it. And you know it's tied to your back.

Why must the children make me wanna kill them?!

Maybe this reflects more about gamer mentality than an endemic flaw in the games?

No. Have you actually played Fallout 3 or Skyrim? Because if the answer to that question was "yes", you wouldn't be asking us if it's an 'endemic flaw'. No one should live a life where they don't want to beat those kids into submission, dag nabbit!

 

[CloudAtlas]

Why must the children make me wanna kill them?!

Maybe this reflects more about gamer mentality than an endemic flaw in the games?

Maybe. On the other hand, causing a feeling of annoyance in some random dude truly warrants a virtual death sentence, even under juvenile law, so...

I mean, sure, you can talk about immersion and consistency, but to go on a rant about how annoying kids deserve to be raped and enslaved and such and add the headline "I WANNA KILL CHILDREN" to all of that... that's probably a thread I wanna stay out of.

Edit: I knew it reminded me of something: http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/columns/extra-punctuation/9246-What-Is-the-Matter-with-You-People

 

[mattaui]

Go play some Dead Space. You'll see what I mean.

 

[Jadedvet]

The title is flame bait but I agree with much of what the OP said. Children in general are written poorly and their invincibility is immersion breaking.

Now, If children were made killable, that doesn't mean I would actually want to hurt them - except for those two in Skyrim... A mild beating might be in order.