How about...
Dual-triple-chainguns (A la' KOS-MOS) that shoot (Homing!)rounds tipped with the chin of Jay Leno.
"And welcome to the tonight show, say hello to your host, Jay leno!"
"Thanks Ray, I have something from my garage to show you folks tonight. I call it the Cathartinator."
"OH MAH JEESUS WHAT IS HE HOLDING!?!?!!"