I'm tired of being lied to by commercials!

[Dead Seerius]

Okay guys. So I'm guessing a fair number of you are familiar with AXE brand deodorant. I'm also guessing some of you have seen their commercials before.
So after seeing this, I thought 'Hey, that's pretty neat. I should go out and buy some of that. Then I too shall have beautiful women chasing after me.'

So I go out and buy this stuff, right? I wait outside for a solid 2 hours, aaaaaand nothing. No bikini-clad women came running towards me.
'That's strange,' I thought. 'The commercial clearly depicts the wearer of this deodorant being swarmed by models. Why isn't it working for me?'

It then occurred to me that I maybe needed to get closer to said women for the effects to kick in. So I traveled into town and found a lady sitting on a bench, reading the newspaper. I sat next to her, waiting. Still nothing.

Now I was starting to get the feeling I had been duped by that commercial, but, out of desperation, I went for one last attempt. I scooted closer to her and casually raised my arm so the deodorant could be in full effect.

And you know what happened next? She just gave me this really hostile look and walked away! I was shocked!
To make sure the stick I used wasn't defective I bought 34 more, but not a single one worked! Now maybe I just used the product wrong, but I'm starting to think that commercial lied to me.

So Escapists, have you been similarly lied to by advertisements before? If so, what are some of the worst offenders? Perhaps we can all join forces and file one big false advertising lawsuit.

Spoiler: PS

Do not convert this into a sexism thread. Do not convert this into a sexism thread. Do not convert this into a sexism thread.

 

[Euryalus]

Mass Effect 3

I'm kidding don't maul me.

When I was little I was furious that my head didn't into a fruit after eating gushers when I was little. XD

 

[Eclipse Dragon]

Just think of all the countless people who have been hospitalized because Red Bull gives you wings.

OT: I was personally disappointed to find out my M&Ms don't speak to me.

 

[generals3]

Coca cola lied to me. They said it would bring happiness, all i had was a burp...

 

[King Aragorn]

Twix are the biggest offenders. They promised me the ability to stop time!
Time stopping chocolate man! but no, nothing...
I tried stopping time and then proceeding to take everything I can find in every store, all I got were cops.

 

[R.Nevermore]

I've never once laughed at two and a half men

 

[XMark]

I wanna see an Axe commercial which brings it to its logical conclusion - the effect eventually wears off. The woman comes back to her senses the next morning absolutely repulsed and horrified at what the Axe effect made her do against her will. She stealthily crawls out of the guy's bed while he's still asleep, puts on her clothes and calls the police. Then the guy goes to jail for a few years.

But it's not just an isolated incident. Women are locking themselves indoors in terror of the Axe effect, hiding from roving games of Axe-wielding rapists. Axe is classified as a date-rape drug, and in a highly-publicized trial several executives at Axe are arrested for their role in manufacturing and distributing the product.

The Axe corporation goes under, but the story doesn't end there. The secret recipe for Axe is leaked anonymously online, and the illegal Axe trade starts up and is enormously profitable. The government declares a war against Axe which proves to be even less effective than the war on drugs. For every Axe lab that the feds bust, twenty more spring up. Organized crime, bolstered by the Axe trade becomes far more powerful. And secretly, the CIA is purchasing Axe and using it for clandestine spy operations in the middle east. Suddenly every single CIA operative in the world is the equivalent of James Bond in womanizing, and any government official who is either female or closely related to a woman has all their secrets revealed by the power of Axe. Nations worldwide rush to remove women from any position of power, since they can so easily be comprimised by the Axe effect. Thus begins a new dark ages for gender equality.

National security no longer exists, organized crime has absolute power over the US, womens' rights are set back by centuries, governments collapse, and anarchy reigns across the globe. The only possible end result of the Axe effect is global nuclear annhilation.

 

[Jolly Co-operator]

That damn Snickers bar didn't satisfy my hunger at all. It just made me crave more chocolate!

I was also very disappointed when video game characters didn't start literally jumping out of my 3DS like the commercial said they would. The 3D effect is still cool sometimes, but damn it, what's the point of a handheld gaming system if it can't break the fabric of reality!?

 

[Colour Scientist]

I think you mean Lynx.

I was very disappointed to learn that Carlsberg probably isn't the best lager in the world.

 

[krazykidd]

Just think of all the countless people who have been hospitalized because Red Bull gives you wings.

I was personally disappointed to find out my M&Ms don't speak to me.

You laugh , but i remember , the first redbull commercials didn't have the disclaimer saying it didn't actually give you wings . Guess why they added it in later commercials .

OT: i stop watching commercials for this very reason , but i do love the axe commercials, especially the new one with the astronaught . But one commercial that lied to my face , was dead space 2 . My mom loved that game .

 

[Eclipse Dragon]

Just think of all the countless people who have been hospitalized because Red Bull gives you wings.

I was personally disappointed to find out my M&Ms don't speak to me.

You laugh , but i remember , the first redbull commercials didn't have the disclaimer saying it didn't actually give you wings . Guess why they added it in later commercials .

Oh I know it's sad. Kind of like how the show "1000 Ways to Die" needs to include a disclaimer at the beginning stating "Don't try these stunts at home, you will die."

 

[Risingblade]

Coca cola lied to me. They said it would bring happiness, all i had was a burp...

You burped out the happiness, for shame

 

[JemothSkarii]

I said I didn't want Panda cheese, and no angry Panda appeared in front of me. It's a rip-off I tell ya.

 

[Mick Beard]

i once chewed some 5 gum.... there was no water rushing at me or oranges being shot at me... i was dissapoint

also hot and spicy chicken from KFC, i was promised "HOT AND SPICY" all i got was a differnt version of Orignal with an orange hue to it

 

[maninahat]

I've always wondered why women peed brake fluid. Then I saw this:

 

[Spambot 3000]

I always liked to imagine that at the end of that axe commercial that all the women rip him to shreds. Like, completely eviscerate him into a red cloud, like sharks at a feeding frenzy.

Anyway, McDonalds should be fucking sued into the ground for false advertisement. Have you seen the size of their 'big macs' on the commercials in contrast to their actual big macs that they serve you? You can eat the piddly little things with one hand for Christs sake. I dunno if this is just exclusive to Australia but eh, it's complete bullshit.

 

[SD-Fiend]

Spoiler

No matter how many of these I drank I never gained the ability to become a T-1000 with air bending powers.

This commercial did however tell the truth.

Spoiler

The belly got me

 

[Jamieson 90]

I always liked to imagine that at the end of that axe commercial that all the women rip him to shreds. Like, completely eviscerate him into a red cloud, like sharks at a feeding frenzy.

Anyway, McDonalds should be fucking sued into the ground for false advertisement. Have you seen the size of their 'big macs' on the commercials in contrast to their actual big macs that they serve you? You can eat the piddly little things with one hand for Christs sake. I dunno if this is just exclusive to Australia but eh, it's complete bullshit.

It's the same here in the UK, and I love how lovely and neatly lined up the chips are in the fries, yet when you get them they look completely different, then again it's McDonald's and they're not exactly known for quality or healthy food.