If someone is a post-op transsexual, are they obligated to tell the person they are pursuing/dating?

[Helmholtz Watson]

Haven't read the whole thread yet, but i wanted to chime in. Should they tell them? no.

I'm sorry if that angers some people, but frankly it's none of their business. If the two of you fall in love, and deeply care about each other MAYBE. But that's totally up to the trans person. Full disclosure is BS, no one is ever 100% honest with their partner/lover/spouse. Why do you think the divorce rate is so high.

It would be a love based on a lie, and a transsexual shouldn't be surprised if the person wanted to break up with them.

 

[Helmholtz Watson]

Haven't read the whole thread yet, but i wanted to chime in. Should they tell them? no.

I'm sorry if that angers some people, but frankly it's none of their business. If the two of you fall in love, and deeply care about each other MAYBE. But that's totally up to the trans person. Full disclosure is BS, no one is ever 100% honest with their partner/lover/spouse. Why do you think the divorce rate is so high.

It would be a love based on a lie, and a transsexual shouldn't be surprised if the person wanted to break up with them.

and? it wouldn't be all the different then (looks at the divorce rates) 53% of all marriages.

what does divorce rates have to do with a transsexual being manipulative and a liar?

 

[Helmholtz Watson]

Haven't read the whole thread yet, but i wanted to chime in. Should they tell them? no.

I'm sorry if that angers some people, but frankly it's none of their business. If the two of you fall in love, and deeply care about each other MAYBE. But that's totally up to the trans person. Full disclosure is BS, no one is ever 100% honest with their partner/lover/spouse. Why do you think the divorce rate is so high.

It would be a love based on a lie, and a transsexual shouldn't be surprised if the person wanted to break up with them.

and? it wouldn't be all the different then (looks at the divorce rates) 53% of all marriages.

what does divorce rates have to do with a transsexual being manipulative and a liar?

Just as manipulative and as much of a liar as the person that doesn't say they have a problem with transsexuals upfront.

I think just about everybody in this thread that don't want to date transsexuals have made it very clear, so who exactly are you referring to?

 

[Helmholtz Watson]

I should have expected such a poorly thought out reply from you.

Personal attacks are not necessary, you can disagree with what I have to say without insulting me.

People saying it in this thread isn't the same as saying it to their girlfriend/boyfriend. Or is the standard you expect of transsexuals that they tell someone online somewhere and not the person they're dating?

I would expect(or hope) that any transsexual who is considering dating someone to tell them on the first couple of dates, so that they are not mislead.

Spoiler: for an example of how this can be done, please watch this video here about a pre-op Asian-American who confronts this very issue

Here is a link to the video about a pre-op person named Domaine, who confronts this issue. [http://www.mtv.com/videos/true-life-im-passing-as-someone-im-not/1662288/playlist.jhtml]

 

[Helmholtz Watson]

I said they should tell whoever they're planning to date that they have an issue with transsexuals. Otherwise they're being dishonest and lying.

Why? Why does every guy who doesn't want to date a transsexual have to go around announcing that they only date "real" women? The minority should have to make it clear that they are transsexual.

 

[Helmholtz Watson]

I said they should tell whoever they're planning to date that they have an issue with transsexuals. Otherwise they're being dishonest and lying.

Why? Why does every guy who doesn't want to date a transsexual have to go around announcing that they only date "real" women? The minority should have to make it clear that they are transsexual.

Because he's the one with the problem with them, he needs to be honest about it. So ridiculous to expect them to cater to you. You don't like it, say it. I mean if you have a real issue with it, then make it clear. You have a solution. If you won't take such an easy solution don't whine if you're not told.

I should be able to go into a straight bar, and assume that everybody there is natural. I also have a problem with furies, so should I have to tell every potential person I meet that I don't like having sex in an animal costume?

It's not asking to much for transsexuals to be honest with people about who they are and who they were.

 

[GigaHz]

I said they should tell whoever they're planning to date that they have an issue with transsexuals. Otherwise they're being dishonest and lying.

Why? Why does every guy who doesn't want to date a transsexual have to go around announcing that they only date "real" women? The minority should have to make it clear that they are transsexual.

Because he's the one with the problem with them, he needs to be honest about it. So ridiculous to expect them to cater to you. You don't like it, say it. I mean if you have a real issue with it, then make it clear. You have a solution. If you won't take such an easy solution don't whine if you're not told.

Ok. This is where I interject.

You think that I should inform every girl I happen to date that I don't like transexuals? How would she process that information? Would she think that I thought she looked androgynous?

I'm sorry but I'm not the one playing cloak and dagger. Why should I have to screen all of my potential dates just because they don't have the stones (literally) to tell me that they may not be what I'M looking for?

 

[GigaHz]

If you care that much, then say it. Otherwise don't complain. They probably don't want people against transsexuals, get the guts to tell people you don't like them. If you don't have the guts to tell that to the girls you meet, that's your problem. Don't like how they'll take it? Suck it up.

So... I should risk offending all my dates by implying that they are androgynous just to (on the severe offchance, mind you) protect some person who doesn't have the integrity to be upfront about their sexual identity.

Well... I hope there are transexuals out there with some integrity because that is the saddest form of reasoning I've ever read.

 

[Helmholtz Watson]

I said they should tell whoever they're planning to date that they have an issue with transsexuals. Otherwise they're being dishonest and lying.

Why? Why does every guy who doesn't want to date a transsexual have to go around announcing that they only date "real" women? The minority should have to make it clear that they are transsexual.

Because he's the one with the problem with them, he needs to be honest about it. So ridiculous to expect them to cater to you. You don't like it, say it. I mean if you have a real issue with it, then make it clear. You have a solution. If you won't take such an easy solution don't whine if you're not told.

I should be able to go into a straight bar, and assume that everybody there is natural.

You shouldn't be able to assume anything. Sorry, but your little entitlement complex shouldn't be pandered to.

I also have a problem with furies, so should I have to tell every potential person I meet that I don't like having sex in an animal costume?

If you care that much and want to look ignorant about furries.

It's not asking to much for transsexuals to be honest with people about who they are and who they were.

It's not too much to ask you to be upfront about what you want. Not too much to ask for you to stop expecting people to cater to you. If you don't like that they don't, that's your problem. You deal with it instead of whining about how they should do what you like when you have a solution you're too entitled and lazy to enact yourself.

It has nothing to do with being "entitled". It has everything to do with a transsexual is misleading a person when they allow them to think they are the gender they are trying to imitate. As you can see from reading this thread, many people don't recognize transsexuals as anything more than the gender they were born as, so many people would have a problem if they found out the person was a transsexual. With that in mind, when a transsexual knows that they are intentionally misleading a person, they are the one who is lying to the other person to manipulate them because they know that their partner might not want to date them if they find out their a transsexual.

 

[Helmholtz Watson]

I mean we all know your motive here is because you hate anything not you.

You need to look at the MTV link I gave earlier as evidence that there are transsexuals who know how some people will react, so they don't tell their partner, and how the guy reacted in the video is no surprise at all.

I don't hate people that are not like me, because that would mean I would have to hate about a couple billion people I have never met, nor will I meet.