If the Escapist Forums were like a city....

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Ultrajoe

Omnichairman
Apr 24, 2008
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How would I fit sunglasses over the helm? Who knows...
[HEADING=2]CSI: Escapist[/HEADING]​

Detective: Standard flaming, skin completely melted off from the blast and ample evidence of troll involvement. It ate well here.
Ultrajoe: Hmmm, looks like he... *Puts on Sunglasses* ...Couldn't take the heat.

YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

NewClassic_v1legacy

Bringer of Words
Jul 30, 2008
2,484
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The electric rattle of the alarm clock woke me up. I hate alarm clocks. Doesn't help that I have a warm body curled up against mine. Her cheek rested blithely on my side, and I think she was drooling on me a bit. I turned off the alarm and got up, careful not to disturb my bed-mate, and stepped into the shower. The big window in my bathroom didn't have a head lurking in the bushes, which was somewhat surprising. Normally someone was waiting around the time I woke up. Or maybe I just missed the face hidden somewhere.

I stripped off my shorts and stepped into the shower. After toweling off and brushing my teeth, I dressed for day. Picking a purple tie for the day, I fled my vault with a piece of toast hanging from my mouth. The city of Escapist was a familiar one, and I had a wave of nostalgia seeing posters and group photos of my old friends I hadn't seen in a while. Still, living nearby the country club meant seeing pictures of the old rich people. It shouldn't have surprised me.

Leaving the suburbs of Escapist, I approached downtown fairly quickly. Living off of the lakefront wasn't too bad, and it gave me good scenery on my stroll to the city. The monument of the Escapist gleamed from the early-morning dew. The silver statue displayed a showdown of SpinWhiz, Russ Pitts, and Susan Arendt. I smiled, and continued my stroll.

Once downtown, I immediately sat down at the local coffee shop. Several familiar faces were already there, chatting amicably amongst themselves. I waved and approached the counter. Combined was busy making my usual, accepting a small bill in exchange for my morning glass of milk. I took a seat at the table nearby Blaze and Varchld, and enjoyed my glass of milk in good company. After a good forty minutes of blathering blithely to Escapists in the cafe and making my conversational rounds, I had to take my leave.

The downtown loft office was pretty familiar to me, and I felt comfortable here. There was a minifridge, a television, and a handful of game consoles on a shelf. On the opposite face of the room, was a desk, a netbook, and a printer. I started typing up an article pitch, chewing a pen listlessly as I wrote. After two hours of staring over the two paragraphs worth of a pitch, I decided against what I was doing and deleted the pitch. Waste of a day, as usual... I got up, pilfered a Dr. P from the 'fridge, and headed out of the door.

The late afternoon sun was comfortable, and a breeze was drifting through downtown. I walked along the sidewalk, looking around for "halo sux" and "twilight = suck" spray paint on the polished downtown. I passed a Red Guard, running a mop jerkily over a particularly offensive bit of graffiti on the wall. The "artist" of the graffiti was on the floor, in handcuffs. I wasn't sure how I felt about knowing the offender by name.

Downtown was pretty, but had seen a lot of pollution and foot traffic over the years. I watched the Red Guard bustling about the street, cleaning up all manners of debris and litter. One of them smiled and waved, and I wasn't sure if I could have done the same in their shoes. Their job looked like it sucked. I smiled back and waved, betting that they did it for individuals like myself.

I finally left the downtown, heading off toward the country club to settle down at home for the evening. The country club seemed thinner than I remembered, and a lot of houses stood with "vacant" signs in the yard. People were coming, but not nearly as fast as they were going. I waved to Saskwatch as I passed, and settled into my vault for another night with the television.

It was long after dark by the time I trudged from my couch and into bed. I would be lying had I said I not passed out on the couch. Bed was nice. I dreamed of the city as I remember it, a big and scary place filled with lots of the upper crust and lots of wine-tasting parties and political discussions. I woke up the next morning to another chime of the alarm.

The walk back to downtown was filled with thoughts of whether or not the city had changed any, or if it was just my perspective. I got to the coffee shop and sat down with my glass of milk, greeting friends as I went. Ah well. Another day, another dollar.
 

Deleted

New member
Jul 25, 2009
4,054
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We would all be divided into classes but everyone gets along with each other. Also there will be a special building no one ever talks about that keeps all the... rowdy individuals.
 

Pm0n3y

An emaciated shadow
Jul 29, 2009
6,344
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NewClassic said:
Hado-snip!
I'd imagine my life in this city would be similar to this but i would be going to a high school, and talk to users there instead of at a cafe.
 

Berethond

New member
Nov 8, 2008
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Surprisingly enough, this isn't an original thread.
The other was "If the Internet was the real world" or something like that.

Quite a few people described the Escapi-City.

Just imagine the Pueblo dwellings. That's my vision.
 

NeutralDrow

New member
Mar 23, 2009
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I associate us more with a fairly large and friendly dormitory with really good maintenance and security, really...
 

Erana

New member
Feb 28, 2008
8,010
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I'd have a healing shop and be very biusy, if the IRC is an example of the violence there...
 

Pm0n3y

An emaciated shadow
Jul 29, 2009
6,344
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Berethond said:
Surprisingly enough, this isn't an original thread.
The other was "If the Internet was the real world" or something like that.

Quite a few people described the Escapi-City.

Just imagine the Pueblo dwellings. That's my vision.
But i never really wasn't referring to the internet as a whole... just this site...

And im pretty sure if the internet was the real world it wouldn't be just one city, it'll probably be several galaxies, and the biggest galaxy would be porn.
 

GHMonkey

New member
Aug 11, 2009
305
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it would be the most shockingly violent and funny city. filled with some of the most elietest pompous euro and trailer trash asshats ever.
 

US Crash Fire

New member
Apr 20, 2009
603
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like Oakland.
people dont give a shit about anyone but themselves and will shoot you just for looking at them the wrong way.
 

phatty500

New member
Mar 25, 2009
283
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three districts. the industrial district for the average escapist. a seedy slum district for the trolls. and a giant castle on a stormy hill where max looks down upon the city plotting.
 

Internet Kraken

Animalia Mollusca Cephalopada
Mar 18, 2009
6,915
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People would constantly build new buildings. People would then enter these buildings and spend all day talking to each other. Or shouting at each other. Or calling each other idiots.

Sometimes these buildings would catch on fire, sometimes people would complain that the building has been built before, and other times they get blown up. Some citizens get taken away for brief periods of time, while others vanish forever.
 

scotth266

Wait when did I get a sub
Jan 10, 2009
5,202
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Ultrajoe said:
How would I fit sunglasses over the helm? Who knows...
[HEADING=2]CSI: Escapist[/HEADING]​

Detective: Standard flaming, skin completely melted off from the blast and ample evidence of troll involvement. It ate well here.
Ultrajoe: Hmmm, looks like he... *Puts on Sunglasses* ...Couldn't take the heat.

YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What are you doing, not including a link to that awesomeness? [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjRG2530rwI]

(All we need now is for somebody to edit avatar heads onto their bodies, and we're set!)
 

dalek sec

Leader of the Cult of Skaro
Jul 20, 2008
10,237
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Living in my small apartment overlooking a busy steet as I watch tv inside my dalek casing, planning when the Daleks shall rise up and destroy you all!

Translation: I'd barely leave my room so I would only know a tiny portion of this city.
 

dalek sec

Leader of the Cult of Skaro
Jul 20, 2008
10,237
0
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scotth266 said:
Ultrajoe said:
How would I fit sunglasses over the helm? Who knows...
[HEADING=2]CSI: Escapist[/HEADING]​

Detective: Standard flaming, skin completely melted off from the blast and ample evidence of troll involvement. It ate well here.
Ultrajoe: Hmmm, looks like he... *Puts on Sunglasses* ...Couldn't take the heat.

YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What are you doing, not including a link to that awesomeness? [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjRG2530rwI]

(All we need now is for somebody to edit avatar heads onto their bodies, and we're set!)
I call Speedy's body!
 

Kingsman

New member
Feb 5, 2009
577
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Hmmm.... Well, I think... it would probably be a boring place. Like, the center of mediocrity.

This isn't necessarily a bad thing- we retain a healthy city maintenance, police force, postal system, and counseling services- and we keep a trim level of interesting city-wide events going to spur public interest.

/b/ might throw more exciting parties, but it's important to also note that their city is probably a combination of every dystopian future ever, combined with criminals of every caliber and background. It's also probably a good place to get a drug fix.