If game characters used Twitter.

[Aries_Split]

Metal Gear Guard:

Felt large force to the back of head before falling down. I must have imagin-
brb, footprints in snow, gotta check it out.

 

[Abedeus]

Orc Warboss:

WAAAGH!! We'z da strongest on da Intanetz!! I'MA CHOPPA YOU GUD!! *khssshhhhzzz*

Ghoul:

I wish they've saved TV. God, how I miss TV.

 

[Ramthundar]

Fallout 3:

Just finished another S-M hole. Had all my limbs blown off, was hard as hell to use stimpacks on them. Probably should of done my arms first before my legs.
Anyway, got like 19 bottle-caps and some energy-gun ammo. F*ing reward system.

 

[Woe Is You]

M. Bison from Street Fighter. [http://twitter.com/melvinbison]

 

[PhoenixFlame]

RandomNinja5324: Hmm. Feels like I woke up from a dream. How long was I out? Oh well.
RandomNinja5324: Sitting behind this panel, waiting for that Hayabusa guy.
RandomNinja5324: Gosh, it's cramped in here. I need to talk to the ninja union about better accomodations.
RandomNinja5324: @RandomNinja5433 Seriously, if you're going to let one rip, please wait until we're actually outside.
RandomNinja5324: RT @RandomNinja1257 Wait for the camera angle to change before you leap out. You might actually get one or two shots in.
RandomNinja5324: Here he comes. Wish me luck, mom!
*10 seconds later*
RandomNinja5324: Hmm. Feels like I woke up from a dream. How long was I out? Oh well....


Inspired by Penny Arcade:
http://www.penny-arcade.com/images/2004/20040220l.jpg

 

[matsugawa]

Squall: Man, I kicked Seifer's ass!
Seifer: Man, I kicked Squall's ass!
Raijin: Man, Seifer totally kicked that Squall guy's ass!
Fujin: ASS!

 

[Xvito]

Umm... What's Twitter?

 

[Jack and Calumon]

Gordon freeman:

...

Overdone yes but meh.

Sackboy: Played ANOTHER mario remake today.

Sackboy: You know, being a crossdressing Irishman just isn't in Fashion anymore. I need a change.

Sackboy: I died, but then I came back to life through this door. I'm Scared.

 

[Zombie_Fish]

Bowser in Super Mario Brothers:

Oh crap! Why do I keep on forgetting to put away that fking axe!

 

[SimuLord]

My small forward in ESPN College Hoops 2K5:

Center went for 60. I got four points on three shots. Get me the fking ball!

My sim's dog:

Why must I be like that, why must I chase the cat? Nothin' but the dog in me.

 

[Fablaam]

Master Chief

Just got back from the movies with the Arbiter.
Don't judge me.

 

[Sable Gear]

Master Chief

Just got back from the movies with the Arbiter.
Don't judge me.

Arbiter:

Just got back from the movies with MC. Kept trying to put his arm around me or something. Weird. I gots popcorn though ^^

 

[new_age_reject]

Mario:
All I ever wanted to do is fix pipes ;_;

 

[lacktheknack]

Splinter Cell: The Twitter alert goes off as he sneaks up on someone. INVARIABLY.

 

[aciid_raiin]

MGS
Col. - "Snaaaake!"

 

[MaxFan]

Sam [http://twitter.com/justplainsam] & Max [http://twitter.com/presidentmax]

 

[Yegargeburble]

My Farcry 2 character:

Attacked by people in cars. This may be dangerous.

Attacked by more people in cars. They like cars, I guess.

Why do they keep attacking with cars?!

 

[Blind0bserver]

From Black and White:
Today, creature pooped on house, ate daughter.

Our god is angry. His temple is huge and red and spiky. Creature pooped on house again.

Son was repeatedly thrown against house today. House broken - son dead.

You essentially just described every instance that I have ever played that game. Ever.