If you woke up in the same bed as the above avatar.

[TheDoctor455]

*clean stukov up with rag found in his cabinet*

hmmm...wait a minute...this is....thong....you wear this?

No, that's Doc's.

Find a way to get me more cybernetics doc.
I'll even pay you.

I do not wear thongs.

And...
Well... there is one chance that you could get a few more cybernetic enhancements... but you're not going to like it.

 

[Admiral Stukov]

*Doges*
Everything went just as planned.

Well... there is one chance that you could get a few more cybernetic enhancements... but you're not going to like it.

Oh?

 

[TheDoctor455]

*Doges*
Everything went just as planned.

Still want those enhancements?

Yes?

Okay...

*knocks Stukov out, applies the enhancements*

There... now you can't talk or drink alcohol of any kind any more.

 

[Admiral Stukov]

*wakes up*
*takes a drink*
Wow, this protoss Nano-Serum is amazing.

 

[scorptatious]

Oh god. I'm having flashbacks to that fan drawing of the ME2 squad at the beach. Mordin was wearing a speedo. >_<

 

[TheDoctor455]

*wakes up*
*takes a drink*
Wow, this protoss Nano-Serum is amazing.

Actually... those are Reaper nanites in your system now.

I have this remote here, and you have to do everything I say.

Now go explain to Ash that those were not my thongs.

And that we all know that they were yours.

 

[scorptatious]

Not if I have anything to say about it.

Fight it Stukov! Don't end up like Saren!

 

[TheDoctor455]

Not if I have anything to say about it.

Fight it Stukov! Don't end up like Saren!

Shut up!

He's not going to try and destroy the galaxy.
He's just going to fix a problem he created for me.
Then I'll let him go.

 

[Admiral Stukov]

I figure that the remote signal still uses radiowaves, as everything else in the Mass Effect universe, and require a comm buoy for FTL communication.

So I'll just take the Aleksander and pay a visit to the Protoss, their medical tech is more advanced than yours anyway.

 

[ShockValue]

Hehe, always funny to see you two go at it like this.

 

[Admiral Stukov]

I blame everything on doc.

 

[scorptatious]

Me too. He really should have been more assertive about the vodka thing.

 

[Admiral Stukov]

I've quit the vodka! Why wont anyone believe me!?

 

[ShockValue]

Because what you just said is impossible...

 

[Admiral Stukov]

There are other kinds of liquor!

 

[ShockValue]

...that is true. Guess you won't be needing all this vodka then.

 

[Admiral Stukov]

Baby steps, you know. I'll quit one kind of liquor at a time.
I'll be completely sober in about a century.

 

[ShockValue]

Hehe, if you say so Admiral.

 

[Admiral Stukov]

And since I plan to live forever or die trying, time won't be a problem.

 

[ShockValue]

And I guess I'll just take all that liquor off your hands...everyone wins.