If you could have the worlds undivided attention for 1 minute...

[SwimmingRock]

"Why are you listening to me? Figure life out your own damn selves."

Partially because I genuinely believe that and partially because I'm too lazy to really write a good one-minute speech.

 

[Not-here-anymore]

I'd probably screw up. I get nervous giving a presentation to 20 people. To 7 billion-ish?

But I figure I'd prepare a minute long speech about how amazing the world around us is compared to how previous civilisations have had it, and ask people to think about why they spend so much time complaining about it (and so little time trying to actually change things). I'd encourage people to be more open-minded towards one another; to lose the isolation that everyone seems to have nowadays.

I'd get laughed off as some kind of crazy hippie, doubtless, but I'd still try to get my point across.

 

[open trap]

I would promote heavy metal and denounce rap and pop music,Most of my friends would love it, but a few wont.

 

[TheNamlessGuy]

DELETED

 

[Daft Sikes]

Simply ask them, "WHY?"
I enjoy screwing with people's heads.

 

[WINDOWCLEAN2]

"Hey you!.....Yes you! The one looking over here fool! Look at the people around you, one of them has captured your family, You ust dechiper who it is....and eliminate them!

Failure to comply may result in Death"

 

[Wardnath]

I would rickroll everyone.


[sub][small]Oh like you didn't see that coming[/small][/sub]

 

[Jinjiro]

I'd try and get every single person on the planet to sing or hum the same song at the same time, and turn Earth into a giant music box.

 

[nightfish]

Tell it to grow up!

 

[EightGaugeHippo]

Hypnotise the entire planet.

 

[Zhukov]

"Ahem... ladies? I'm single. Just sayin'."

...

Just kidding. If I found myself in that position, I would run like hell.

 

[D0WNT0WN]

Whip it out.

 

[Guffe]

I'd probably shit my pants and start talking about how war is shit... something along those lines, or then I could do the Number of the Beast intro and proclaim prize for the shortest concert with most people on it....

 

[Taddy]

"People, look to your left, now your right, chances are the person you just looked at hates you more then you hate them."

 

[Harlemura]

"Y'all listenin'? Okay, when I count to three, we're all gonna jump in the air. Ready? One... two..."
And then the Earth would break. But it'd be worth it.

Spoiler: But if I could show everyone a TV...

"PEOPLE OF THE WORLD...""THAT IS ALL!"

 

[Phlakes]

Suck it up and stop killing each other. We're getting tired of it. Especially if you have basically no reason to. Looking at you, Middle East. You're over there waving your dick in the air and everyone else is just facepalming. Also, everyone in the world needs to give me one dollar each.

 

[Queen Michael]

"People, we need to stop defending trash literature! I speak, of course, about garbage books like the Twilight series. Now, I'm not saying that the entire genre is garbage, I'm saying that these books, and many others from all genres, are. Some people might reply that it's better to read Twilight than to read nothing at all, but how often does one find oneself in a situation where no other books are available? And besides, it's btter to eat Big Macs and fries than to eat nothing at all, but nevertheless such food habits are condemned as unhealthy, and for good reason." Then time'd run out.

 

[teutonicman]

Hello everyone, it's nice to talk to you today. The following is a list of shit you need to drop like french class:
Twilight: It was tolerable up until the point where the first movie racked in enough cash to pay for all the following movies.
Celebrity gossip and idolization in general. There are better and more interesting people in the world doing far better things with their time then FUCKING Jenny McCarthy.
*This only refers to people with access to the internet.* A general ignorance about the world around you. You have more or less the sum of human knowledge at your finger tips, USE IT. I don't expect you to be constantly learning new or important things as I would be hypocritical in saying so. But you can at least sub-scribe to a news site and read/skim a couple world/country stories a day.
Finally, I am sick and tired (HA! I'm complaining about hearing about it, when I bet their are countless people sick and tired of living it.) of hearing about some person(s) being killed by a bunch of medieval time-locked psychotics that believe their god of peace can only be spread through bloodshed. Oh! I forgot about pedophilia, cut that shit out too.
*After that I would give everyone the bat wing before my time was up.*

 

[Jinjiro]

"People, look to your left, now your right, chances are the person you just looked at hates you more then you hate them."

Ok I wanna change my answer since this reminded me of the greatest commercial ever.

I'd just play this:

 

[Sneaky-Pie]

"You're not as impressive as you think you are."