If You Were Admin of the Entire Internet ...

[Sectan]

My Bans would be...

People who keep bickering back and forth in threads instead of taking it to the PMs like they should would be temporarily banned then permanently banned for repeat offences.

People who start flame threads would be banned. People responding to said flame threads would be temporarily banned.

Other than that I'd leave everything else the same.

Any behavior of the asshole kind would be banned because it gets old. REALLY. OLD.

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

I'd ban this guy [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/profiles/view] because he's always making bad posts.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

I'd ban this guy [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/profiles/view] because he's always making bad posts.

I hate that guy. I would IP ban him so hard!

 

[Flames66]

I would not use my new powers unless it was absolutely necessary for the good of the world. If I did, I would be like SOPA, but worse because it would be one individual deciding.

 

[PsychedelicDiamond]

i'd install some feature on YouTube that reads every comment anyone has written out loud to him, before he can send it... Maybe on some other sites too.

 

[Trippy Turtle]

Fix youtube first. Make myself cool tags on random sites like making my one here on the homepage saying "Trippy Turtle was here!" in big pink letters. Set /b/ to constantly have all my favorite songs running... or possibly Justin Bieber.
Finally threaten to bring down the internet unless I get to high five Moot.

I'd ban this guy [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/profiles/view] because he's always making bad posts.

Oh god he is an asshat.

 

[Memoriae]

I'd only do one thing.

Anyone who ever used the word "sheep" to describe anything other than a woolly animal, that grazes, and has young called lambs.

Anyone who falls foul of that should be fucking shot down. Not just disconnected, but actually fucking shot.

If you want to insult someone, at least put some effort into it. Call someone a robotic fuckstick (or vibrator, if you will). Publicise either their mothers promiscuity, or the persons sexual preferences.

But for fuck sake, if someone calls someone else a sheep because of their preferences either in shiny toys, or their standpoints, I WILL hunt them down, and curbstomp them.

 

[Erttheking]

"get's the ban hammer"

I've got a long day ahead of me, first off destroy some of the less admirable sites, then take down the Bungie forums (leave the rest of the site alone) then comb through youtube, banning the trolls and spammers. That should keep me busy for awhile

 

[Daystar Clarion]

I'd ban this guy [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/profiles/view] because he's always making bad posts.

Oh go fuck yourself.

It's a joke. It sends you to your own profile page, it'e been around a while, I'm surprised you've never seen it before.

OT: Rule 34 must be eradicated.

 

[-Samurai-]

I'd shut the entire thing down. Sure, it can be a valuable tool for research and learning, but that's not what the majority of people do with it.

The world was a better place before the internet existed.

 

[thom_cat_]

1. So you say something, and then don't explain it? to top it off, you still try to make yourself sound smarter than me. lol.

What is there to explain, really? I've explained it all.

2. Insulting users over a non-serious thread is dignity? News to me.

Insulting a pirate who steals stuff ... just because he can? Or because ... what? That's dignity! There is no reason to pirate stuff. None at all. Especially since you don't seem to offer any kind of excuse for doing so.

3. You think that people won't find a way to get past any internet censor? Really? Do you have any idea how many times they've tried and failed?

That doesn't mean they one day can't. Actually, to be honest, I hope they just shut down the internet one day. I hasn't really done the world that much good, except help free-loading pirates (lets face it, that's what pirates are. Not meant to be insulting, just stating a basic fact) do their thing EASIER (there was piracy before, but it became easier in the digital age) and let people be idiots without fear of someone punching them in the face.

OH MAN THE IGNORANCE.

Firstly, people can make money off giving things like music away for free. Of course it doesn't work for every media but it can be done. Take Pretty Lights for example.

Secondly, the internet has done the world SO MUCH GOOD. SO MUCH.
Without the internet we would be so far behind where we are now. I don't know how this is not obvious.
Without the internet our rate of knowledge expansion would drop like a rock.

 

[Robert Ewing]

I'd keep the internet free, save for illegal activity that is, i.e child pornography, slave trafficking sites, you know the stuff, that's all getting removed.

I'd also remove all trace of pop-up adverts, the adverts that start at the beginning of videos. The adverts that start with the sound on full blast. I'd take down adverts that have advanced and expensive scripting that hogs all bandwidth. I'd ban adverts that force you to look at what somebody is selling.

In my internet, advertisements are completely optional, you should never be forced into buying something, ever.

Also if any corporation, or movement attempts to gain an upper hand on the mighty internet admin of me, and thus try to exploit, scam, whatever... then I shall slap every DNS they have ever owned with a 6 month ban. Fear controls the fear-mongers.

 

[Supertegwyn]

I'd ban this guy [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/profiles/view] because he's always making bad posts.

Oh go fuck yourself.

It's a joke. It sends you to your own profile page, it'e been around a while, I'm surprised you've never seen it before.

OT: Rule 34 must be eradicated.

1. Nope, never seen it
2. I've had a LONG day, and when I saw that post it just pissed me off. I couldn't tell if it was a joke or not, it's hard to tell on the Internet.

My apologies.

 

[Weslebear]

Make 4chan the homepage for everyone, all the time.

The hate that place gets is undeserved, occasionally it's boring but 80% of the time I find shit on there that makes me laugh harder than anywhere else on the net, plus thanks to anonymity people don't pussyfoot about, shit gets discussed properly.

Also, ban hammer a hefty chunk of the elitist retards on here, the air of smugness and "intelligence" is nauseating.

Remove every comment on Youtube that isn't a relevant sensible question/critique or just comment, also ban Ray William Johnson and any other video blog channels that play off of other things that are funny to make themselves popular.

Take down all extremist sites, religious or otherwise.

And finally, make all information available to the public, opening up every file in every government server for anyone to browse. Censorship of information is a terrible thing.

 

[The Unworthy Gentleman]

As a capitalist, businessman and someone who works in an industry which suffers from piracy, I would like to inform you that THAT SHIT DOESN'T HAPPEN THAT WAY.

Everything can't be free, at least not in the kind of society we live in. And also, what your dumb ass doesn't realize, copyrights and "whatnot" are highly important. It tries to prevent slobs like you from profiting from the work of others.

Oh capitalism. It can. Again, it can. No they aren't. Capitalism is based entirely on profiting from the work of others.

There is no reason to pirate stuff. None at all.

Except for it being free.

And piracy doesn't make anybody money, except lazy pirates who are merely stealing oxygen in the world.

But it doesn't.

The internet has given the idiots and scum a place to speak out and have a voice.

Because people aren't allowed to have a voice if they don't measure up to your standards. Yes, of course, I totally agree. Sense the irony here.

If you want information, go to a library. If you want creativity, go to your local open mic night.

Why bother having a bounty of information and creativity when you can have a minuscule collection of shit.

as a singer/songwriter, copyrights are extremely important and vital.

That's laughable.

You have been wrong so many times in this thread I don't know whether to pity you or burst into laughter. You're also the main contributor to the ball of flame that this thread has turned into and it's your own thread, you're supposed to try and stop that from happening. You've been so patronising and arrogant in your replies to people that it's no wonder you're almost banned. Seriously dude, sort that shit out.

OT: Probably nothing. I might dick around with a few websites every now and then, just to remind them I have the power to do so. I also might just fuck up people's experience if they piss me off too, although I doubt I'd ban anyone.

 

[sky14kemea]

I'd remove this thread! Oh wait... I can!

Just kidding, I won't. Although if I keep seeing people arguing with all this hostility, I might be tempted to lock it. =P

I probably wouldn't do too much different. I wouldn't outright ban someone right away, but I'd probably hand out a lot of warnings and stuff to people that are being outright jerks.

As for websites, I don't really visit the bad ones, so I'd only ban them if I got a ton of people reporting it or something. >.>

 

[vidirg]

I'd try to take down offensive sites (not sites just for jokes like 4chan more like godhatesfags.com) I'd also try to keep it the way it is, I'd just have minor changes and I'd send out an e-mail, so people could tell wich site is offensive, fishing and etc.
I'm can't talk about what else I'm gonna do because it's against the escapist rules and I respect them

 

[liveslowdiefast]

Probably just do nothing, cause you know, thats censoring the interwebs, and that is exactly what we're fighting guys(sopa, proctect i.p)! You can't just get rid of stuff you don't like even if it is horrible (i.e neo Nazi propaganda), cause then your put up to a double standard. so yeah leave it as it is.

 

[Blunderboy]

I see now why I normally avoid such threads.
Honestly, I'd give up the power. It's way more hastle then it could ever be worth, unless you want to be a complete and utter wanker it would seem.
You know who you are.

 

[Lizardon]

I'd give myself all the badges on the Escapist.

Other than that, I can't think of anything else I'd do to change the Internet. Don't fix what isn't broken.