If you could enchant your "gear" in real life, how would you enchant it?

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Your once and future Fanboy

The Norwegian One
Feb 11, 2009
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the +5 never-be-lost keys of power, the +10 bag of holding as a backpack, Money pants (insta cash in my pocket [greater artifact]), shoes of teleport, t-shirt of phsyical might, wristwatch of time control (never be late for work again), socks of instant good bodysmell (nuff' said) and my boxers of revival (i will never be found dead in my boxers, he he), +5 shades of sight.
 

TheRightToArmBears

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Dec 13, 2008
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Leather jacket of reflect damage 100%
Beanie of Summon Chuck Norris
Gloves of +1000 Strength
Jeans of +1000 Speed
Shoes of 100% Chamelion (sp?)
Ring of Summon Bound Longsword


Oblivion based stuff. Now that would be awesome.
 

Macgyvercas

Spice & Wolf Restored!
Feb 19, 2009
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Leather Jacket: +10 to Armor Class, Reduces all physical damage by 100%.
Cowboy Hat: Grants +10 to Intelligence, Wisdom and Charisma.
Satchel: Bag of Holding.
Belt: Grants +10 to Constitution and Strength.
Gloves: Grants +10 to Dexterity.
Boots: Increases run speed by 25%.
Short Sword: +75% to score critical hit. Vorpal.
Ring: Charm Person.
Necklace: +50 to Haggle.
Jeans: +15 to Tumble.
 

mikespoff

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Oct 29, 2009
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ICs2Xist said:
mikespoff said:
+6 Pants of Influence.

It's hard to have much influence in society when you're not wearing pants.
I got quite a laugh out of that; well put!

The Contact Lenses of Foresight - let you know when something is going to suck so you don't waste your time with it.
/bows.

Well, I was wearing my +3 beanie of Funny when I wrote it.
 

mikespoff

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Oct 29, 2009
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tharglet said:
Mcupobob said:
+20 boxers of suduction.
Er, going for the foaming boxers look there? Don't think suds are particularly seductive... then again this is a world with "Rule 34"....
Hey, don't knock the +20 Boxers of Sud-action. Jump into the jacuzzi wearing those babies, and you have an instant bubble bath!

And if you run out of dishwashing liquid, you can just whip them out and use them as a wash cloth...
 

pyrosaw

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Mar 18, 2010
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Stocking cap of wisdom:
-5 damage against weather conditions
+42 laziness
armor: cloth
 

subject_87

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Jul 2, 2010
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Newsboy hat of +20 awesomeness, +1 jetpack, grants level 30 Giant Laser Beam Face Melty Death spell.
 

coldshadow

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Mar 19, 2009
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I would enchant my shoes with engineer speed tinker. you know how freaking awsome that would be!
 

Dango

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Feb 11, 2010
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+100 cat umbrella...ness.

Seriously, I want Rachel Alucard's cat umbrella so much.
 

Warlord_Pickle

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Feb 26, 2010
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ultrachicken said:
Anti-bug clothing set
Sets all bugs within a 2-meter radius on fire

[sub]I hate mosquitos[/sub]
dude... that would rock... but they probably wouldn't let you into any public building they wanted to keep not-burnt-to-ashes.... on the other hand you could make a killing hiring yourself out as an exterminator!

Knit Scarf of Temperature Regulation
Can control heat level within 10 meter radius. Keep cool in the desert, keep warm in a blizzard, and keep your gaming system cool through hours of nonstop playing. Ah, and controlling temperature gives limited telekineses to heat-based matters of physics, such as air motion and fire.
 

Funkiest Monkey

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Jul 10, 2010
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Plaid Shirt/Hooded Jacket 2-in-1 combo.

+1 comfortability
+3 adaptability
+10 practicality
+20% rain resistance
+10% warmth
-5 smartness
+1 style
+4 pockets
 

Holyeskimo

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Jul 14, 2010
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Enchant Hoodie: burn all horrible vampire books
Use: ignite all horrible vampire books within a five mile radius, no cooldown

Enchant Pants: Hammer space
Use: Allows for infinite storage in pockets, and the ability to find anything i need.

Enchant Shoes: Jet shoes
Use: Let's me motherf*ckin fly sucka's

All those
 

tharglet

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Jul 21, 2010
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mikespoff said:
tharglet said:
Mcupobob said:
+20 boxers of suduction.
Er, going for the foaming boxers look there? Don't think suds are particularly seductive... then again this is a world with "Rule 34"....
Hey, don't knock the +20 Boxers of Sud-action. Jump into the jacuzzi wearing those babies, and you have an instant bubble bath!

And if you run out of dishwashing liquid, you can just whip them out and use them as a wash cloth...
Wow, never knew they could be so epic... *orders a pair for her hubby*