If you were an evil overlord, who or what would you use for henchmen?

[waj9876]

Every able-bodied citizen/creature/construct, magical, mechanical, or biological in nature, with enough intelligence to follow directions. No distinctions will be made between them, they can all ascend the ranks to become one of my council of twelve most trusted lieutenants. Natural selection will make sure only the best of the best make it up the chain of command that far.

I may be an evil overlord, but I am a practical, pragmatic evil overlord. First order of business, see a therapist to get rid of any nasty habits that may make me an incompetent overlord. No power trips, no sadistic tendencies, abolish the death penalty for all except...I don't know, the kind of people that would rape a baby to death. (Which happened last year. And the world if forever a more shitty place because of it.)

Basically, search for "Tvtropes Evil Overlord List." That. I would be that.

 

[Ninjamedic]

I'd genetically engineer Daleks with an undying loyalty to me to serve as my main army. Think about it, near-immunity to conventional weaponry, hyper intelligent, fully disciplined and dedicate all of their free time to come up with ways to annihilate my enemies. I can then create my version of The Dominion with less irrational xenophobia and more focus on actual threats.

The only way that could be more terrifying if the world was burning around him and if he was covered in blood! IT'S PERFECT!

Your move.

 

[shootthebandit]

Spoiler: giant fucking wasps

If you dont think the idea of 1 million of these isnt terrifying then you are a liar

 

[KingDragonlord]

Mind controlled Superheroes. Not Supervillains.

Sure eventually the mind control will be broken and my plans ruined but that doesn't mean I can't enjoy a nice long rule. I'll just have a time machine on hand so that they don't have to overthrow me right away to restore status quo. I can rule for a thousand years and the narrative demand for status quo restoration inherent in serial drama can be satisfied by them using the time machine to go back and warn their present day contemporaries.

In the meantime, I would have no real resistance, a powerful army at my command with relatively few members to keep track of, and its always amusing to watch what superheroes do when they're evil. Superman would be putting cats into trees everywhere.

 

[RariShyZealot]

Replicators! Hive-minded metal bits that can form almost any shape imaginable, and the only thing able to defeat them they can make themselves immune to.

Spoiler

 

[Thomas Barnsley]

Xenomorphs.

Only so I can finally be the one to not skrew up while trying to domesticate them.

 

[Drizzitdude]

Well if I can have an army of any one thing as henchmen then I choose Artorias of the Abyss

Reasons
* He looks the part of evil with the dark blue
* Greatsword he swings with one hand
* Greatshield that can block magic
* Incredibly Agile]
* Can fire abyss magic, allowing for both ranged and melee
* Has a giant wolf for a bff
* Let me break that down for you again. A GIANT! WOLF! WITH A GREATSWORD!

 

[Storm Dragon]

Gotta go with dragons. With a legion of dragons at my command, I'd be unstoppable. The armies of the world will surrender or burn! The leaders of each nation will kneel or be devoured! All will pay tribute to the Lord of Dragons! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

 

[TBman]

human-mantis shrimp hybrids

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5FEj9U-CJM

 

[StormDragonZ]

If I was an evil overlord, everyone would be my henchman.

I mean, who would be foolish enough to try and stop me! Mwa ha ha ha ha ha!!!

However, my greatest and most loyal henchmen would be the Axem Rangers.

 

[Timedraven 117]

My own creation of German speaking badasses equipped with state of the Art weapons, teleportation, and replacing their vocal cords with sonic screeches so they scream at people like hawks and the effect is akin to a flash bang. Male and Female too! After all, work place equality is a must for every super villain.

 

[Binkan]

Hmm an army of something awesome...Maybe Reapers because when im done conquering the US i'll go for the Universe and i'll be the Lord of everything

...Or maybe an army of...Killer rabbits from The Holy Graal by monthy Pyton, i mean that rabbit doesn't take shit from anyone except that grenade:/

 

[FPLOON]

Uh... Can't I just have cloned versions of myself?

I can only trust myself to do my dirty work... plus I have a hard time trusting anyone else to be my henchmen...

 

[Dirkie]

For a non-combat role?
Number 2 from austin powers. Excellent financial insight without loosing the "evil" spirit of things by investing in mcdonalds, starbucks and other shady enterprises without any of it being illegal but highly profiatable.

Killer robot? HK-47 from The Old Republic.

Anything else i have to think about.

 

[Dango]

Cats.

Armies and armies of cats.

 

[bdeamon]

the undead form Mogworld. Those guys knew what they were doing.

 

[FalloutJack]

MassaCorp Industries features a great deal of minions in its repertoire, ranging from the robotic to the magical and some points in between. We offer a great variety in ground and air troops for you to crush your enemies to tiny bits with.

Our greatest foot soldier is...The Slayer.

A simply-named form of faceless minion, Slayers are dark humanoids whose bodies have the consistance of shell-armor, being considered humanoid, but not remotely human, as they are essentially armor with a single gleaming red eye. They are, in fact, not alive but specialized manifested spirit-beings created by the Lord of the Brethren to share in his power. The tri-bladed pole-arm weapon, known as a Striker, fires beams and bolts of the the evil one's Dark Power, thereby making them all Bosses In Mook Clothing. Upon shattering a Slayer's form, the creature generates it - an astral parasite - will find the nearest living body and attach to it to take control and eventually repower itself enough to form a new Slayer body. (NOTE: Flying, phasing through walls, and other spirit-like powers are also available for this minion.)

 

[Insideout Ink Demon]

an army of Dwaine "the Rock" Johnsons
Come at me!

 

[Little Woodsman]

Well when this thread pops up occasionally I usually answer winged elvish catgirl bellydancers. My reasoning is that most places would be *begging* us to conquer them.
But in my current frame of mind I'm gonna say Disney Princesses. The ones who go in to eternal slumber waiting for a prince to rescue/kiss them will be used as doorstops. The ones that punch their enemies in the face themselves or hit people with frying pans or have phenomenal magical abilities will be sufficient to overcome any force that opposes us. Don't believe me? Watch *any* of the films.
As an added bonus this group of hench-persons will randomly burst in to song (mwa ha ha ha ha ha haa).
And I want to be on hand if/when

Spoiler: spoilers for Once Upon A Time

The Little Mermaid stabs someone in the neck with a salad fork!