If you were an alien civilization, how would you invade earth and why?

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-=Spy=-

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Mass broadcasts informing the population of our superiority and commands to surrender, followed by strategic bombing of important locations and other stuff that looks really impressive, even if it does very little.
 

TAGM

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I wouldn't "invade" so much as "pop in and say hi." After all, any alien race advanced enough to get to earth is probably smart enough to know that war might be a bad idea. Especialy if they got hold of any of our movies lately.

Why kill humans anyway? I'm an advanced civalised race! Will my ship be filled with the alien answer to Furries, who desperatly want to see a human and screw their bones out? Does Planet Zebol really need chearleaders that much? Will I be farming human brains and fighting off a Rusian conspiricy involving Crab things from the planet Mars?

Bottom line, my plan is - Note that earth is a place with life, check to see that my party of alien groopies won't get coughed to death and can live on earth, land inconspicuasly near the white house, sneak in, say "Hi" to the president, explain how we wanted to take a vist and we mean no harm, get the president to explain that the next week is "Don't Panic About Dem Aliens" Week, and bob's your uncle, we just "took over" earth - If only for a week - And we didn't even kill anybody!
Well, we took over America, anyway. As for the other conteries... Well, if america accepts us, The other conteries should be easy.
 

Cobbs

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tetron said:
They would force earth to acknowledge complete surrender and join the alien's great galactic empire. Earth would be re-named FoodCourtia and be turned into an inter-galactic fast food restaurant.
Too much Zim is never enough. And i would win the pitiful earth beings favor by eliminating their greatest annoyance....
...Justin Bieber
 

CouchCommando

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Probably create a mock up of a monotheistic abrahamic diety and descend from the heavens on the holy city amongst much fanfare of a easily duped sizable chunk of the population of earth, Loud proclamations from the heavens in their native language etc, and then exhort them to show their faith by turning on the *erm* infidels as the end times were upon them.
It would make for a dramatic entrance, cause a good size of panic chaos and discord and also create a pretty stable bridge head for the invasion to go to the next phase.
My guess would be that they would probably want the planet due to its climate or due to its multitude of different carbon based life forms or more likely just the location, seeing as location is everything.
 

sabbat

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1 create a giant lazer sphere that can cut into anything
2 encase earth within said sphere
3 slowly decrease the circumferece
4 stop 1mm above ground level
5 announce on space tv that sol 3 galactic retail park will be coming soon
6 luagh at my own genius

because even aliens need retail parks.
 

Yureina

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May 6, 2010
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I would quietly infiltrate their society, arrange for my minions to take leadership positions across the world, and so create a new order over the heads of the unsuspecting human population of control all in order to serve my indirect wishes.

Hmm... I wonder.
 

ObiDanKinobi

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Possible invasion tactics of another species upon planet Earth:-

All out attack ? Would require vast resources in order to mount such an attack, possible casualties could be high. Morally it is harsh and assuming there are forces in the universe that wish to protect life, the invading force would therefore face much more resistance/repercussions. As the actions of the invading force are in the light so to speak.
Conclusion = High energy cost ? Direct Route.

Subversion ? Infiltrate Earth with various ?agents?, get them assigned to positions of power and set the planet on a ?self-destruct? course. Instill corrupt systems such as capitalism the ?free?-market, e.t.c, thus creating anarchy, chaos, instability and panic on Earth and ultimately rendering it far easier to invade. Supplement this with a healthy dose of suggestive mind control, in order to subdue the population and essentially put them to sleep, and you have a formidable invasion strategy.
Utilize methods of propaganda in order to evoke uncomfortable/fearful subliminal/sub conscious thought patterns in the general populace. This could be achieved through various methods of influence, ranging from television and film industries, the music industry, written work and even the press.
Create a ?collective conscience? so as to back up your methods, by utilizing simple social conditioning tactics (or as I like to call it ?sheep syndrome?) (I.e if enough people say something is right then it becomes so). Anyone discovered thinking about this or questioning it, is subject to pre determined ridicule, and thus alienated from society.
Conclusion = Low energy Cost ? Indirect/Subtle Route.

Strategically this tactic is fairly sound as it is a subtle operation, that will not be easily determinable. It also has the added benefit of operating with plausible deniability. (For every course of action there is a possible underlying ulterior motive). Such plausible deniability has sadly been used in the world for a long time. Look for example at the current situation with the middle east to name but one such occurrence. Are we really routing the terrorists? Or simply accumulating valuable resources? (oil). If some of us say ?it's probably about the oil, and not routing the terrorists? then look at how quickly the rest say ?yeah conspiracy right....little green men beady beady beady?.
Granted linking such real-life occurrences (War on terror/oil) with my ideas for my book (alien invasions) is asking for trouble, but substitute the aliens for wordly forces if you wish, and you should still unfortunately find the general theory sound.

In conclusion many of the symptoms of an infiltration by an exterior force within our worlds society are already exhibiting themselves. Though not actually ?visible? (due to plausible deniability) logically they can be determined by analysing a set sequence of circumstances and deducing a percent chance of it resulting in the aforementioned scenario. Of course such things are merely speculation, but when you analyse such things, it would seem patterns and trends start to form.
Be mindful of such possibilities, not paranoid, but mindful.

- Obi Dan Kinobi =P.
 

Snarky Username

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I would probably just destroy all humans on the Earth and claim it for my species.

WINDOWCLEAN2 said:
I'd fire a giant laser into Morgan Freemans house....Without him, there is NO earth.
You sick bastard...
 

ObiDanKinobi

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THE LIFESTREAM (Ideas for book)

We are all born of the life-stream and one day when we have lived our life and our time on this planet draws to a close, we will return to it, taking with us our experiences, friendships and love. Like a stream branching off from a larger river we enter this world, and like a river returns to from whence it came so the circle of life continues. On entering this world we are plotted sometimes through murky waters, but just as water sometimes is polluted, so it can also be cleansed in science by the evaporation technique, or in the case of the life-stream, by the cleansing and refining of the soul. The river is in my opinion, a oneness, and knowledge of all things that were, that are and that are yet to be. Occasionally during this life you may be lucky enough to glimpse the life-stream, in those moments as children when for example running through a field of corn on a hot summers? day, you feel like for a fleeting instance you know a lot more than you can explain. Perhaps we are but conduits of energy encapsulated within our bodies, when a glass is broken that is filled with liquid, what happens to the liquid? Although it might seem to disappear it is actually dispersed from the container and through the process of evaporation is returned eventually to the oceans from whence it was born. Perhaps the same could be said of the human soul. If you did glimpse the life-stream perhaps you would have certain events that you have seen, come into fruition later in your life. A sense like it has almost happened before countless times. Perhaps it has. If we are merely conduits for energy then perhaps we can tune into other energy wavelengths (ESP possibly such things as telekinesis and telepathy) perhaps this is empathy. When we try to put ourselves in others situations to better understand out of love and compassion. Perhaps we are trying to be on the same wavelength in more sense than one. Perhaps I?m talking shit I don?t know.

Infinity. Does it exist? Whats at the end of it? Are we as humans limited by how we think? Perhaps logicality cannot explain such a thing as infinity. Yet maybe chaos can explain it better. Can ?chaos? be interpreted logically? If we can interpret ?chaos? logically we may be able to realise what infinity is. Nothing and everything?Define nothing. Is it possible for something to go on forever? It is possible to contemplate that something might never begin so why is it not possible to understand that it could go on forever. Forever is a scary concept. As is nothingness.

Free your mind? If the mind is free then it is out of control and that which is out of control is unpredictable. Unpredictability is the essence of chaos?.Is a totally free mind a good idea? For the mind to be free but the world full of constructs around it would only bring confusion possibly. So totally freeing your mind is probably a bad idea. Because of the human conscience and right and wrong. A totally free mind would not be able to differentiate between right and wrong. A filtered mind would possibly be better? To let the mind run free in sense of good things, but to filter and block those that are not good?A firewall for the mind? Haha who knows I?m bored and postulating and hypothesising on my lunch break?yippee ki yay! Perhaps I am limited by thinking about such things bilaterally, such things are perhaps beyond human comprehension. It will be an interesting day when our race finally becomes able to comprehend such things truly.


The Lifestream is love. A pure light that cannot be explained on this plane?s clouded reality. A true peace within and for every other living organism throughout the universe. Perhaps this is the Buddhist idea of enlightenment? A realisation of the lifestream. Speculation admittedly. Perhaps the disease is not the humans that inhabit this world. But the world itself. Corruption and deception seem to rule with an iron fist. Material things. The want for power and more power, which when used un-responsibly can cause great disharmony amongst people. When used appropriately, great power can also be used to bring great peace and love to others. Perhaps the scale is temporarily tipped towards misuse. I have confidence that this will be remedied shortly though. Such is the concept of ?hope?.

There is more than meets the eye to this world, than at first seems. Riptides and undercurrents surround us, sway us, move us, and sometimes even pull us under. Although the surface of the ocean may appear calm and serene. Beneath it is a swirling multitude of forces pulling in various directions. Perhaps the same could be said of the world around us. Forces are at work which lie beneath the visible surface. Politics e.t.c. In order to survive a strong rip tide out at sea, you must first become a competent swimmer. If you splash about wasting all your energy with no sense of direction then you will get no where pretty quickly. Save your energy. Focus. Ask for assistance and find your direction. Once you know where your heading never give in?no matter how far the rip current pulls you back out to sea?If that way doesn?t work find a different way. With enough guts and determination, resilience and hope you will find yourself back on the shore eventually. Perhaps the same could be said of life in general.

Alien life and does it exist? If alien life (extra terrestrial entities) does exist then who is to say that we ourselves are not aliens to this planet on which we are inhabiting? Who is to say that this planet itself is not a sanctuary of different life from different planets? It could be an experiment. We could be test subjects. Even if that is the case and we are undergoing a test of some-sort. It is my belief that even though we may be manipulated e.t.c that God is good and the creator of all life in the universe including aliens e.t.c ~So perhaps we can only hope that some good alien forms come to fight the manipulative ones. Good vs Evil? Perhaps this is a limited conceptualisation. But is it? Conscience. What is it? A set of laws and rules programmed into our D.n.a? In order to combat our self destructive nature? If so. This would prove that God does care about us, and that he has given us all the ability to choose to try and do the right thing. I like that idea. Is conscience different for individuals or exactly the same? Perhaps we are limited as humans for a reason. Power without control would only bring essentially chaos.

If aliens did come to this planet under peaceful purposes how would we tell they were peaceful and not here to manipulate? Paranoia? Trust? Which would it be? Perhaps this is the reason no such life would contact us. We would have to assume that if aliens had reached our planet they would be far superior in intellect to us humble earth dwellers. In this instance the best way of making contact e.,t.c would be to infiltrate earth. Partly to learn but also to take those manipulative ones out of power. A behind the scenes alien power struggle. Are we really worth such effort? Who knows. All speculation. We can only hope that if they aren?t already here, The good ones who wish to protect and cherish life make it here first.

Mitochondria. The power plant of organic cells. Perhaps this is the key to unlocking great power and knowledge. Mitochondrial D.n.a. A different D.n.a than our own belonging to the various mitochondrial cells that are in various organisms including but not limited to the human body. Has any research been done into trying to decipher this different form of D.n.a?. It is said that mitochondrial Eve is the first woman to exist, and that through female D.n.a this is a constant ?secret? that is always passed down through the female maternal line. (A life-stream of sorts). The fact that Mitochondrial D.n.a is a totally different ?code? to our regular d.n.a strands implies the possibility that we could (the human race) be symbiotic with another life form that we do not yet comprehend. Perhaps this would explain evolution. If we were to harness this genetic knowledge source, God only knows what sort of power and secrets would be disclosed. (Pandora?s Box?) Has our d.n.a got so evolved that we can ?evolve? within our own lifetimes? Do we pass ?genetic memories? on to our children? It is feasible to hypothesise, that as we as humans become more intelligent, the reason this is so is because our D.n.a is possibly getting more intelligent also? How can chemical code become more intelligent? Again my human mind is constrained and restricted by boundaries. It feels like the answers are out there, within a hands grasp, I don?t know why I say that, that?s just how it feels I guess.

Precognition. The ability to see the ?future?. Perhaps we as humans (the human intellect) is becoming more powerful now than we actually realise. Perhaps we are only using a small percentage of our brains in tests (Cat-scan) e.t.c. I think that the other 80 per cent or so is actually working constantly, it is calculating, predicting and modelling the world around us. Simulating if you will, possible outcomes and reactions to our own influence on this world. Perhaps this is where dreams come in. Such dreams as predicting things that happen, could simply be the brain working subconsciously on possible outcomes subject to certain set conditions.(a.l.a the way computers simulate such things as nuclear bombs, flight simulators e.t.c, with many different variables, perhaps the human brain is becoming so powerful its starting to be able to model the ever-changing world around us?, to an extent at least anyways? =-P) The human mind is a powerful tool. Again just theory but it?s good to think over such things every once in a blue moon.

- ObiDanKinobi =P
 

ObiDanKinobi

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Thought i'd share another of my random essays with you dudes/dudettes =P. Realise it might be perceived as somewhat preachy, but thats not the intention man, just thought id share some general ideas i guess. =).
Whereever you are in life, no matter how dark it might seem, know that there is always hope and light at the end of the tunnel, and that the forces of light will always prevail over darkness.

The Human rat-race

Why is the human race called the human race? Is life really a race? What are we racing towards so quickly? Getting old? Death? Seems a bit stupid to be racing towards death to me, for this reason i shall stubbornly consider "the human race" to be a wholly inappropriate name for our species, and as such shall endeavour to not title it so in future.

What makes a human being a human being? What is humanity? If you keep saying "human" a few times why does it not even sound like a word anymore?, it sounds almost Chinese in origin. I think there are a few distinct traits that make a human being a human being, and not a parasite (although parasites do share at least one good human trait, that i shall elaborate on further in these apparent ramblings).

So what (in my humble opinion) makes a "human being"?

Love - To love one another regardless of our differences, to try to understand the differences that each of us have, to help each other throughout life, rather than trip each other up, But most fundamentally i think to truly love is to put others in front of ourselves.

Compassion - To put ones self/mind in another fellow humans situation, to "feel what they feel" out of love and empathy. To share their pain and to help to ease their burden. To be compassionate towards others that are in pain/suffering or in a worse situation than ourselves, this i think is part of what it means to be human.

Respect - To show respect to our fellow human beings is an important thing, Respect i feel is born out of love and compassion, and i think it is the ability to consider others thoughts and feelings to be equal to our own, regardless of whether or not we agree with them ;) Too little respect can be a bad thing, but as can too much. Too much respect unduly awarded could be considered to overly inflate our fellow human's ego. And there is truly nothing uglier than an overinflated ego. *note - Perhaps though i am wrong about this,as maybe too much respect is never a bad thing, and to judge the respect that you show to others as 'over-inflating' their ego, could maybe considered somewhat judgemental, and thus un-cool/non-triumphant. =P

Humbleness - We are all equals in this world. The world wants you to think that this is not so, it wants to tempt you with power (Money, over-Inflated ego, E.t.c) and then try and get you to use that power over your fellow human beings (to further only yourself). I say to you rather than see whatever good things life awards you with, as "power" or an asset to only yourself, instead see them as a "responsibility to others".
If the wholy ;) righteous dude that is Jesus is willing to wash the smelly feet of his follower dudes, and if you consider Jesus to be son of God, (and even if you don't =) then be cool to each other as we are all equals and no man/woman should be considered above another. Treat your fellow human beings with the respect they deserve, whether they be a street urchin or the king/queen of England.

Faithfulness / Trust / Truth - Whether in terms of God or man/woman, faith and trust in God/each other, is i think, an extremely important asset to have.
When in a relationship it is important to know that your other half is faithful to you, as otherwise seeds of doubt are easily planted in your mind. And seeds of doubt when given a mild sprinkling of paranoia, quickly bloom into little tiny seedlings of uncertainty, these seedlings of uncertainty if not plucked out, will grow up into fully grown flowers of despair, whose cruel pollen will then breed more flowers of despair, and give rise to a whole field of nasty little evil flowers. And that is totally not cool.
Sooooo....
What plants seeds of doubt? Lies for one. However seemingly small or trivial will always plant seeds of doubt.
Par Exampler...
Well he/she lied about that, so maybe their lying about where they were, or who they were with e.t.c. And so i cannot stress the importance of trying (*trying at first, if you are prone to a bit of fiberaci ;) to tell the truth, at all times, even when it does not benefit yourself. Otherwise you are perhaps unwittingly planting little seeds of doubt into your loved ones sub-conscious, and this will just not do, if you love them and want to stay with them, which im sure you do. =P. These weeds of doubt when enough have been planted will try to undermine any tree of trust that is growing in your proverbial gardens. =P. Be aware of this.

Hope / Resilience - Resilience is, i think, "Hopes" tougher more bad-ass big brother. It could be said, in my humble opinion, that in its rawest form, it is the will to live. Perhaps "resilience" is the protector of its little brother "hope" =P.
Resilience is the fighting spirit that keeps us going no matter how tough the going gets, no matter how dark it gets, no matter how painful, with true resilience, you will keep fighting until your last breath. Parasites though also have resilience, so what sets us aside from parasites?
When you combine love with resilience you get something very special. You get the ability to withstand great oppression, to stand against your enemies even when your legs are all gnarly and broken and you are outnumbered 100 to 1. Why? To do what is right. To defend those that cannot defend themselves.
Add younger brother "hope" to this mix, and you will know, that you will not lose, even though it seems the odds are stacked 1,000,000 to 1 against you. Not only that but you will face your enemies with a smile on your face, a middle finger extended in their general direction and a glint in your eye.
Looking death straight in the eye and saying "that all you got?", to protect the innocent, to love each other, and to try to do what is right and just.

Human beings though are far from perfect. We are easily tempted by things. We make mistakes and take paths in life that are not cool. We can be envious or jealous of others. Negative traits can start to consume us if we are not careful, which lead to bad feelings, and these can spread to affect others also. To prevent this from happening - perhaps as Jesus generally said, *disclaimer* might not be his exact words though (dont wanna get smited or anything man;). More than anything love one another, as it covers over a multitude of sins. And to be fair the dude is kinda talking sense. =P.

You only really get stronger by swimming up a stream, its far easier to give up and go downstream with the current, but if your a koi carp and you happen to make it to the top of the stream, then apparently you become a dragon, which is kinda awesome. Haha and so ends pointless mini-fish story.

The only person your really competing with in life, is yourself, so hey dudes/dudettes, less of the human rat-race and more of the human-chilledness please. ;)

- End.

ObiDan Kinobi
 

swolf

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May 3, 2010
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reg42 said:
The only possible thing aliens could want with us is
A) Raw materials, which they would only need if they were running out, which is entirely possible
B) Slavery
This^ and I would start by doing a mind control (probably through gas or something). That way I can just walk in without resistance. I know, lazy answer, but it would be the simplest solution.