If game characters used Twitter.

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SimuLord

Whom Gods Annoy
Aug 20, 2008
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I had an idea for a little Twitter project but I'm pretty sure some game company would get a bug up its butt about copyright if I actually tried it, namely creating a Twitter account/profile/blog and posting entirely in-character as a game character during a playthrough (and it will surprise nobody to learn I came up with the idea whilst in the shower.)

Sample tweets:
From Oblivion:

Guards everywhere...like old Tex Avery toon with Cecil Turtle and Bugs Bunny.
Oblivion gates open left and right and always when I've done something nice for Martin.
Did it snow or is this an Argonian latrine?

From Mount&Blade:
Where did my guys find money for new armor at promotion? I didn't buy it...
1000 denars for a cow? Damn war parties!
I told Matheld fighting unarmored was "warrior's way." She's got nice boobs.
Snowing in Khudan again. It's July, for gods' sakes!

From Morrowind:
I wonder what would happen if I just stabbed Vivec with this katana.
Listen lady, this ain't the diamond I stole. It's one I found!
Maurrie, just standing there won't bring Nelos back. It'll just get you robbed again.
What this island needs is a fucking air force.

From The Sims 2: (at least in my neighborhood):
There is a God and he does set people on fire. I'm scared shitless.
I finished college years ago! Why's this llama in my house?
$5200 for a restored car? What the fuck am I working a job for?
I'd hit that...and her sister...and her daughter...and her girlfriend?

To paraphrase the old Wall Street Journal ad slogan: "An economy of characters. A wealth of potential comedy." I know most Escapists are way funnier and more insightful than I am, so go!
 

DueAccident

New member
Apr 13, 2009
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Mario;
Sigh...That fking Princess wasn't there, yet again. Next agonisingly horrific castle it is then..
 

Fraught

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Aug 2, 2008
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From GTA IV:
Today, my cousin Roman called me to ask me if I wanted to go bowling.

50 times...
 

shotfun9

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Jun 19, 2008
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Burnout Paradise:
Lol guys, tweeting just as I'm cleaning up this race, nothing's gonna stop m
 

DueAccident

New member
Apr 13, 2009
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Dom;
I miss Maria...

Dom;
I still really miss her...

Dom;
Today I thought I saw Maria. It was just Baird...
 

Jandau

Smug Platypus
Dec 19, 2008
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DueAccident said:
Dom;
I miss Maria...

Dom;
I still really miss her...

Dom;
Today I thought I saw Maria. It was just Baird...
Dom;

Today I thought I saw Maria again, only naked, so I jumped her bones. It was just Baird again...
 

Ranooth

BEHIND YOU!!
Mar 26, 2008
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Link
.................................................

Gordon Freeman
...............................................
 

curlycrouton

New member
Jul 13, 2008
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Oblivion Guard:
Mudcrabs are very fierce. I've never fought anyone quite as fierce.

Big Daddy:
Little bloody girls following me everywhere. I look like a child molester.

Cpt. Price:
Stopped another nuke exploding, killed hundreds. Boring.

Marcus Fenix:
HAHW I CAN TIEP ON A KEEBORED HURHUR i hav reli bigg musles LOL!1
 

DueAccident

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Apr 13, 2009
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Jandau said:
DueAccident said:
Dom;
I miss Maria...

Dom;
I still really miss her...

Dom;
Today I thought I saw Maria. It was just Baird...
Dom;

Today I thought I saw Maria again, only naked, so I jumped her bones. It was just Baird again...
Dom;
Today I thought I saw Maria yet again. Jumped her bones, again. This time...It was Cole.

Cole;
The Cole train is a smooooooth ride, baby.

Dom;
Good god, what have I done...Hold on, I think I see Maria for real this time..
 

Fraught

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Aug 2, 2008
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Vault boy Eddie said:
If game characters used twitter they would fail at life like all the real people that use it.
Har, har, har, you're a VERY funny man, Eddie.
 

lightingbird

New member
Dec 4, 2008
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Hahahaah this is great!

GTA4 Cops:

So I just left a firefight against one guy who killed 40 cops, blew up 6 choppers, and tons of innocent. To hell with this city
 

konkwastaken

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Jan 16, 2009
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Ranooth said:
Link
.................................................

Gordon Freeman
...............................................
Correction!

Link
.....................HEH.........HUYAH
 

TheTemby

New member
May 29, 2008
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these sort of posts get harder and harder, all the cool characters are ether mute (gordon freeman) or nameless and voiceless (bioshock guy) OR has custom names and no personality (Fallout 3)
0.o
 

josh797

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Nov 20, 2007
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zoe from l4d:

man things just go from bad to worse. first i get zombies, now all the guys are staring at me like im the last girl on earth.....shit.....