If above user's avatar showed up on your doorstep...

[TheDoctor455]

Hello... anything I can help you with?

 

[scorptatious]

Hi, you want me to read your fortune?

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

Most likely.
Edit: I don't let ninjas into my house.

 

[scorptatious]

Ninja'd by 6 minutes? WOW.

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

Must not have been paying attention...
Actually, I WASN'T paying attention.

Now wonder...

 

[xmbts]

Come in, we need new Guinea pigs.

 

[TheDoctor455]

Hi, you want me to read your fortune?

No. I already know what it is: you will die over and over and over and over and over and over again.

OT:
Yes... well... since I am not a test subject for once, I feel good about working with xmbts on this experiment, so... *pushes a button marked "GlaDOS".*

 

[AwesomeExpress]

You're selling GlaDOS? Alright, I'll take one.

 

[xmbts]

Spoiler: Why do I feel the need to hang from the ceiling and be evil?

Well you've found me, but despite you're violent behavior all you've managed to break so far...is my heart.

 

[AwesomeExpress]

You're selling entertainment systems? I could use a new one of those..

 

[xmbts]

I wouldn't exactly call it an entertainment system.

 

[TheDoctor455]

Join me, and together we can kill the God-Emperor and... and... I hadn't thought about it much beyond that point... we could... we could kill some sand people after that.

Yes... I like that part... let's kill some sand people right now in fact... yes... they must be working with the Rebellion.

 

[xmbts]

Answer: I don't take offers from meatbags.

 

[TheDoctor455]

But I am Revan's descendant.

 

[xmbts]

But I have free will...you can blame yourself for that.

 

[TheDoctor455]

You will be well compensated for your services.

 

[xmbts]

Well she should be fairly rich, What can you offer.

 

[TheDoctor455]

For a pledge of loyalty to me, I could make you an admiral, a governor, or my secret apprentice... to replace my other... much dumber secret apprentice.

 

[xmbts]

Sounds like alot of work, compared to shooting down the occasional idiot pirate.

 

[Xpwn3ntial]

Thank you. You have found my hat.