If life gave out achievements...

[Epifols]

What would some of them be? To note all the random things that happen as we live our lives.
For example:

Friend Circle
Know a friend who knows a friend who knows a friend who knows a friend who knows you, and none of those people know each other.

I've actually had that happen on xfire. It took a lot of checking out to find it.
Another one:

Idiot Detective
Make 1,000 people stupid people feel stupid.

Like yesterday I went through a drive through and had the money in my hand. I started handing it out as the chick started handing me my food. So she puts the food down and takes my money and goes away. The manager stands there for 7 full minutes talking nonstop on the intercom with some retards, and no one gives our food which is standing right behind the glass.

 

[sirdanrhodes]

AIDS:
Sucsessfully contract an STD while you're on a night out (f'ing chav)

Calm Down:
Throw your band new laptop at your brandnew HDTV because of a wasp.

 

[Gahars]

Life, in need of (25 points)

Have written you're own screenplay for a new Evil Dead movie.

So... (5 points)

Have had at least 5 awkward conversations at a family reunion.

 

[HSIAMetalKing]

Excuse me, WTF r u doin? (10 points)
-Declare yourself a Sociology Major at a university.

 

[jvm23fool]

Epic Phail30 points)
Single handedly screw up your first date by saying the following pick-up line: The word of the day is legs, so how about we go to my car and spread the word?

Wow you suck10 points)
Jam your toe on you're furniture first thing in the morning, TWICE in a row.

 

[WolfMage]

Quiet, ain't it? (-15 points)

Be the only one posting on a thread, and don't notice till done.

--

Seriously, get outside. (-25 points)

Watch every single Yahtzee video at least five times, and be online exactly when the newest video releases at least once.

--

Should have ridden the bus. (-30 points)

Get into a car crash.

--

*Fap Fap Fap* (-10 points)

Log over thirty hours of porn watching in a week.

--

b& (-100 points)

Be banned permanently from more than three forum sites.

--

Ok, wow.(-200 points)

Get banned from 4chan.

--

Better than the rest. (50 points)

Be an active MMORPG player and still maintain a relationship with a girl IRL.


Well, that's all I've got.

 

[DMShade]

A Soft Word Turneth Away Wrath (100)

Get the better of an irate person/loud arsehole verbally without losing your temper yourself.

I saw this achievement earned by a 6-year-old girl against a grown man at my job. I'll never forget it.

 

[Reaperman Wompa]

Cod4 Skillz!!(-100 points)
Try to use a real shotgun and hit yourself in the crotch with the recoil.

 

[Aginor27]

AWWWWWWW YEAH (25)
You lost your virginity. Those 40 seconds were something weren't they!

 

[Reaperman Wompa]

AWWWWWWW YEAH (25)
You lost your virginity. Those 40 seconds were something weren't they!

AWWWWWWW Shit (-300 points)
Realize that the girl you lost it to used to be a guy.

 

[Aginor27]

IT'S A TRAP(5)
You checked below the belt before asking "it" out.

You stupid piece of crap (1)
You bought a soulja boy CD

A HYUCK HYUCK (5)
You like country music.

tr00 kvlt (10)
You bought a Black Metal CD.

Aren't you original...(5)
you got a japanese character tattoo...real original.

OMG DESU DESU DESU KAWAII ^_^ (10)
You used this phrase on the internet, you Weeaboo.

THE RAINBOW KEEPS TELLING ME TO DO IT SOME MORE (50)
You got high. REALLY high

 

[Aginor27]

I tink dis video r relly cul, iz g0t bands n stuf (-9000)
You posted a comment on Youtube, depleting the purpose of English class.

 

[Epifols]

I Didn't Know
Break a mechanical device while trying to remove something and find out you had to press/pull a small part.

Money Management
Contemplate for a week to buy something, but then impulsively spend the money on something that you've never wanted before.

Bad Influence
Get 10 people to drink, 5 people to smoke, and 1 person to do drugs.

Afraid To Wake up
Wake up on a weekend and think you overslept for work/school 5 times.

 

[Reaperman Wompa]

When survival of the fittest fails (-25 points)
Become a Scientologist.

does that get me banned? I'm not sure.

 

[Altorin]

Bacon Farming ---- 25GP
You got a job, finally.

 

[jvm23fool]

What is wrong with you people!(10,000,000):
Watch every Invader Zim episode twice without even grinning.

Score!(5):
Get a girls cell phone number and actually remember to write it down.

 

[joltheadporgy]

fast( 5 points)
run a mile in under 5 minutes

freakin crazy fast (100 points)
run a mile in under 4 minutes

adulthood (18 points)
live to be 18

my good side(-10 points)
get a mugshot because you suck at life

 

[Aginor27]

THIS GAME NOT SELL WELL IT R NOT GOOD (5)
You're a complete idiot. Congratulations.


A kid I know is like that....god I hate him.

 

[Epifols]

Need a Dictionary
Use the word "irony" incorrectly

Need a Big Dictionary
Become and English teacher and use the word "irony" incorrectly

A Dictionary Wont Help, Shut Up
Use the word "irony" incorrectly while publicly speaking in front of 500+ people.

Damn it pisses me off when people don't know how to use that word. They just want to sound all fancy, but just end up sounding like complete retards. Now THATS ironic. Too bad they are too stupid to realize that.