if the above avatar broke into my house I would:

[Zirat]

Question what mixture of drugs I am on at the time that makes me see a mini Deadpool in a suit.

 

[i don't know]

ask it if it can share those drugs.

 

[Outcast107]

Punch it in the balls when it try to do a flying kick at me.

 

[AgDr_ODST]

murder him with ease and swipe his sword

 

[Xpwn3ntial]

Steal the sword he stole.

 

[TraitortoHeaven]

push the chair away

 

[Stone Wera]

Panic and throw up all over everything.

 

[i don't know]

tell it to stop throwing up over everything in my house.

 

[Stone Wera]

Take a picture.

 

[Xpwn3ntial]

Call the police.

 

[i don't know]

call the exorcist.

 

[Confidingtripod]

Wipe that smile off his face

 

[Stone Wera]

Add him to my inventory.

 

[TraitortoHeaven]

I got an axe, he has a wooden stick...

 

[Xpwn3ntial]

Call the nearest exterminator.

 

[i don't know]

stare at her until she explodes. 0.0

 

[Xpwn3ntial]

Beat him in a guitar duel.

 

[TraitortoHeaven]

Nothing I can do... he has a hard hat

EDIT: Ninja? Seriously!?

Fine, I'll chop up that chair... she's probably handicapped anyway

 

[i don't know]

steal his cleaver and tell him I'll give it to him in exchange for that awesome costume.

 

[Stone Wera]

Grab a crowbar and try to pry those goggles off.