If the internet was a real place

[plastic_window]

Let's say that the internet was a country somewhere. Maybe like an island out in the ocean. What would it be like?

How many people live there?
What's it like for crime?
What does it look like?
What's the housing like?
What's the capital city?
And more importantly... Where do we Escapists fit in?

These are just little questions I was thinking of, they're not the only things that are up for discussion here.

There is but one rule:
You can't copy the internet from Futurama. I saw those episodes too.


Commence!

[EDIT]
A lot of people are mention Dave Chapelle. I would like to clarify that I have never seen or heard of this man in my life and this thread was not inspired by him or this skit he did that everyone's talking about.

 

[dontworryaboutit]

It would be even more of a shithole than the real world.

 

[Pimppeter2]

Just think of all the porn stars....

 

[Fightgarr]

I'm pretty sure Dave Chapelle did a skit in which he illustrated exactly this. It was a pretty terrible place.

As for where we as Escapists would fit in. We'd be a snooty group of nerdy looking people sniffing at passersby and being generally elitist.
Generalization... I don't think we are elite as individuals, just as a forum on the whole.

 

[The Maddest March Hare]

Trolls would be lurking in every dark corner and cats doing people things would rule the world.

 

[NeedAUserName]

Just think of all the porn stars....

And all the trolls and pop ups blocking your way...

 

[Glerken]

Well, obviously, my fellow Escapists run the Internet.
There is no real housing, only ballpits everywhere.

And there's one rowdy gang of hooligans that commit the most serious crime ever. Trolling.

Actually, that sounds rather boring.

 

[bodyklok]

It would be even more of a shithole than the real world.

Agreed.

Just think of all the porn stars....

But I'd do it anyway for this.

 

[timmytom1]

Well, obviously, my fellow Escapists run the Internet.
There is no real housing, only ballpits everywhere.

And there's one rowdy gang of hooligans that commit the most serious crime ever. Trolling.

Actually, that sounds rather boring.

Needs more explosions and people randomly fighting

 

[Upturned Walrus]

Q-How many People live there? A-100,000,000 people
Q-What's it like for crime? A-If you do wrong you get banhammered(hit on the head with a hammer)
Q-What's the housing like? A-Anything you desire
Q-What's the Capital city? A-Main Server
Q-Where do we Escapist's fit in? A-Anywhere cuz we own
meh it's my first post so cut me some slack

 

[ThePoodonkis]

Spoiler: something like this

 

[Glerken]

Well, obviously, my fellow Escapists run the Internet.
There is no real housing, only ballpits everywhere.

And there's one rowdy gang of hooligans that commit the most serious crime ever. Trolling.

Actually, that sounds rather boring.

Needs more explosions and people randomly fighting

Ah, I knew something was missing.

Everything thats remotely close to the color red is explosive.
And to gain currency you have to fight with the standard well armed hobo on every street.

 

[plastic_window]

I think Google would spearhead the public transport system, but they never really park that close to the bus-stops.

Ask Jeeves is a limo-driver who's actually pretty reliable, but no-one uses him that much because he looks a bit creepy.

 

[Flap Jack452]

It would be even more of a shithole than the real world.

This. Everything is porn related. After all, the internet is made for porn. We'd have dildo skyscrapers and lubricant tube stations.

Epic, and true

 

[Tehpwnsauce]

It would be even more of a shithole than the real world.

This. Everything is porn related. After all, the internet is made for porn. We'd have dildo skyscrapers and lubricant tube stations.

To be honest I think the Harry Potter version is better.

 

[plastic_window]

Spoiler: something like this

My God. I was about to ask for a map to be made of the internet country in the OP, but I didn't think anyone would find anything...

 

[FeralPhantom]

If the internet was a real place I'd find the city of 4Chan and drop a nuke on it.