If you were an evil overlord, who or what would you use for henchmen?
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Shameless copy/paste of my answer from back in June to the same question:
I'd probably go with the Minion army of the Overlord series. Sure I'd be little more than a pawn for an elder minion, certain to find someone to replace me once I get killed, the heroes thinking my death equates to their victory, thus giving him enough time to Find A Way, as it were, but going around killing, burning, and looting with a small army of brown, red, green, and blue goblin things is pretty good fun.
Alternatively, a swarm of giant, burning, tarantula-clown-wasps that explode on contact with their targets. The stingers, fangs, and seltzer bottles would all be just for show, I would have a colossal swarm of fiery, flying bombs around me at all times. This way, when the hero is pointing his weapon at me while I'm bleeding on the ground (Bad guys never win and all that, a rule I will respect) and asking if I have any last words, I can say "Yes. SWARM, TO ME!!" And blow us both to hell.
I'd probably go with the Minion army of the Overlord series. Sure I'd be little more than a pawn for an elder minion, certain to find someone to replace me once I get killed, the heroes thinking my death equates to their victory, thus giving him enough time to Find A Way, as it were, but going around killing, burning, and looting with a small army of brown, red, green, and blue goblin things is pretty good fun.
Alternatively, a swarm of giant, burning, tarantula-clown-wasps that explode on contact with their targets. The stingers, fangs, and seltzer bottles would all be just for show, I would have a colossal swarm of fiery, flying bombs around me at all times. This way, when the hero is pointing his weapon at me while I'm bleeding on the ground (Bad guys never win and all that, a rule I will respect) and asking if I have any last words, I can say "Yes. SWARM, TO ME!!" And blow us both to hell.
Thats a good choice I guess.Caramel Frappe said:.. Black Knights from Dark Souls.
These guys don't mess around. They're so loyal to their lord that they'll fight dragons head on and even when scorched in the fire- they'll return with dignity, their armors blackened by the fire itself. They're very tough due to their massive sizes and range from carrying large swords, greatswords, axes, and spears.
Why are they the perfect minions? They'll stand on guard for centuries and will seek out whatever target you've assigned them too even if they must aimlessly wonder the Earth in search for said target. A legion of these guys would be deadly indeed.
But there are far worse things in Lordran that would make wonderful henchman!
So I picked Lordran's finest.
Hehehehehe
PREPARE TO CRY, YOUR EVIL OVERLORD'S ARMY HAS COMETH!!!
Well, I have a plan. No matter what my henchman army is, I want self destruct systems on all of them. Or like, bombs sewn into their hearts if they're organic. Gotta make sure they can't stab me in the back, right? Too many times do henchmen betray their leader. It's downright rude.
As for someone specific... Hmm... How about the Monobeasts? Monokuma included
http://lpix.org/1024636/011-monobeasts.png
Nothing is going to stand in my way! Mwahahaha
As for someone specific... Hmm... How about the Monobeasts? Monokuma included
http://lpix.org/1024636/011-monobeasts.png
Nothing is going to stand in my way! Mwahahaha
Given that I'm completely evil in this scenario I'd have to go with slave children.
An army of kids trained as efficiently as the soldiers in 300 and sent off to fight at the youngest viable age possible. Ideally between 8-12. Who really wants to kill thousands of children in order to get to me?
Glad I'm not evil.
An army of kids trained as efficiently as the soldiers in 300 and sent off to fight at the youngest viable age possible. Ideally between 8-12. Who really wants to kill thousands of children in order to get to me?
Glad I'm not evil.
)
Extremely tough, can link with smaller sectoids to create an energy shield and possess two plasma mini cannons.
My assumption here is that I have manifested Psionic powers and have wrested control over the mechtoids and sectoids from the alien commanders. I would then use my new minions to crush the alien invasion and harnessing their technology I would conquer the world.
I would outlaw psionic testing so that I'm the only one who would ever have the power to control my armies. I'll never have to fear my soldiers rebelling or exhibiting "free will". Once my physical body starts to decay I'll transfer myself into a mech suit so that I can rule forever!
Being evil, I believe in highest efficiency. I tend not to fuck around. So for henchmen I would choose to use thermonuclear artillery.
Alright, in a pinch massive scale bio weaponry works well too for when you have pricks standing in the way of what you want but you do not want to have to scorch the earth in order to obtain it after they are gone. Besides inflicting horrendous inhuman suffering is always fun for chits and giggles.
Why waste time with ineffectual subordinates that only serve to be your weakest link when its much more practical to simply eliminate anything and everything that stands in the way of what you want
Alright, in a pinch massive scale bio weaponry works well too for when you have pricks standing in the way of what you want but you do not want to have to scorch the earth in order to obtain it after they are gone. Besides inflicting horrendous inhuman suffering is always fun for chits and giggles.
Why waste time with ineffectual subordinates that only serve to be your weakest link when its much more practical to simply eliminate anything and everything that stands in the way of what you want
Kobolds; they're like goblins, but they eat less and don't rape captives unless ordered. With modern weapons if in a modern setting, and primitive explosives if not. Also encourage them to lay traps, lay all the traps, just report directly to my lieutenant after to get the location and trigger properly documented.
My only issue would be getting nuked in the early days or having a chosen one teenage boy somehow defeat me using the powers of friendship and confidence.
tl;dr: My henchmen would be the Zerg swarm.
As inept as he was in the cartoons, I think Cobra Commander had the right idea: no genitals for anybody.... that and having a small cadre of very overspecialized elites. That way you have brains to get stuff done but nobody in a position to take over.
Why, being completely evil, I'd choose the only minions suitable for such an evil.
Chickens. But no ordinary chickens:
That's right, fire breathing demon chickens! OF DOOOOOOOOOM!!!
Chickens. But no ordinary chickens:
That's right, fire breathing demon chickens! OF DOOOOOOOOOM!!!
