If your significant other cheated...

[2718]

1. Would it make a difference if they were honest enough to tell you themselves instead of hiding it from you? Would you be willing to work through it?

This makes a lot of assumptions about my relationships. I have never understood romanitic jealousy, so any relationship I've been in have had no rules about sleeping/not sleeping with anyone else. Then again I've never "been in love" the way it's portrayed in various media. My relationships are either sexual or emotional, and I never mix the two. This is not out of choice, but simply how my psyche works. I have never felt an emotional attachment to a sexual partner, nor have I felt sexual attraction to a close friend. So wheter or not a partner has slept with someone else is really not a concern for me.

2. If not, is there anything that would convince you to work through it and continue the relationship? Or might there be any aspects about the relationship that would make you want to stay?

For me it is a complete turn-off when someone is clingy and wants some kind of monogamous relationship. I love my freedom more than any given sexual partner.

3. Are you male or female?

Female.

 

[Bernzz]

1-2: My girlfriend DOES cheat on me, relentlessly- and you know what I do, when I inevitably find out a few days later? Ask her what *I* did wrong.
I think I have a problem... But I can quit her, whenever I want... Yeah.

I know that she's not respecting me, at all, here, but I'm not very good at confrontations.

3: Male.

You do have a problem. That's not healthy. For your own health, I'd advise you to just end it. Stick up for yourself. I was never good at confrontations either, but at the start of last year something changed. Part of what made me change, was simply confronting someone. Maybe properly confronting your girlfriend about this (and I mean confronting, not asking what you did wrong) would help you with confrontations.

My guess is she's picked you as the type to not do anything about it, which is why she's cheating with reckless abandon. If you show people that you won't confront them, they'll take advantage of it and walk all over you. I should know, I used to be unable to confront people either, as I mentioned.

Confront her, tell her what she's done is not okay. Ask for a reason why, but never blame yourself.

Also, if she's cheating on you relentlessly? The relationship isn't gonna work, mate. Sorry.

And just to make sure, if I've offended you at all in my post, I didn't mean to. I just don't think that that's the kind of situation you should stay in.

 

[rockyoumonkeys]

It'd certainly be preferable that they were honest about it, but I can't see that it would make a difference in the end. Cheating is cheating, and it would almost certainly mean the end of the relationship. It's not really something I could work through because I'd always have it in the back of my mind that I was with someone who'd already proven they were willing to cheat, and would probably do so again.

 

[RobCoxxy]

1. Yes. Same with breakups, I'd rather hear the reason outright than some bs excuse and then find the ***** with someone else. Not bitter or anything, noooooooooooooo.
2. If I loved them, I would try and keep the relationship going. If I didn't.... well, I'd be more inclined to end it.
3. The one with the dangly bits

 

[Jedoro]

1. Would it make a difference if they were honest enough to tell you themselves instead of hiding it from you? Would you be willing to work through it?
Yes. If I find out without her telling me, she clearly wasn't sorry. If she was, she would've ended it and told me.
2. If not, is there anything that would convince you to work through it and continue the relationship? Or might there be any aspects about the relationship that would make you want to stay?
I'd only try if she told me. If I found out through other means, ***** is gone.
3. Are you male or female?
Male

 

[mastiffchild]

1.No.
2.No.
3.Male.

I'm married, have three kids and wouldn't even think twice about it-once you touch something it's broken and no bandaid will ever bring trust back. If they're interested enough in someone else to cheat then they aren't interested enough in me or keeping a stable home for us and ours either. Best to end it. Owning up just shows they, at least, have a bit of respect left but, clearly, not enough to keep their clothes on.

 

[Voodoo_Person]

For me the basis of a relationship is trust, if she cheated on me, I wouldn't be able to carry on a relationship because I wouldn't be able to trust her anymore, I've been hurt too many times in the past by people who I trusted going behind my back that it's a big thing for me to be able to trust anyone

Male by the way, in case you couldnt tell

 

[bdcjacko]

I got a divorce, that is what happened.

It doesn't matter, in mine mind how you find out, the trust is gone weather the tell you or you find out another way.

And if trust is gone in a relationship, there is no relationship.

I'm a dude.

 

[bdcjacko]

Well, I don't currently have one, but hypothetically, I could see myself forgiving her if she was honest about it. Of course, it depends on the exact circumstances, so...

1. Yes, it would make a difference.
2. Maybe
3. Male

Just pure curiosity. Have you ever had a serious relationship? I'm just interested is all, but do you think someone being honest about how the lied and where dishonest to you makes it ok? I just never understood how someone could forgive like that.

 

[DSQ]

1. Yes, i would then know the curcumstances and realise how hard it would be for them to tell me. But would I be willing to work through it? Maybe, it depeneds on the curcumstances. "She was handing it to me on a plate" is not one the excuses i buy. I it also depends on how long i had been dating them. How long a knew them. For example if i knew that he got very easily infulenced or affectionite while drunk then i may accept the "i was drunk" card. But i wouldn't date somone who got drunk regulary so...
2. --
3.female

 

[Slash Dementia]

1: If she ever did cheat on me, it would be over. It doesn't matter if she were to come clean, but I'd leave and never speak to her again. It doesn't matter how good of friends we are when we weren't together, I don't want to be cheated on again, and I know what cheating can cause because I've done it before and because of that outcome, I'll never do it again.

2: No, nothing would make me stay. I'm a faithful and very loyal person that would do almost anything for a friend of mine's happiness, but if you give me a harsh reason not to be, you're discarded from my life. And I doubt I'll look back. I can't forgive someone who cheats, and I would hope that my girlfriend feels the same as I do.

3: I'm a male.

 

[Kevlar Eater]

1. No.

2. No, because if I forgive her and let the relationship continue, she's gonna repetitiously take advantage of me and not tell me anything. Then she will no doubt get pregnant by another dude, attempt to trap me into a marriage and signing a birth certificate and then she'll run off with another dude and either leave me with the baby and move far away and then get a divorce, or keep the baby, divorce me and get the courts to force me to pay both alimony and child support while she's getting money from the dude she is with while slandering my name. I'm gonna be the bigger person and dump her ass to let her know I will not be taken advantage of.

3. Male.

 

[Exius Xavarus]

1. No
2. No
3. Male

I cannot and will not be with someone that is willing to cheat on me. If they were willing to cheat on you once, they're willing to cheat on you again.

 

[Antari]

1. No
2. Hell No
3. Male

If they are that thoughtless to either think of themselves entirely, or not think of you. Thats not a relationship.

 

[Chancie]

3.) Not sure why that should matter, so I'm just going to give 'no response'.

Simply because studies show girls are more forgiving than guys, and a part of this is to see if that might be considered true. Opposite genders react differently to just about everything.

 

[FamoFunk]

1. Would it make a difference if they were honest enough to tell you themselves instead of hiding it from you? Would you be willing to work through it? - No, I'd be gone. Cheating is cheating wether they're honest about it or not, they still did it.

2. If not, is there anything that would convince you to work through it and continue the relationship? Or might there be any aspects about the relationship that would make you want to stay? Nope, with me, everyone has one chance, if it's been fucked up by cheatng then that's it. Gamer over. I'm not looking like a fool staying with them.

3. Are you male or female?
Female

 

[aegix drakan_v1legacy]

(is a 22 year old guy, currently celebrating 2 months of dating the most awesome girl ever. My first relationship)

If my GF told me she cheated on me, I would first ask for how far she went, and for what reasons.

If she only went as far as kissing/making out, then I will let it slide as long as she doesn't ever go near that guy again.

If she actually slept with the guy....Then she's damn better have a good reason. Like...If she was caught in a moment of weakness and was taken advantage of (Ie, she was away from me and something terrible happened and then someone took advantage of that to get in with her, or something like that) then I would let it slide. Not lightly, but I'd let it slide.

If she did it for kicks (and she's not that type of person), or had some really stupid reason....Then I'm thinking it would be over. If there's some issue in the relationship that causes her to need someone else, you're supposed to talk about it and resolve it.

 

[Sandytimeman]

1. It probably would, if they told you themselves, it may show regret and a lapse in judgemet.

2. However they would have to really really make me believe that its sorry and that we could work on the relationship.

3. I'm a guy.

Generally speaking though, if they don't have the morals and self control to not cheat on me, I'm pretty much done though. It would have to be a spectacular confession and apology for me to even consider forgiveness or continued relationship.

And for future reference, if you cheat the answer will always be NO we can't be friends still, and NO that doesn't make me an asshole.

 

[irani_che]

drop em fast

men will cheat just because they are men, checking out a girl is reflexive, and from an evolutionary POV we can have multiple wives/girlfriends to have more kids.

women, alternatively, are hardwired to be monogamous, to a degree much larger than in men,
when a girl cheats it means the end. it means she would break up but the likes the lifestyle you give her