If your significant other cheated...

[Chancie]

I'm taking a poll for a class, so I need honest opinions!

Here's the situation. Let's say your significant other cheated on you, but instead of finding out some dramatic way, they came clean and told you themselves.

1. Would it make a difference if they were honest enough to tell you themselves instead of hiding it from you? Would you be willing to work through it?
2. If not, is there anything that would convince you to work through it and continue the relationship? Or might there be any aspects about the relationship that would make you want to stay?
3. Are you male or female?

Thanks, guys!
Note: I know it really depends on the circumstances, but I mean in a general and hypothetical situation, if possible. Or, if anything, think about the relationship you're currently in now and apply it to this.

 

[MiracleOfSound]

Well, thing is every situation is different. Usually when people cheat it's a sign the relationship isn't really working so in 99% of cases I'd be out of there like a shot.

It would have to be a pretty extraordinary circumstance to make me take someone back after that.

 

[hiphop8004]

Me personally i wouldn't see the point of trying to work things out if shes not in love with you anymore, but if she is forgive her and move on(Male)

 

[Bara_no_Hime]

I'm taking a poll for a class, so I need honest opinions!
Here's the situation. Let's say your significant other cheated on you, but instead of finding out some dramatic way, they came clean and told you themselves.
1. Would it make a difference if they were honest enough to tell you themselves instead of hiding it from you? Would you be willing to work through it?
2. If not, is there anything that would convince you to work through it and continue the relationship?
3. Are you male or female?
Thanks, guys!

Well, considering that my sig-other and I have a standing rule that if we keep one another informed we can have sex with anyone we want, I'd say "Do you want me to make tacos for dinner?"

Cause, when I make tacos, I make epic amounts of them. Leftovers for days, unless we have company. And hopefully my sig-other would be bringing back some company. I always enjoy guests for dinner.

3) I am female.

Edit: And yes, the innuendo fairy did indeed bless that second paragraph with additional meaning. The part about guests for diner, not the tacos. I really do make great tacos.

Edit 2: Wow, a lot of unforgiving guys on this site. Mental note - don't date and then cheat on anyone who's posted on this thread so far. Except the guy who mentioned open relationships.

 

[DirgeNovak]

1. It would make a difference, but the romantic relationship would be over nonetheless.
2. Not in the short term.
3. Male

 

[SilentCom]

What if If I never had a significant other? I would assume this would diminish the validity of my opinion? Anyways, I want to say I would be willing to work it out but frankly I'm just not sure how it would go.

Edit: I am male.

 

[annilator666]

to me no if they were honest that still doesnt change the fact that they cheated if they did it once whats stopping them from doing it again id probably leave that person and not look back

PS im a guy

 

[FalloutJack]

{1} Since I've always been choosey about my significant other, I'm going to say yes and yes to both questions. Said person has trusted ME completely and now they're risking things by bearing all in front of me? I can't turn down someone like that. How many people actually have the courage to confess? The sort of person I chose, I would forgive.

{2} Well, I've sort of covered this in the first answer, so there's no need to reiterate or anything.

{3} I'm male. And, for clarification's sake, I'm also straight. (If that isn't relevant/allowed in your report, you can just edit that out.)

 

[MisterGobbles]

1. Yes, it certainly would be better for them to come clean about it than for them to hide it and you find out about it, but this on its own doesn't really affect much.

2. Prehaps in the future if I was involved enough with a girl, and the relationship was working out pretty damn well before she told me she was cheating, and I liked the girl enough to forgive her for it, I might consider letting the relationship continue. However, at the moment, I'm fucking 16 years old. If you cheat on me, your ass is getting dumped and then some.

3. I am male.

 

[Everin]

1. I would like to hear it from them personally, but it wouldnt change the fact that it would probably be over between us.
2. How can you still trust them when they obviously dont care for you in the same way you care for them?
3. Male
And it also depends on the circumstances, i mean, if they willingly did it, sober and all, then the relationship is done, but if someone got them drunk and then they cheated then maybe not so much. Id have to cross that bridge when i come to it, i guess.

 

[Link_to_Future]

Rawr...this totally isn't dredging up bad memories. Nope, not at all.

1. In my experience, it's better if they are honest upfront rather than having to catch them in the act. And seeing how I ended up still dating her even after I caught her going behind my back, I guess I'm stupid enough to work through it if they told me upfront too.

2. Two years ago, yeah, you might have been able to find something. Today? I don't have a fucking clue. I doubt there would be as much forgiveness in my heart anymore though.

3. I'm male.

Hope that helps. If the answers are too ambiguous then just let me know. I'll boil it down into more absolute and less subjective terms.

 

[Dr. Pepper Unlimited]

1. No, it would not make a difference. No, I would not be willing to work through it.
2. No, there is nothing you can do to fix it. I won't ever trust you ever again.
3. I am male.

Sounds harsh, but I've seen too many people cheat for me to ever forgive anyone. You cheat, you're gone. End of story.

 

[VivaciousDeimos]

1) I would respect him for telling me, and the parting might be more amicable, but the relationship would still end.

2) For me, honesty and trust are very important, and sometimes the first break in trust is all it takes and can't be repaired. Even if I said I forgave him, I know myself well enough to know that the tiny larvae of doubt would most likely be gnawing at the back of mind, and it would cast a shadow over everything he did; that wouldn't be fair to either of us.

3) Female.

 

[Mr Thin]

1. It would make a difference; I would actually listen to their explanation rather than ignore them. But I would still end the relationship. If they don't respect me enough to remain faithful, I'm not interested in pursuing a long-term relationship with them.

2. It's quite possible there is something that would convince me to stay and work through it; I can't think of anything, but then, I've not had much experience in such matters. And when I say 'not had much', I mean 'not had any'.

Perhaps mind-blowingly awesome sex? Even that wouldn't keep me around forever though.

I imagine if I was totally infatuated, I might blame myself for their unfaithfulness, and thus be more than willing to stay with them.

3. Male.

 

[deleted_by_strongbad]

1. It would matter to me if they told me, as that knocks it down to a personal failure on their part from betrayal. Depending on the circumstances (how the relationship was going, if they've done this before, why they cheated) I'd be willing to work it out.
2. depends on above, if they cheated due to moment of weakness I think we could try to work it out, if it was they weren't happy in the relationship it is time to let go.
3. Male

 

[Count Igor]

1. Yes, if they told me and were sorry, I'd likely forgive them, if I found out, then I'd have to think about it.

2. I likely would stay, as I only get into relationships when I feel so strongly about someone else. Though I'd probably be a bit depressed.

3. Male.

 

[iblis666]

yes it would make a difference but depending on the circumstances i dont know how much. well if she cheated on me with a woman i would be ok with it hell id probably ok with sharing her but if it was a man id have a few problems with it and it would really be a case by case basis but protection would be a must either way.

Male