If Anime Cliches Happened In The Real World

[game-lover]

Damn... everyone got most of the good ones... Let's see:

-The angrier you get, the more angry, throbbing veins will pop up on your body. Generally on your face. Said veins will also usually appear the harder you clench your fists when very angry.

-Also, at times in your anger, one will get the following available: the ability to breathe fire with glowing red eyes, extra sharp teeth, or become incredibly huge in proportion to those you feel the need to yell at.

-People will be able to endure various injuries with a quick recovery depending on the situations. Electrocuted or burned? Just get a little covered in soot or ash for a moment then you'll be fine. Get hit hard in the head? A huge gigantic lump pokes out of said area, sometimes with a bandage on it for a moment or so and then poof, all better.

-Crying for reasons not dealing with grief or other immense sadness will always be in two forms: either as huge friggin' geysers that come out of the sides of the eyes or long waves that stream down your face.

-When a person gets knocked out cold, you will not just see their eyes close. No... you will see their eyes become like little spirals going around and around and around.

-Need to wake a person who is sleeping deeply? Easy! Just find their little sleep/drool bubble and give it a good pop. The person will awaken instantly.

 

[Terminate421]

Any actions involved would come with some sort of fancy/painted/effects/screensaver-esque background:

(Looks at the backgrounds)

 

[soren7550]

Ok, I don't watch all that much anime, and I'm gonna try my best to not repeat what others have said, so here we go:

- The schoolgirls with the DD chests and stick bodies will either be woefully ditzy or be very serious, but either way they'll be mostly unaware of their massive titays.

- Most mortal wounds won't be very life threatening, no matter how many you sustain.

- In between any important/memorable/etc. moments in your life will be filled with boring ass, very forgettable filler arcs that will contribute absolutely nothing to the important bits, nor will it ever be mentioned again.

 

[triggrhappy94]

It would be normal for women to wear clothing that predominantly shows off their ass. (I'm looking at you Code Geass).
EDIT:
The next new person you meet will be the biggest badass to ever badass past the badass parlor, at least since the last person you've met. This is probably the most annoying part of shonen anime. You shouldn't have to over-inflate every character just to keep me interested.

 

[knight steel]

People over the age of 25 will cease to play a prominent role in international politics or national security, the most pivotal jobs being entrusted to 15 year olds.

Casual sex with minors and step-sisters is not only tolerated, but entirely necessary.

Attractive women will find themselves unspeakably gathering around the same bland, socially awkward teenage boys.

Conversations consist of constant exposition, prompted by someone who repeats back the last words being said.
"What you don't know is that there is a secret society of vampires."
-"Vampires?"
"Yes. They guard the night against demons, whilst occasonally having to drink blood."
-"Drink blood?"
"Absolutely. It provides them with the life force, and without that life force they would die. So they must drink the DNA from blood. Like your blood.
-"My blood?"

etc.

That......SOUNDS........AWESOME!!!
If only real life was like that I wouldn't be so lonely
Also these songs are relevant to this thread:

 

[StormShaun]

Well lets see.

- All men would spill ponds of blood out of their nose each time they get turned on.
- Everyone would wield giant swords/guns/whatever weapon you want.
- Most battles would destroy towns/cities/worlds.
- There shall be 18 year olds that look 12 and 12 year olds that look 18.
- Less clothing equals more armor.
- Giant breasts will bend in the weirdest ways. (Look at High School of the dead)
- Traps... lots of traps.
- Lovely school rooftops.
- Lots of Japanese food. (yay~)
- There will always be THAT guy who attracts all the women. (Even if he is not the pro-tag)

The most obvious one.

- Weird shit will happen everyday.

We each have a giant list... but here are a few.

 

[Korenith]

No matter how strong or powerful a male is he will always be able to be beaten within an inch of his life by a female friend who gets angry very easily but will miraculously heal two seconds later

 

[Asuka Soryu]

All men who view porn on the internet will die from massive blood loss.

 

[Hyenatempest]

Republicans would have a reason to hate gays

 

[blackrave]

MECHS! MECHS TO EVERYONE!!!
All female armor will be as skimpy as possible
All burly men with short hair/shaved head will be evil/bad
Breasts will increase twice (size, not amount, you moron!)
Eyes will increase twice
Bullets will become as effective as snowballs
All females wearing skirts will have tendency to trip and fall with open legs.

 

[Hagi]

All high school female uniforms will be designed for maximum panty exposure.

Lost toddlers and babies will instantly be adopted by passing teenage couples and form intense emotional bonds in a few hours.

The military's most elite squadron is entirely composed of 12-year old girls.

 

[likalaruku]

1)It will be mandated by law that participants of any sport loudly shout the name of the move they're about to make.

2)All redheads are bitches.

3)Breasts defy gravity & are roughly skull-sized, but tiny flat pancake asses & size 4 feet are the new sexy.

4)Dull looking wimpy men will always have women fighting over them. & average girls will always be surrounded my men much prettier than herself whom all want to marry her.

5)Fat people & bras are myths.

6)All best friends will be presumed gay.

7)Who needs cars when you can just run?

8)Breakfast is that piece of toast you ran out the door with.

9)It's okay if school uniforms show panties.

10)All women speak multiple languages. When they speak Japanese their voices will be shrill & childish, but when they speak English their voices will be deep, melodramatic, & unconvincing.

11)Books weigh as much as machinery, but weapons half your size weight as much as paper.

12)Downtown areas are reserved for arena style combat for magic users.

13)Yanderes are above the law.

14)Groups of 4 are ill omens. Trouble & curses follow people who travel in 4s & those they meet.

 

[Vhite]

I would probably commit suicide. These repetitive cliches really make me dislike any anime I attempt to watch lately because 40% of time is being spent on stupid bullshit seen in EVERY OTHER ANIME EVER. Tsunderelas have to be explicitly tsun, losers have to be shown to fail at everything, monologues have to be long and pretentious and so on. Can't they be more subtle and not repeat themselves? I feel like mentally impaired whenever I try to watch something.

 

[mrhappy1489]

Most people will become increasingly paranoid, as most if not all people will have secret agendas/flaws/unnoticed superhuman abilities which often appear at the most inopportune moments.

Bipolar will also run rampant, as evidence by constant changes from excessive elation to intense depression within moments, if not seconds.

Unless raining or in the presence of water, hair will not change shape unless intense emotion is felt.

Mundane activities, such as card games and roller blade will somehow have grave impacts on certain communities or the world.

 

[snowpuppy]

Chess pieces, chess pieces everywhere.

 

[zidine100]

every argument will be solved with a children's card game...

NO EXCEPTIONS!

 

[Angie7F]

Everyone has really cute childhood friends that actually really like them but you just dont realise.
Also the class leader at school is really smart but sometimes a clutz but only you will know about it.

That. and a few cyborgs and aliends in your class. Usually they are female with short hair.

 

[Talaris]

- IQs will drop everywhere, as everyone will spell out exactly what they are thinking or expository dialogue whenever they get the chance.

- The younger you are, the more educated you are (see Azumanga Diaoh, Eden of the East).

- Cicada's will be chirping everywhere, ALL THE TIME.

- Scrawny teenagers have a higher tolerance of pain and probability of survival than the most experienced and tough men.

 

[MeChaNiZ3D]

The weather should change to reflect the mood of individuals or groups, but only in the vicinty of said individuals or groups.

Teenage girls, particularly in highschool, will gain powers, magical or otherwise, beyond human ability and will be inexplicably good at using them. Second most powerful are orphan boys, in some cases surpassing the teenage girls and often playing a more crucial and serious role in the universe.

Weapon weight is capped at 4kg, meaning any heavier weapon may be wielded as if at this weight without compromising size or strength. Similarly, any size of object is easily concealed in a pocket or coat, or anywhere else invisible relative to the observer.

Ammo for guns comes in indeterminate clips that run out only when the user wishes to reload, or when something intends to take advantage of the vulnerability created by reloading.

Every person has an individualised fetch quest, consisting of either a small number of important items or 108 seperate weaker items, that will hone their skills.

Collectibles and toys contain massive hidden power and the world erupts in conflict between these toys as to which will be the designated world sport.

Natural hair colours now encompass every possible colour, and although it can be hereditary, it is not dependant on genes entirely. Strands should be unnaturally large, in some cases becoming flaps, and may be transparent.

Supernatural powers may be obtained temporarily by invoking friendship, when near death, when facing an insurmountable enemy, or by screaming very loudly. Note that there are infinite tiers of these powers which can be obtained by combining circumstances or by meeting the requirements to extreme degrees.

When astonished, people will faceplant into the ground with their body remaining perpendicular, limbs at odd angles, effective as soon as the astonishment is conveyed.

All emotions should have blatant physical clues outside of the body.

People of Asian heritage occasionally are born with a trivial genetic disease that prevents them from ever opening their eyes, despite having working eyelids. Sight is not effected.

 

[Shoggoth2588]

1) Massive dehydration epidemics hit as sweatdrops and manly tears abound.

Not to mention the number of nose-bleeds young males get by merely glancing at cleavage.

---

It would be considered perfectly normal for a young male to live alone in a house with 5 to 8 young females who are close enough to his age to date him...except for the one who is a 10 to 12 year old. Bottom line: it'll be perfectly fine and acceptable; even when he ends up naked in the bath room while they too are in the bathroom...bathing...it's alright though because he will likely faint from a heavy nosebleed.