I'm not successful when it comes to the ladies.

[Fidchell Attano]

I'm a good looking guy, I'm smart, I'm athletic, I work out, I explore art, I'm cultured, and I am also a nerd.

Im a student in college, and I still haven't gotten laid. But the thing is, I don't care. Sure, I would love to get laid, but how about I meet a girl who actually can get me up there? I mean, my bud tells me I have to "expand my interest". I have already expanded my interest to reading, art (Even more than the first time). And, then transportation comes up.

Some girls I talk to don't believe me when I tell them I'm not successful with women, because of my appearance. My friend who is barely successful with women tells me all of this crud I gotta do, or I'm not gonna get what I want. But how can I take the mans advice seriously? He tells me he wants to "make love" not "have sex" and he is still just "having sex" but that's just it, if I just wanted to "have sex", I could just masturbate, and it doesn't cost a damn thing, and it isn't a chore to be around myself. I can say this, only girls whom I have shared mutual interest with, but nothing came of it were fun to be around.

I mean to get laid, do I have to start doing all of this crap I hate doing and spend all this cash for the possibility of sex? Sex by the way might not even be that good? I say fuck it, whatever, I'll actually TRY to turn these situations girls of whom I have mutual interest with into something more than just interest. I don't hang around people who bore me, let alone date them.

 

[DudeistBelieve]

Next time you talk to a girl, just whip it out.

Things will either go very well or very poorly. Either way you'll get a pretty clear indication where her head is at.

 

[Fidchell Attano]

Next time you talk to a girl, just whip it out.

Things will either go very well or very poorly. Either way you'll get a pretty clear indication where her head is at.

Too much tact to try that, but I'm glad we're tossing ideas around and not salads.

 

[DudeistBelieve]

Next time you talk to a girl, just whip it out.

Things will either go very well or very poorly. Either way you'll get a pretty clear indication where her head is at.

Too much tact to try that, but I'm glad we're tossing ideas around and not salads.

My serious advice is just to persue your own interests and eventually someone will come along. The deed is only worth doing with someone you care about anyway.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

You'll probably get a better feedback if you post this in the Advice Forum. And are you sure "you don't care"? The post is a bit... confusing. I've read it a couple of times and I'm still not sure what exactly is it you want. For what it's worth, don't make sex into a big issue, it's something that either happens or doesn't; and I'm afraid "doing all of this crap" is part of the being-in-love/dating game. Going out, staying in, buying dinner, whatever rocks your boat.

 

[rbstewart7263]

I'm a good looking guy, I'm smart, I'm athletic, I work out, I explore art, I'm cultured, and I am also a nerd.

Im a student in college, and I still haven't gotten laid. But the thing is, I don't care. Sure, I would love to get laid, but how about I meet a girl who actually can get me up there? I mean, my bud tells me I have to "expand my interest". I have already expanded my interest to reading, art (Even more than the first time). And, then transportation comes up.

Some girls I talk to don't believe me when I tell them I'm not successful with women, because of my appearance. My friend who is barely successful with women tells me all of this crud I gotta do, or I'm not gonna get what I want. But how can I take the mans advice seriously? He tells me he wants to "make love" not "have sex" and he is still just "having sex" but that's just it, if I just wanted to "have sex", I could just masturbate, and it doesn't cost a damn thing, and it isn't a chore to be around myself. I can say this, only girls whom I have shared mutual interest with, but nothing came of it were fun to be around.

I mean to get laid, do I have to start doing all of this crap I hate doing and spend all this cash for the possibility of sex? Sex by the way might not even be that good? I say fuck it, whatever, I'll actually TRY to turn these situations girls of whom I have mutual interest with into something more than just interest. I don't hang around people who bore me, let alone date them.

well you can do what I do and have "honest lays" It requires essentially finding that rare woman that doesnt mind casual sex but also doesnt want to play games to get there.

 

[Darken12]

Desperation is a major turn-off. Don't go out to get laid. Go out to have a good time. If sex happens, it's a plus. If it doesn't, you still had a good time. Go out to make new friends, meet interesting people, learning new things, doing fun things (whatever floats your boat; it can be anything from a poetry reading to barhopping to a nightclub to LARPing to whatever else is both social and fun).

People like being around someone who's fun to be around. The sexual chemistry can't do its thing if people don't find you appealing to be around.

 

[Guffe]

I'm smart, I'm athletic, I work out, I am also a nerd.

But the thing is, I don't care. Sure, I would love to get laid,

I've got this too pretty much.

I work out, am average smart and maybe not bad looking but most tell me my body looks at least good.
SO where's the problem?
I don't take stress over the fact that I don't have a girlfriend. I've had one or two you can count as starts to a relationship but nothing major.
I don't need it in my life at the moment and am fine with my life as it is. If I happen to find a girl that I like and she likes me and it leads to something then so be it, but right now a sort of "fairy tale thing" like "love at first glance" or something would have to happen
I'm just enjoying life as it comes and enjoying working out and studying.

 

[knight steel]

I'm 19 and have never had a girlfriend-I"m desperate and needy-that's just the kind of person I am-I have a lot of self esteem/social interaction issues which have caused this to occur-add to this the fact that I went to all all boy's schools with no after school activities and you get someone who will probably never have a partner .

In short I have absolutely no idea how to help you get a girlfriend-however if all you're interested in is having sex there are lots of brothels/prostitutes/one night stands that are easily available to you on both the webs and outside if you wish to have intercourse.

 

[ShipofFools]

Don't worry, OP. It seems hard now, but you never know when everything may change. Just keep on doing the things you like, and, yes, be yourself.
It's cliché, but it's true. One day, you'll meet someone and then everything changes.

That's life, man.

 

[Guitarmasterx7]

Go to a bar, meet a girl and get drunk with her. Not get a chick drunk, that's weird and rapey. Get drunk with her. Don't buy her drinks either. If she still drinks with you she wants the D. Give her what she wants. There you go.

I think honestly your trouble is confidence issues. I'm not super attractive. I'm skinny and I grow facial hair pretty well so I'd say I'm maybe slightly above average. I started acting like I was super attractive and got laid all the time and for some reason that made me come off as super attractive and I ended up getting laid all the time. That's seriously all you have to do. Like go into it almost ironically. "Yeah I could totally bang anyone in this bar, but I guess I'd settle for you" should be the thesis of how you conduct yourself.

That is obviously if you just want easy no strings attached loveless sex. It's a whole other thing when you legitimately enjoy pleasing the other person, but it'll feel good either way.

 

[Scarecrow]

...why the fuck do you care? Why do you care so much about sticking at bit into one of the countless sacks of meat walking around? Why don't you direct your efforts into something worthwhile, like studying. You know, the thing you are meant to be doing at the place you are at.

To put it another way, sex is not a Holy Grail that will solve any problems, amount to anything or even make you feel better in the long run, so I wouldn't worry about it in the slightest.

 

[Sonicron]

Don't fret it. Keep doing what you're doing and be yourself - that really is the key ingredient.
It's important to feel comfortable about yourself and the way you live your life... women can sense desperation and will steer clear of you if they perceive you as a guy who's trying too hard. Also, having varied interests is definitely a good thing, but when the topic comes up in conversation you need to take care not to overdo it, as there's a thin and easily crossed line between coming off as either passionate or obsessed.
Finally, even the most perfect girl in the world will have tons of interests and views that differ from your own and which are likely to 'bore' you. Tough luck, mate, that's what relationship is about - it's give and take, accepting and respecting the other's quirks and having yours accepted in turn. Can't have it your way all the time. (Of course, that's assuming you don't just want meaningless flings.)

 

[gazumped]

Like some other people, I'm confused as to why you're posting. The OP sounded to me like:

"I'm a virgin but it doesn't bother me. I just haven't found the right person yet and I'm not going to sleep with someone I don't like just to say I've done it."

In which case... good for you? You've definitely got it right to not listen to your friend, if you make sex into a game you make it something seedy, like you've got to manipulate someone into having sex with you.

 

[HoneyVision]

If you just wanna get laid then use an online dating/hook-up service. They're quick, free and very efficient. WAY more and better results than actually physically going out and looking for a fuck.

 

[Jenvas1306]

I seriously dont know whats with that need to get laid. Like I need to breathe and eat and then got a few other urges that arent as important to continue my existance. First of all, dont listen to someone who tries to teach you how the dating-game works. games in that part of ones life are stupid. Do the stuff you are interessted in, maybe meet a girl and become friends and maybe more, and should it then happen that you get together and have sex, thats gonna be way better than just sticking your thing into the first chick who allowes you to (btw sex shouldnt be something she just allows, girls also want it, even the details are usually a bit different that at guys).
Im also not ugly, but I was already over 20 when I met my bf. I love him and he loves me, thats why we enjoy every minute we spend together, thats why we cuddle and thats why we have sex, as a natural expression of our feelings. The sex comes with the relationship, but isnt its sole reason.
For me thats a big part of what makes sex really worth it, otherwise Id be good on my own.

 

[attackshark]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pJ-sjtaKWPY

The Boondocks explains accurately.

 

[Angie7F]

I think it is pointless to force yourself into a relationship.
You will meet people you will hit it off with right away.
But for me people like that come across once or twice a year when i am actively looking.
Even less when i am not.

 

[jklinders]

No need to rush it. Along that path lies danger anyway. Live your life, meet people, do what you like doing and you might get lucky enough to find someone compatible with you. Or you can try the dating scene, pretend you are something you aren't and maybe get into more crap than you want to.

I met someone at work a few years ago. To my astonishment she shares my taste in music, entertainment and leisure. She shares my values and that was from us simply being us. I think putting out an honest face to the world contributed to that. It was a slow journey but worth the wait.

 

[DoctorObviously]

It's unbelievably frustrating, really. When it seems to be so easy for others but just not for you. I perfectly understand how you feel. I also haven't gotten laid yet, but I think the best advice is the advice that most people gave here already: don't rush it. Don't have a girlfriend just to have a girlfriend is the best advice I can give you, because it's just not healthy in the long run.

I know it sounds stupid, if you really feel like having a nice girlfriend have you tried a dating site?

EDIT: Wise man says: Be yourself. Do you like yourself as you are now? Don't change just to appeal to others. It's not worth it.