If above user's avatar showed up on your doorstep...

[Timotei]

I'd do a barrel roll.

 

[Zeromaeus]

Why are you doing that on my doorstep? You'll catch pneumonia. Go home crazy neighbor girl.

 

[AgDr_ODST]

you'd turn down the anime girl. Get lost pal

 

[Timotei]

I'd suicide sticky them and armor lock before it explodes.

 

[Sacman]

I would open the door while wearing my bear suit...

 

[Zeromaeus]

-bear alert-
I would look out the window of my manor to see a person in a bear suit standing over a naked girl and do what any good mage would do. Set the "bear" on fire.

 

[Sacman]

You can not stop the bear suit...

Spoiler

 

[Timotei]

I'll alert Stephen Colbert.

 

[Zeromaeus]

-picks up phone-
"Hey Cloud, there's a guy here in a bear suit. Please handle it."
-Cloud shows up-

Spoiler: Cloud

-problem solved-

 

[Timotei]

I'd ninja them again.

 

[AgDr_ODST]

I'd keep the [meathead] overly large version of cloud away from you

 

[Sacman]

Tie them up in my basement next to the gimp... the same thing I do with all of my visitors...

 

[Zeromaeus]

...
I dont know anymore.

 

[Timotei]

I'd welcome them into my secret closet from which visitors never return...

 

[Sacman]

I would take them to Narnia...

 

[Timotei]

I'd make them watch Star Wars Episode 2: Attack of the Clones.

 

[Zeromaeus]

-gets dangerously close to stabbing myself in the eyes-
-leaves-
-goes back to manor-
-seals door-
-hides in bathroom-
Such horrendous torture...

 

[Timotei]

Stand there and lets them torture themselves.

 

[Sacman]

Make them play Big Rigs Off Road racing...

 

[Timotei]

Show them where Ol' Yeller is.