If EA took over *blank*

[Alternative]

EA takes over Game Freak and start working on Pokemon.

You get your Starter pokemon for free and the first 30 of the pokedex, then have to pay an extra 20 dollars to unlock the rest of your pokedex, with the option to purchase Legendaries for 10 dollars each regardless of location in the game.

Instead of capturing pokemon in turn-based battles, you run from cover to cover and hit them with the 'poke-cannon' until they have no HP, at which point they are automatically captured.

And finally, instead of two 10 year old kids, the male character is a 35 year old veteran of the Poke-Wars with the emotional range of a stone and the female character is a 22 year old with a pair of Double-Ds and 15 different customizable skimpy outfits. While male children are still encountered, all females in game are 18-26ish, sexy and inexplicably attracted to both protagonists.

there are also 4 versions of pokemon released a year, also yearly releases.

 

[DoPo]

No I shall not capitalize the word god. Honestly if you really believe the homosexuality was shoved in your face in me3, you really are retarded, and are holding back the human race, and as such should be removed.

Funny you say that, because yours are the only posts I reported.

OT: I thought of another one, not as much of an apocalypse scenario but still: EA takes over Ubisoft. Now you have to pay to play your games. You will purchase the game, and then you'll purchase vouchers to play them for a limited time. Later on, the EAbisoft will release their own console that plays all their games but is coin operated, and you only buy coins from them. Also, it has three factor authentication, to prevent piracy.

 

[joonsk]

Snip

I disagree. When you meet Cortez he tells you that he lost his husband. That's it. If it were a straight dude he would have sqaid that he lost his wife. I am actually quite happy with what Bioware did with that. A lot of movies, games and comics, gay personages have one character trait, being gay, that annoys me, even though I am straight.

Hell, have you played DA:O, remember that dude named Zevran (I think that was his name), he was much worse than Traynor or Cortez.

 

[Shocksplicer]

Don't you worry about Blank. Let me worry about Blank.

But seriously, EA takes over the Coca Cola company. EA quickly realises that Coca Cola is the most popular brand owned by the company. In order to maximise profits, they take all other products owned by the company, such as Powerade, Fanta, Lift etc and make them the exact same.

When this plan fails spectacularly, EA is confused by this developement and decides that the best course of action is to discontinue production of all products apart from Coca Cola.

 

[Vault101]

Make them normal people who just happen to be gay. That's it.

thats funny....because that's pretty much what I thought they were (and even if they faild it was biowares intention). I fail to see how "I had a husband" is putting ones gayness as their one and only identity....

did we even play the same game?

[quote/]
But they were. I haven't seen a single good character in a Bioware game since fucking ages. Everyone, regardless of sexual orientation, is a wandering cliche. Mass Effect was endearing because of it's world, not the characters inhabiting it.[/quote]
hmmm...well that explains a bit...

anyway, Traynor, gay sterotype?....she doesn't hate men, she doesn't talk about feminism, no shaved head....nothing to indicate she is gay untill the shower scene..

Cortez?....he's not camp, doesn't have any interests associated with gay men...says he had a husband but that's pretty much it

[quote/]
I just did, actually. If you can't remember, play ME3 again, although if you don't want to sit through the lackluster shooting and dialog again that's understandable.[/quote]

gay couple conversation in the citadel?....I may have missed it but I honestly can't remember

 

[Vault101]

Hell, have you played DA:O, remember that dude named Zevran (I think that was his name), he was much worse than Traynor or Cortez.

that's kind of funny..I played as a female and I actually had no Idea Zevran liked men untill I read it on the internet..I just took him as a womaniser

 

[Shocksplicer]

No I shall not capitalize the word god. Honestly if you really believe the homosexuality was shoved in your face in me3, you really are retarded, and are holding back the human race, and as such should be removed.

Funny you say that, because yours are the only posts I reported.

OT: I thought of another one, not as much of an apocalypse scenario but still: EA takes over Ubisoft. Now you have to pay to play your games. You will purchase the game, and then you'll purchase vouchers to play them for a limited time. Later on, the EAbisoft will release their own console that plays all their games but is coin operated, and you only buy coins from them. Also, it has three factor authentication, to prevent piracy.

When somebody's first ever post recieves a warning, you know they probably won't be around for long...

Captcha: agree to disagree.
He couldn't...

 

[Alternative]

So the question is, where is all this extra development going? It's not going into the characters, it's no going into graphics, it's obviously not going into the gameplay (I mean ffs, you shoot the same 4 types of enemies all game)...

They had 2 years to work on Mass Effect 3, and a big budget, and yet they continue to ignore the massive issues that plague almost every aspect of their games, the most prominent being one dimensional characters.

Multiplayer and DLC, it is an EA published game after all.

 

[Sean Hollyman]

If EA took over Gamefreak

The same Pokemon game released every year, but with a few minor changes, such as different characters, Pokemon, and region. There would be a spinoff sometimes, and fans would buy it every year, regardless. People would complain that the only good one was the first one, while disregarding all newer ones.

 

[Tiddles]

EA takes over SquareEnix

Final Fantasy - Now with unexpected crashes and bugs! But you get a new game every year of drastically decreasing quality and MORE cutscenes. Also Final Fantasy VII is re-released and is crap.
Dragon Quest - New "exciting" art style! Totally photo realistic.
The Mana games - Now with online multiplayer.
Kingdom Hearts - Sora becomes an adult and Mickey mouse takes over as the main protagonist
Just Cause 3 - Now with more story and character development.
Kayne and Lynch - Actually not any worse under EA.
Thief 4 - Now with more action oriented gameplay.

Edit: I guess I should clarify that I see EA as a publisher that misses the point with its franchises. Also Square as another publisher didn't develop all the games in my list but it still had input as the publisher.

 

[idarkphoenixi]

EA takes over portal

Portal gun gets swapped for an M16 that can only shoot portals once you kill enough people with it.

Also, knowing the loyalty of portal fans it comes shipped with 25 pieces of day one DLC.

The game itself it about 20minutes long after having extra content carved out of it like so many halloween pumpkins.

 

[Vault101]

My problem with Cortez is him being gay is his only real personality trait. Him being gay is what people remember him by. That's exactly what I'm talking about when I say it's being shoved in your face, or that Bioware characters are terrible. They are all one dimensional husks with a single cliche separating them from everyone else. Cortez is gay,

He's also the shuttle Pilot, and greiving for a death of his loved one I guess
[quote/]Jacob is black,[/quote]
no, Jacob is bland..hence why no one likes Jacob

[quote/]Jack is an angsty teenagers, [/quote]
understatement...she's a psycho (for good reason)....but she works out in the end (I liked the direction her charachter took)


[quote/]1) No one is there for the gameplay anyway. You'd be hard pressed to find someone who plays ME for the shooting bits. Close to everyone is there for the juicy conversations and story. [/quote]
except the first one I enjoyed the fuck out of the shooting...so I guess I'm just strange...along with all those other people playing multilayer


anyway..I'm not here to debate how great/awful ME3 was...I'm done with that headache, lets just say your right and ME3 was fucking awful and I am a dumbfan for liking

there you go, congratulations

I'm just soo fucking tired....

 

[Alternative]

if Ea took over 22cans (molyneux's newest company)

on a yearly basis a new game in the series is release, each one is promiced to give the player greater control and customization then ever before. Game fails to live upto hype and is riddled with bugs,contains area's blocked off unless the DLC has been purchased nd performs mediocore at best.

however a sequel is already planned at release, Molyneux defends the game no matter what.

 

[GreyJedi]

My problem with Cortez is him being gay is his only real personality trait. Him being gay is what people remember him by. That's exactly what I'm talking about when I say it's being shoved in your face, or that Bioware characters are terrible. They are all one dimensional husks with a single cliche separating them from everyone else. Cortez is gay,

He's also the shuttle Pilot, and greiving for a death of his loved one I guess
[quote/]Jacob is black,

no, Jacob is bland..hence why no one likes Jacob
[/quote]
Technically, Jacob was a story tool for new players, but I get where you're going with this.

I can kind of "get" what Smash is saying about the characters being rather one-sided... But I really don't see how this applies to every character in ME3 (or, even worse, every character they've ever made.) I did get the impression that the characters have a decent personality and some amount of character development/growth, even. So yes, some of the characters they threw in at the end were a little bland (i.e.: Jacob), but to claim that this applies to all of them is a gross exaggeration, I believe.

 

[Sean Hollyman]

If EA took over Gamefreak

The same Pokemon game released every year, but with a few minor changes, such as different characters, Pokemon, and region. There would be a spinoff sometimes, and fans would buy it every year, regardless. People would complain that the only good one was the first one, while disregarding all newer ones.

Spoiler: I see what you did there

But hey, we're actually getting a sequel this year, which is a first by pokemon standards.

...It's different and it scares me, I don't like it.

It's not the first sequel, Pokemon XD was awesome...

And from what I've seen, Black and White 2 has a fuckload of content in it.