If game characters used Twitter.

[Twilight_guy]

Link: Wrote an epic ballad about my last adventure. Shared it with Crono and Gordon. Nobody else listened to me. Why does nobody ever let me talk? Crono liked the sword fights, Gordon rambled about Physics again.

Engineer: Wrenched a spy sappin' my sentry today. It got sapped again five minutes later. I borrowed one of the pyro's outfits and nobody bothered me again. It smelt like burnt squirrel.

Gordon Freeman: Solved that puzzle on the relationship of cronotons and gravitons in a void that I was working on. Also, while I was thinking of it I killed a small army of soldiers and blew up a building.

Sonic: They want to put me in another game again. I'm so tired, so very tired...

 

[edinflames]

From Half-Life 2, Alyx's tweet:
I wish Gordon would just say it...

From Gears of War, Dom's tweet
I've been watching over Marcus's ass for some time now and I don't think I ever want to find my wife.

 

[Sewblon]

Sims 2. "I had sex for the 7nth time today, now I am drowning in a pool with 3 diving boards but no latter." Jack from Madworld "placed man in garbage can, impaled him with stop sign, placed him on spike, have to go home and watch Project Runway." Left 4 Dead, Bill "The witch killed me and now I am in a closet for some reason. They finished without me"

 

[DYin01]

Murloc from Wow:
Mgrlmrlgmrlmglrblrmg!

Translation:
Today, some guy ravaged my camp. I wanted to attack him, but he was an inch too far away.

 

[IsoNeko]

http://www.2pstart.com/

 

[irrelevantnugget]

Leon Scott Kennedy: "Wait, does Salazar's right hand actually come off now or something?"

 

[Xvito]

Umm... What's Twitter?

Twitter's kind of hard to describe. Most people will tell you that Twitter is what happens when you take the Status Message section of Facebook, and build a whole website out of it. But if that's still a bit vague, it's basically the world's most meat-and-potatoes 'blogging service. You submit entries just like anywhere else, only you're limited to 160 characters, and submit primarily from your mobile phone as a text message.

That sounds like society's downfall to me...

 

[Sir Pysco Sexy]

TF2

Heavy: Scout take sandvich! MAKE BABY KILL!

 

[fletch_talon]

Guybrush1990
Does that monkey have three heads???

Mario
@Peach: How about I come and check out your pipes.

Mario
@Peach: Seriously though, you have fungus growing down there.

 

[Elurindel]

Gordon Freeman:

...

ok, we get the joke, this is the first page and i have already seen this one three times, allow me to freshen it up a little. remember, this is twitter and Gordon doesn't speak, yet we know that as a scientist he can write (or type)*coughing-clears throat* Ahem

Gordon Freeman
Day 1: Today I went for a ride with the g-man.
Day 2: Not sure how it happened but tomorrow is when i go for a ride with the g-man.

ok, the joke has been killed, alright? it really annoying when people, instead of reading through posts, decide to do the same joke that would be expected more than once, thus perpetuating the cycle.

I didn't see those first two, sorry. I should have expected it.

 

[matsugawa]

Umm... What's Twitter?

Twitter's kind of hard to describe. Most people will tell you that Twitter is what happens when you take the Status Message section of Facebook, and build a whole website out of it. But if that's still a bit vague, it's basically the world's most meat-and-potatoes 'blogging service. You submit entries just like anywhere else, only you're limited to 160 characters, and submit primarily from your mobile phone as a text message.

That sounds like society's downfall to me...

You don't know the half of it.

 

[LockHeart]

Minsc106: Boo went for the eyes, was not pretty.

 

[balimuzz]

Commander Shepard: geths r invadin teh universe...o noes!!!

EDIT: also, there actually is a master chief twitter. check it out, it's hilarious: http://twitter.com/MasterChief_117

 

[Scunner]

From Half-Life 2, Alyx's tweet:
I wish Gordon would just say it...

@Alyx: Ok Alyx, I want to be on you.

 

[Honsy]

Original_PoP: Jumped across room. Shadow bastard closed gate.
Original_PoP: Falling
Original_PoP: Falling
Original_PoP: Missed ledge. Died
Original_PoP: Falling again
Original_PoP: Caught ledge. broke fingers.
Original_PoP: Ran out of time. Damn hourglasses.

 

[Aegwadar]

Randomzombie24003: Grrrghghhhh!!
Louis
@Zoey: Damn baby... Looking good with those pistols...
Bill: If I were 20 years younger....
Zoey: How did I end up with three men... If this were a party I would leave... gah...
Francis: This place needs some booze...

 

[Sprogus]

FrankWest: I've covered wars you know.

 

[DM.]

FrankWest: I've covered wars you know.

DAMNIT YOU BEAT ME TO IT.

 

[terribleyetfun]

duke nukem:
just killed an alien today but did`nt dispense a one liner weird.