If you were a facist dictator what laws would you establish?

[SomeLameStuff]

1) Jack Thompson would be forced to play E.T. and Superman 64 till dead, then have Jose from Screwattack teabag him while screaming "My balls in your face!". Anyone who wants a turn can do so after him.

2)Any other people who think gaming is the cause of all things evil (Fox...) will be put into giant cannons and launched to their doom. If they survive, they'll be launched again... into a pit of spikes.

3) Uwe Boll would have meat stuffed down his clothes and have hunger-crazed wolverines set upon him. This is all recorded for my future enjoyment.

4) People who mega over hype their games (Yes Peter, I'm referring to you) will have to massage the feet of old grannies. With their teeth.

5) Bad movies based on games/books will have to wash the movie theater toilets with their tongue.

6) Mega fanboys (for example: "Halo 3 is the best! It can cure cancer!" or "Xbox suxx! PS3 roxx!" or "Xbox rapes PS3!"... you get the picture) will undergo nipple torture. No penalty shall be given if the game is actually good.

7) Only people aged 14 and up will be issued a mic. Violators will be punished with the wheel of doom.

8) Those who force religion onto others will have gasoline poured down their throats and forced to wear a woolen sweater and a nylon coat in a carpeted room.

9) All english-dubbed anime/games will be hunted down and destroyed. Those caught english dubbing will have their testicles pulverised, undergo papercut torture and strangled. English subtitles are fine.

10) Stuck up snobs will have their heads shoved into a cow's rectum.

11) Gays will be put into gas camps. Lesbians are fine. XD

12) Anyone caught intentionally hurting a defenseless animal will have a stick shoved up their ass. A big one is its small. With thorns if the animal is cute. Killing during hunting seasons are fine.

13) Censorship will be removed. Movies/games will have age ratings (Ages 18 and up etc.) but they are just recommendations.

14) Criminals (Shop lifters, pickpockets, etc) will be punished according to a severity scale. Most serious offenders will be drowned in piss.

15) Only English shall be required to be taught in schools. Other languages are not compulsory but can be taught if requested.

16) Everyone will have to undergo STD screenings once every year. People with STD's will be secretly kidnapped and murdered.

Out of ideas now. Will think of more.

 

[ThrobbingEgo]

2)Any other people who think gaming is the cause of all things evil (Fox...) will be put into giant cannons and launched to their doom. If they survive, they'll be launched again... into a pit of spikes.

See? This is why people think we're immature, violent, man-children. Because we solve all our problems by launching things into the sun, shortly followed by tea bagging. As a group we're very poor at public relations.

 

[traceur_]

I think this covers the fundamentals.

1)Twilight and it's fanbase will be destroyed.

2)forbid fat chicks, you know why.

3)outlaw celebrity gossip magazines/channels/news coverage
outlaw tennis, golf, football (both kinds)
outlaw religion (nothing against it really, it just fucks things up)
outlaw reality TV because it's bullshit.
outlaw fashion shows because they are fucking stupid
outlaw soap operas.
outlaw rap and hip hop music.
wearing fashion accessories such as belts that do nothing, hoop earings and high heel shoes will be punishable by death

4)Change the legal age to view and buy porn to 2 years of age.

5)Create assassin/ninja guild

6)Every citizen must carry 1 or 2 small bladed weapons (small scythes included) or 1 larger bladed weapon and must also carry 1 or 2 handguns or 1 larger projectile weapon, they will be designed and built to the carrier's specifications, DMC sized weapons are encouraged.

7)All citizens will be trained in the use of all weapons during their school years.

8)Execute all people who: are stupid, like reality TV, like soap operas, like rap/hip hop music.

9)All citizens must have at least basic knowledge and skill in the discipline of parkour.

10)My country will have a no tolerance policy regarding douchebags, they will be killed.

11)belief in scientology, astrology and all hippie shit will be punishable by execution.

13)Remove cars and replace them with really fast bumper cars and really fast conveyor belts to run on.

14)Get rid of the wii, develop motion sensing technology and VR to the point where it kicks arse.

15)Bad CGI in movies will result in the creators being made to watch twilight in a sealed room until they kill themselves by repeatedly slamming their head into the wall.

16)male racists and haters of homosexuals will have their penises slowly cut off by a machine over the course of 24 hours, should they be females the above punishment will be the same but applied to their breasts.

17) to avoid my heavily armed, ninja skilled citizens from killing me, they will be loved and supported in all things they do apart from the aforementioned restrictions, the beautiful females will be loved personally by me.

18) abortions will be legalised.

19) spanking of children will be encouraged when they misbehave, disciplining them solely by explaining to them what they did wrong will be punished by a swift jab to the genitalia of the parent on a daily basis.

20) Anyone caught saying and/or typing the word "blog" and all variations thereof, will be savagely beaten.

 

[WeedWorm]

So you'd tax religions... but there's no censorship? You can't, by definition, do both.

I havent thought it out fully, understand. That was just a quick list of things that came into my head but why couldnt I do both?
People would still be free to practise their religion of choice, its just that the religion will be paying taxes to the government.

 

[ThrobbingEgo]

Is it really a good idea for an oppressive dictator to train every one of his citizens to be an effective and deadly assassin? It seems like you're asking to be overthrown, violently.

So you'd tax religions... but there's no censorship? You can't, by definition, do both.

I havent thought it out fully, understand. That was just a quick list of things that came into my head but why couldnt I do both?
People would still be free to practise their religion of choice, its just that the religion will be paying taxes to the government.

You're taxing someone because of their beliefs. It's not banning speech but it's a form of censorship.

 

[Skeleon]

The only industry allowed in my country would be beer-brewage.

 

[Vrex360]

In my dreams of power as a child I always imagined how I would make the world a better place for me, here are some examples of things I would have done if I was in charge and was a brutal dictator:

1. Hummers would be illegal, all hummers must be crushed and destroyed by their former owners who are then stripped of their driving privilages and must be escorted everywhere in cars that smell like pee. In the more brutal cases if someone has defyed the law and is driving a hummer anyway their hummer will be crushed into a cube... with them inside it.

2. The law of 'keep your religion out of my face' would pass and any creation science evangelist activists would be sent to work camps for the rest of their lives away from civilisation.

3. People who listen to crappy hip hop really loud must be casterated so they cannot breed and therefore future generations would not have to listen to that crap.

4. Hate crimes of any kind (except the ones I dish out) will be punishable with death.

5. Movies will have a legal limit to sequels and any movie that ends self contained will have a restraint on sequels. Also bad film makers will be suffer the death penalty, death by being torn apart by predatory reptiles.

6. Forum trollers who spew hate about certain games will have their fingers removed.

My list of laws could go on forever but enough ranting about myself, what laws would you lay out if you were a facist dictator?

Actually that sounds more like something a left wing dictator would do than a right wing dictator.

Exactly don't you know? I'm the worlds first savage brutal powerhungry extremist authoriatian left wing wacko.

 

[WeedWorm]

Is it really a good idea for an oppressive dictator to train every one of his citizens to be an effective and deadly assassin? It seems like you're asking to be overthrown, violently.

So you'd tax religions... but there's no censorship? You can't, by definition, do both.

I havent thought it out fully, understand. That was just a quick list of things that came into my head but why couldnt I do both?
People would still be free to practise their religion of choice, its just that the religion will be paying taxes to the government.

You're taxing someone because of their beliefs. It's not banning speech but it's a form of censorship.

What? No, Im not. Im taxing them because theyre in my country. I couldnt give two shits what they do or dont believe but if theyre in my country, theyre gonna pay and theyre gonna pay the same as everyone else.

The only industry allowed in my country would be beer-brewage.

You are a good person.

 

[ThrobbingEgo]

Oh, you're just not giving them tax breaks. I thought you meant you'd just tax the hell out of them. Nevermind.

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

Keep all the people who've replied to this post under VERY close scrutiny.

 

[BolognaBaloney]

All musical genres would be required to witch stereotypes monthly.

Rappers would drop beats about their daughters, trucks, dogs and texas.

Country would serenade us with lyrics regarding suicide, cannibalism and anger.

Metal would have to scream about rims, butts, guns, money, and how they have the most of these.

 

[ThrobbingEgo]

Keep all the people who've replied to this post under VERY close scrutiny.

As you should, your highness.

 

[WeedWorm]

Keep all the people who've replied to this post under VERY close scrutiny.

OHH SHI--

 

[BringBackBuck]

Is it really a good idea for an oppressive dictator to train every one of his citizens to be an effective and deadly assassin? It seems like you're asking to be overthrown, violently.

So you'd tax religions... but there's no censorship? You can't, by definition, do both.

I havent thought it out fully, understand. That was just a quick list of things that came into my head but why couldnt I do both?
People would still be free to practise their religion of choice, its just that the religion will be paying taxes to the government.

You're taxing someone because of their beliefs. It's not banning speech but it's a form of censorship.

Exactly how does tax = censorship?

 

[WrongSprite]

Age 18 everybody's brain is replaced with a microchip.

No rebellion and limits the possibility of a Zombie infestation.

You'd have a lot of very angry teenagers.

So not a lot of difference =D

 

[deewank]

i would make everyone be nice to one another and my laws would be fair but if you say anything racially offensive, and not somthing stupid like crakka cus thats just a stupid name, you know the really bad stuff would be shot on the spot so to be made as an example to everyone

 

[sirawesome]

In my dreams of power as a child I always imagined how I would make the world a better place for me, here are some examples of things I would have done if I was in charge and was a brutal dictator:

1. Hummers would be illegal, all hummers must be crushed and destroyed by their former owners who are then stripped of their driving privilages and must be escorted everywhere in cars that smell like pee. In the more brutal cases if someone has defyed the law and is driving a hummer anyway their hummer will be crushed into a cube... with them inside it.

2. The law of 'keep your religion out of my face' would pass and any creation science evangelist activists would be sent to work camps for the rest of their lives away from civilisation.

3. People who listen to crappy hip hop really loud must be casterated so they cannot breed and therefore future generations would not have to listen to that crap.

4. Hate crimes of any kind (except the ones I dish out) will be punishable with death.

5. Movies will have a legal limit to sequels and any movie that ends self contained will have a restraint on sequels. Also bad film makers will be suffer the death penalty, death by being torn apart by predatory reptiles.

6. Forum trollers who spew hate about certain games will have their fingers removed.

My list of laws could go on forever but enough ranting about myself, what laws would you lay out if you were a facist dictator?

 

[Iron Criterion]

When I will one day take over, my people would have the freedom to do what ever they want, as long as it's not a danger to the government and as long as they do what I ask when I ask of it, other then that they are ok.

But laws I would introduce would be:

1 - All crimes are punishable by death.
2- Chavs, scene kids, indies, nerds the unintelligent and people who won't work - are forced to either get a job, or be sent to a forced labour camp or join the army.
3 - Fanboys/girls would be used to create sub-standard food for the proles.
4 - All religions are ok, as long as they have me as the deity.
5 - Any sign of rebellion will result in death by Rancor.