If Jesus hated Christmas, would you still celebrate it?

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AngryMongoose

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Jan 18, 2010
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If I suddenly felt absolutely certain that Jesus was real, I'd re-evaluate MANY of my approaches to love; I'd tidy my room, for example. If the reason for his return was to inform everyone how much Christmas sucked then sure, I'd probably stop celebrating it.
 

Twilight_guy

Sight, Sound, and Mind
Nov 24, 2008
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Well first of all, that's not Jesus. Jesus doesn't dismiss a holy day because of people doing the 'wrong thing' on it. He points out its wrong and says the right thing to do. I'm not going to anything that 'not Jesus' says because he's being a dick.
 

Shoggoth2588

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Aug 31, 2009
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I really wouldn't say I celebrate Christmas...I give gifts and assure my friends and family I'm alive but I haven't preyed once since I was forced to as a child that one time I was taken to church. I don't see my December 25th's changing at all and honestly when I talk to friends about Christmas, I refer it the day as X-Mans. Then again, none of my friends are really religious or into X-Men...I feel like I wanted to say more about this but I guess not.
 

Moderated

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May 12, 2012
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If Jesus returned, and proved the Christian faith, who gives a fuck about Christmas?
A fucking religion was just proved right! This topic doesn't matter, because if it happened it wouldn't be the main issue.
 

Zantos

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Jan 5, 2011
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Berithil said:
I'm a Christian, and I would celebrate Christmas even without the Christian connotations. Heck, I enjoy the early germanic/yule traditions just as much, maybe more (*guilty look*) than the Christian traditions, especially considering that most of our traditions are indeed Yuletide traditions.

Though if Jesus came back, as someone already said, I think he would be a bit busy bringing about the end of the world to bother about a holiday.
Does roasting sweets over a candle in an orange count as a Christian tradition? Because that is a difficult one to beat. I don't think it's original purpose was for children to consume molten fruit pastilles.

OT: Yeah, totally would carry on celebrating. I wouldn't go as far as calling it that thing that some people I know insist on calling it in order to remove the religious connotations, but that's more because I don't like them than the actual concept.
 

Mau95

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Nov 11, 2011
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Vault101 said:
I'd be asking jesus alot more than his opinion on chrsitmas

like OH MY GOD WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!? and IS IT ALL TRUE!!??

people also seem to think christmas is a christian thing..sorry to break it to you but its about as secular as 4th of july thease days
Never once in my life have I celebrated the 4th of July nor do I know anyone that does.
 

Mau95

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Nov 11, 2011
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Batsamaritan said:
I'd ask jesus what his REAL birthday was so christians could celebrate then, rather than the fake birthday on the celebration of winter solstice that was nicked from the pagans and co-opted into christian dogma, so people could go on selling chintzy crap without guilt
It was approximately march 6 B.C. or at least so I've been fold.
 

keinsignal

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Oct 22, 2007
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I have never understood where the idea that Jesus' birth was "really" in April (or whenever) came from. I've heard people say that it has something to do with the presence of shepherds in the tale, or some recorded celestial event that might have been the "star in the East", or the census taken by Augustus Caesar. None of these make sense to me, both for practical and historical reasons - shepherds herd sheep more-or-less throughout the grazing months, there is no specific, single astronomical event we can point to and say definitively "that's the star of Bethlehem" (moreover, stars and comets, in case you hadn't noticed, seldom hang over a single town), and a Roman census would typically take months or years to complete.

Here's the main thing though - there is no historical record of the birth of Jesus, period. There's only the Gospels, and they are demonstrably bad history. In fact, it's open to question whether there really ever was a historical Jesus at all!

In the most concrete terms, this much is certain: there was never a person named "Jesus" who was born a Jew and claimed to be the Messiah of Jewish prophecy... because "Jesus" is a Greek name, not a Hebrew one (his real name might have been something like "Yeshua"). That seems trivial, but it points to something important that must be remembered when reading the Gospels - the four books were all written by Greeks who lived and wrote long after Jesus' death, spoke no Hebrew or Aramaic, and whose understanding of Jewish scripture relied on oral transmission and translations of dubious quality*. In my opinion, these early Greek-speaking Christians are much like modern New Agers who pick up bits and pieces of ancient or foreign religions, astrology, quantum mechanics, et cetera, contort these source materials to fit their own ideas, and then try to form it all into a semi-coherent whole.

So the gospel versions of Jesus' birth are straight-up Origin Story, a naked attempt to cram multiple poorly-understood Old Testament prophecies into a single narrative in order to establish the Messiah's bona fides. The mistakes give the game away: Luke, for example, knows that Jesus was called "the Nazarene", and that he preached in Galilee, but he also is aware of a prophecy that the Messiah must be born in Bethlehem (possibly via reading Matthew) - so he writes of a Roman census which for some reason required people to return to their birthplaces to be counted. The census is real - he's explicitly referring to the Census of Quirinius (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Census_of_Quirinius), an infamous event to the Jews of the time - but the requirement to return to one's home town is 100% fiction. Why would the Romans care in which tiny village the peasants of some far-flung colony happened to be born, as opposed to where they lived and worked today? Furthermore, the timing contradicts Matthew's account - we know that King Herod died nine years prior to the census, and after the census Judea had no king at all, being under direct Roman rule. Herod, of course, is credited by Matthew with killing all the children of Bethlehem in an attempt to murder the infant King of the Jews - an event which no other records of the period (including the other three gospels) bother to mention.

The problems only get worse from there. Many people are aware that the origin of the "virgin birth" story probably stems from the mistranslation of a word in Isaiah that might better have been rendered "a young woman". That's just scratching the surface, though - turns out it's Chinese Whispers all the way down! "Bethlehem Ephratah" in the book of Micah is not a place, it is a tribe or clan (named after its patriarch). "Nazareth" was not a place, either**... A "Nazarene" was a member of a Jewish sect, similar to the Essenes whom you may have heard of. Matthew's account of Herod's slaughter and Jesus' family's flight into Egypt are also presented as fulfilling prophecy, but neither is actually a prophesied event - the phrase "I called my son out of Egypt" in Hosea is obviously referring to Moses' Exodus, and the slaughter of children in Jeremiah refers to the Babylonian captivity (see also: Psalm 137).

In short, the gospel accounts of Christmas are pure mythmaking, and without them, there is nothing to hang any speculation about Jesus' real birthdate on whatsoever - which, when you think about it, makes sense. If Jesus was a real person and had anything like the biography depicted in the Bible, he was more or less an ordinary, if outspoken, carpenter for his whole life prior to starting his ministry sometime in his thirties. Why would anybody have thought to record the details of his birth, at the time? And if signs and portents had made his divinity so obvious, why does nobody pay the slightest attention to him again for at least thirty years after the Magi showed up bearing gifts?

*FWIW, there are many serious Biblical scholars, including some skeptics, who argue that John may really have been one of the original disciples. However John, like Mark, doesn't talk about Jesus' birth, or his (human) life prior to his ministry at all.

**At least not at the time. A town of Nazareth first appears in the historical record around 300-400CE, and is a Christian settlement.
 

icythepenguin

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Jun 5, 2012
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I was never a fan of Christmas anyway. People faking happiness and good cheer once a year while fighting over the hottest toy of the year. Its rife with hypocrisy which was one of Jesus' complaints against Judaism leading to his creation of Christianity. The holiday was created to make it easier on the pagans as the church forcibly converted them. Frankly I think Jesus would be dealing with more important matters than Christmas if he ever came back. Like people misquoting him and his father, Israel/Palestine, donating all the churchs funds to the poor.
 

C F

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Jan 10, 2012
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The likelihood of this being a possibility upon the return of Jesus approaches zero the more I think about it, but I have to admit he DID get angry at the merchants peddling their wares in the temple so I'm going to keep an open mind.

Let's assume that A) He recognizes Christmas as a celebration of his birth ~2000 years ago (despite the fact reasonable arguments have contradicted the wintry end of December as a likely birth date for Christ in an outdoor pasture among grazing livestock) and B) He's angry at the commercialization of the event and demands we stop celebrating it.

Well... thy will be done, my Lord. I've obeyed people with less impressive credentials (you've never overpowered death and lived a bare minimum of two whole millenia, so suck it Steve from accounting!). Plus, I'm not much of a holiday person myself, so I don't need any more than a mild amount of provocation to stop celebrating it.

I don't think he would make addressing this particular issue a high priority though. Since we moved the date, altered the rationale of the holiday, and established an alternate mascot, the only thing Christmas as a holiday has retained in relation to Christ is the name. While he could be irked, need I remind you that one of the principle differences between Jesus and Luna is that Jesus has a crapload of irons in the fire he could attend to amongst his millions and millions of followers while Luna is simply fussing about with petty public relations (probably because she's bored witless at the palace) and is merely experiencing culture shock due to temporal jetlag. Which one of these is more likely to get worked up over a holiday?
 

-Dragmire-

King over my mind
Mar 29, 2011
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The character of Jesus is all about the love, he has no room for hated of any kind(aside from a temper tantrum where he pulls a Hulk on a marketplace for selling their wares on religious ground).

Besides, he'd be too busy fixing the rather corrupt portions of the church to focus on commercial christmas, he's not characterized as being that petty.
 

Souplex

Souplex Killsplosion Awesomegasm
Jul 29, 2008
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I am the Messiah, and I do despise Christmas, but that doesn't seem to stop anyone.