If you woke up in the same bed as the above avatar.

[TheDoctor455]

I am not a smurf.

I am the Nameless One... an immortal HUMAN.

Now then...
I have gathered you all here today at the Lady of Pain's request, she will be attending to you in a moment. In the meantime... here is some "ice-cream cake".

EDIT:
Damn it! Triple-ninja'd!

The Lady of Pain will know about this, and this will go down on your permanent records.

 

[Best of the 3]

Yeah right. And next you will tell me that your other avatar was not a rock garden. How silly Mr Smurf.

EDIT: Is it even possible to be ninja'd by the guy you were trying to talk to? 0_o

 

[TheDoctor455]

All right, look Best...
Here is a picture of an ACTUAL smurf: http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTY3_wy_8rYJB3CLazEXLsrk3SZLfBc-NoRDX_gAjJQT9nEobse

This is the Nameless One as he appears in promo art: http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSN8OzyTCHY4PGqV04zE8tOO8wXtBH_JRkloWSnGMPDUs0o3BZeUw

And here he is as he appears in-game (sort of): http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcT4jkl1j7P31RZqiM1cVqz9p7jqR3nfHv4f4br8QJGdXj3DsooYXw

See the difference? Good. If not, you have to die now for your obvious racism.

OT:
You owe me some "cake" for all of this... otherwise I might have to sue.

 

[Best of the 3]

Snipity snip snip

Spoiler: Ummm... Mr Smurf...

You mad?

 

[TheDoctor455]

No... this... is... what...I...sound...like...when...I'm...irritated...now...stop...posting...that...crap...about...me...already.

 

[Best of the 3]

But... it's... still... funny... to... me...

Fine I'll stop, for now. What should I cal you then Mr Smurf?

 

[TheDoctor455]

I answer to "Nameless One", "Nameless" and "chief".
Take your pick.

Now then...
I take it you didn't have any luck at the bar last night... and would you please stop trying to bake cupcakes in here? The cleaning bill keeps going up because of that.

 

[Best of the 3]

So you don't answer to Mr Smurf so if I call you that you won't fight back?

That's cool with me. Instead of "Chief" can I call you Papa Smurf instead then?

And do you want a cupcake?

 

[TheDoctor455]

So you don't answer to Mr Smurf so if I call you that you won't fight back?

That's cool with me. Instead of "Chief" can I call you Papa Smurf instead then?

And do you want a cupcake?

No, you can't call me anything that is a reference to the Smurfs or the movie Avatar (the one on Pandora).

And... that depends... what kind of cupcake is it?

 

[Best of the 3]

Blueberry

Then can I just call you buttercup?

 

[TheDoctor455]

No, because it doesn't make any sense.

And... sure... I'll take a blueberry cupcake... let me just test its contents first (mutters a spell)

...
HEY you put a polyjuice potion in here!
Was this meant to turn me into a smurf?

 

[Best of the 3]

Ok then, can I just call you Petunia? THey come in shades of blue.

And you is just paranoid >.>

 

[Fury Is Me.]

You all DIE.

 

[Ashsaver]

ํYES, YOU ALL DIE!

...after my foots massage.

 

[Best of the 3]

Good god, it's the Ass Shaver. How have you been? And I dare to ask, what have you been doing?

 

[TheDoctor455]

Ok then, can I just call you Petunia? THey come in shades of blue.

And you is just paranoid >.>

No, you can't call me Petunia... you can call me "Doc" however.
And... that's it...
(uses arcane arts to mind-fuck Best into never wanting to make fun of my avatar's blueish skin)

OT:
Umm... Ashsaver... you know the Nameless One can't die right?
So... hang on...
is your avatar male or female, I just can't tell...

 

[Best of the 3]

Ok then, can I just call you Petunia? THey come in shades of blue.

And you is just paranoid >.>

No, you can't call me Petunia... you can call me "Doc" however.
And... that's it...
(uses arcane arts to mind-fuck Best into never wanting to make fun of my avatar's blueish skin)

I was never making fun of you.

-.- <------ see that. My serious face Mr Smurf.

 

[TheDoctor455]

Ok then, can I just call you Petunia? THey come in shades of blue.

And you is just paranoid >.>

No, you can't call me Petunia... you can call me "Doc" however.
And... that's it...
(uses arcane arts to mind-fuck Best into never wanting to make fun of my avatar's blueish skin)

I was never making fun of you.


-.- <------ see that. My serious face Mr Smurf.

All right, that's it.
The mind-fuckery truce is off!

(mind-fucks Best into thinking that they are a French-English-Pig Latin pocket dictionary)

Have fun with that.

 

[Best of the 3]

Tu est le Papa Smurf. XD

Tally-ho ol' bean!

EDIT: Yes I failed French miserably. Sorry for any languages I am about to murder and shove through a wood chipper.

 

[Fury Is Me.]

Urge to obliterate things... rising.