I'm tired of being lied to by commercials!

[Spambot 3000]

I always liked to imagine that at the end of that axe commercial that all the women rip him to shreds. Like, completely eviscerate him into a red cloud, like sharks at a feeding frenzy.

Anyway, McDonalds should be fucking sued into the ground for false advertisement. Have you seen the size of their 'big macs' on the commercials in contrast to their actual big macs that they serve you? You can eat the piddly little things with one hand for Christs sake. I dunno if this is just exclusive to Australia but eh, it's complete bullshit.

Trust me dude, it happens over here in the States to.

Fuckin' McDonalds and their stupid fuckin' red-headed clown.

 

[DudeistBelieve]

Okay guys. So I'm guessing a fair number of you are familiar with AXE brand deodorant. I'm also guessing some of you have seen their commercials before.
So after seeing this, I thought 'Hey, that's pretty neat. I should go out and buy some of that. Then I too shall have beautiful women chasing after me.'

So I go out and buy this stuff, right? I wait outside for a solid 2 hours, aaaaaand nothing. No bikini-clad women came running towards me.
'That's strange,' I thought. 'The commercial clearly depicts the wearer of this deodorant being swarmed by models. Why isn't it working for me?'

It then occurred to me that I maybe needed to get closer to said women for the effects to kick in. So I traveled into town and found a lady sitting on a bench, reading the newspaper. I sat next to her, waiting. Still nothing.

Now I was starting to get the feeling I had been duped by that commercial, but, out of desperation, I went for one last attempt. I scooted closer to her and casually raised my arm so the deodorant could be in full effect.

And you know what happened next? She just gave me this really hostile look and walked away! I was shocked!
To make sure the stick I used wasn't defective I bought 34 more, but not a single one worked! Now maybe I just used the product wrong, but I'm starting to think that commercial lied to me.

So Escapists, have you been similarly lied to by advertisements before? If so, what are some of the worst offenders? Perhaps we can all join forces and file one big false advertising lawsuit.

Spoiler: PS

Do not convert this into a sexism thread. Do not convert this into a sexism thread. Do not convert this into a sexism thread.

True story. When AXE came out I was a kid in high school. In gym class, one of the guys pulls out a can, and we all idly joked with him. Mocking him for thinking the commercial would actually happen.

We leave the locker room and proceed to the co-ed gym class. A few of the girls become intoxicated by his scent and hung around him the entire time, I am not making it up. I had a similar experience later using it, a girl complimenting on the smell and engaging chitchat.

So in my book it works.

 

[mattttherman3]

RED BULL DIDN'T GIVE ME WINGS AND I BROKE MY TABLE

I also keep waking up on the ground with a Nestea in my hand. And with a concussion, I can never remember how I got there!

 

[Auron225]

I bought Oasis just so I could meet Rubberduckzilla =( No catastrophic duck titan for me...

 

[Strazdas]

where do you live? you know that theretically you can sue for false advertisement. though going against their army of lawyers in a court where its "good practices" and "opinion of those 10 random guys we called" are more important than following the law this may nto end up well.

 

[omega 616]

The one I will never understand is redbull.

I mean I get axe (or as we call it "lynx") adverts, women like it and it beats smelling like BO. Redbull gives you wings? No, it fucking doesn't!

Literally it obviously doesn't but it's not like "gives you wings" is a saying, it's not like "I just had 5 espresso's, it gave me wings". There is a saying "I'm flying" but that is when you're going fast, not when your brain is lit up on caffeine and sugar.

 

[kickassfrog]

Okay guys. So I'm guessing a fair number of you are familiar with AXE brand deodorant. I'm also guessing some of you have seen their commercials before.
So after seeing this, I thought 'Hey, that's pretty neat. I should go out and buy some of that. Then I too shall have beautiful women chasing after me.'

So I go out and buy this stuff, right? I wait outside for a solid 2 hours, aaaaaand nothing. No bikini-clad women came running towards me.
'That's strange,' I thought. 'The commercial clearly depicts the wearer of this deodorant being swarmed by models. Why isn't it working for me?'

It then occurred to me that I maybe needed to get closer to said women for the effects to kick in. So I traveled into town and found a lady sitting on a bench, reading the newspaper. I sat next to her, waiting. Still nothing.

Now I was starting to get the feeling I had been duped by that commercial, but, out of desperation, I went for one last attempt. I scooted closer to her and casually raised my arm so the deodorant could be in full effect.

And you know what happened next? She just gave me this really hostile look and walked away! I was shocked!
To make sure the stick I used wasn't defective I bought 34 more, but not a single one worked! Now maybe I just used the product wrong, but I'm starting to think that commercial lied to me.

So Escapists, have you been similarly lied to by advertisements before? If so, what are some of the worst offenders? Perhaps we can all join forces and file one big false advertising lawsuit.

Spoiler: PS

Do not convert this into a sexism thread. Do not convert this into a sexism thread. Do not convert this into a sexism thread.

And in the last election, the politicians said they would do things, then did COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THINGS!!!
I didn't vote, I was like 4 months too young.
But on the plus side, I didn't vote for the people in power, so I can make as many jokes about them as I like

 

[Relish in Chaos]

Not one gorilla turned up to play me some smooth Phil Collins on drums whenever I ate a Cadbury Dairy Milk. Instead, he just beat me to death.

 

[DkLnBr]

I wanna see an Axe commercial which brings it to its logical conclusion - the effect eventually wears off. The woman comes back to her senses the next morning absolutely repulsed and horrified at what the Axe effect made her do against her will. She stealthily crawls out of the guy's bed while he's still asleep, puts on her clothes and calls the police. Then the guy goes to jail for a few years.

But it's not just an isolated incident. Women are locking themselves indoors in terror of the Axe effect, hiding from roving games of Axe-wielding rapists. Axe is classified as a date-rape drug, and in a highly-publicized trial several executives at Axe are arrested for their role in manufacturing and distributing the product.

The Axe corporation goes under, but the story doesn't end there. The secret recipe for Axe is leaked anonymously online, and the illegal Axe trade starts up and is enormously profitable. The government declares a war against Axe which proves to be even less effective than the war on drugs. For every Axe lab that the feds bust, twenty more spring up. Organized crime, bolstered by the Axe trade becomes far more powerful. And secretly, the CIA is purchasing Axe and using it for clandestine spy operations in the middle east. Suddenly every single CIA operative in the world is the equivalent of James Bond in womanizing, and any government official who is either female or closely related to a woman has all their secrets revealed by the power of Axe. Nations worldwide rush to remove women from any position of power, since they can so easily be comprimised by the Axe effect. Thus begins a new dark ages for gender equality.

National security no longer exists, organized crime has absolute power over the US, womens' rights are set back by centuries, governments collapse, and anarchy reigns across the globe. The only possible end result of the Axe effect is global nuclear annhilation.

Well done! This just made my day!
OT: This one has been done to death, but I'd say the No More Tears shampoo. Damn vinegar burnt less than that stuff