I'm tired of being lied to by commercials!

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linkmastr001

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May 22, 2009
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XMark said:
I wanna see an Axe commercial which brings it to its logical conclusion - the effect eventually wears off. The woman comes back to her senses the next morning absolutely repulsed and horrified at what the Axe effect made her do against her will. She stealthily crawls out of the guy's bed while he's still asleep, puts on her clothes and calls the police. Then the guy goes to jail for a few years.

But it's not just an isolated incident. Women are locking themselves indoors in terror of the Axe effect, hiding from roving games of Axe-wielding rapists. Axe is classified as a date-rape drug, and in a highly-publicized trial several executives at Axe are arrested for their role in manufacturing and distributing the product.

The Axe corporation goes under, but the story doesn't end there. The secret recipe for Axe is leaked anonymously online, and the illegal Axe trade starts up and is enormously profitable. The government declares a war against Axe which proves to be even less effective than the war on drugs. For every Axe lab that the feds bust, twenty more spring up. Organized crime, bolstered by the Axe trade becomes far more powerful. And secretly, the CIA is purchasing Axe and using it for clandestine spy operations in the middle east. Suddenly every single CIA operative in the world is the equivalent of James Bond in womanizing, and any government official who is either female or closely related to a woman has all their secrets revealed by the power of Axe. Nations worldwide rush to remove women from any position of power, since they can so easily be comprimised by the Axe effect. Thus begins a new dark ages for gender equality.

National security no longer exists, organized crime has absolute power over the US, womens' rights are set back by centuries, governments collapse, and anarchy reigns across the globe. The only possible end result of the Axe effect is global nuclear annhilation.
You've made my day. I'd watch this.

bazaalmon said:
Oh man, Axe body spray. I had successfully blocked that part of my mind out for a REASON dammit! Back in high school, everyone seemed to walk around in a cloud of Axe. There were even several (more than enough to be sad) students who actually used Axe in lieu of showering. So they smelled like Axe and ass. Not a good combination. And they wouldn't get any women, so they would spray on more. It was so bad that people -including me- would actually gag when passing them in the hallways.

OT: Those commercials for Lectric Shave. It didn't cause my hair to stand on end and scream "LECTRIC SHAVE!"
I thought I could get a good conversation going with my beard, but it just sits there all quiet like.
I was just about to say that. I hated after gym class because of that very reason, that and Axe smelt AWEFUL. In all honesty, I thought Axe might have the opposite effect then they like to "advertise"

OT: While I can't think of too many specifics, I do find it funny how many products/services have to have disclaimers for them to work, like Red Bull with their commercials and thier wings. Or like Blockbuster (yea, remember them?) with that "Unlimited" renting scheme that had where you owned the game or whatever you rented after a month and they charged you full price for it.
 

Dead Seerius

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Feb 4, 2012
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Scorched_Cascade said:
Should've added this video :)
Haha, another guy also sent me that video. Hilarious

knight steel said:
SanAndreasSmoke said:
You know what the problem is,I'll tell you,it sexism thats what the problem is,in this disgusting male pig fantasy women are treated as if they are nothing but animals that can/should be controlled by the puggy dim blob of pus that is men. Instead of being a whiny spoilt white american you should grovel to the superior female mind/sarcasm
Forget my post script, I can't argue with this. Thank you for showing me the error of my ways. :)
 

knight steel

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Jul 6, 2009
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SanAndreasSmoke said:
Scorched_Cascade said:
Should've added this video :)
Haha, another guy also sent me that video. Hilarious

knight steel said:
SanAndreasSmoke said:
You know what the problem is,I'll tell you,it sexism thats what the problem is,in this disgusting male pig fantasy women are treated as if they are nothing but animals that can/should be controlled by the puggy dim blob of pus that is men. Instead of being a whiny spoilt white american you should grovel to the superior female mind/sarcasm
Forget my post script, I can't argue with this. Thank you for showing me the error of my ways. :)
Yes, while you belong to the inferior apes that are called man you show promise, perhaps we will not castrate you instead you can become one of our "breeders" living life on the Breeding farm but first you must prove yourself by.........WATCHING TWILIGHT AND SEX IN THE CITY AT THE SAME TIME!!!!!
 

Dead Seerius

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Feb 4, 2012
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knight steel said:
Yes, while you belong to the inferior apes that are called man you show promise, perhaps we will not castrate you instead you can become one of our "breeders" living life on the Breeding farm but first you must prove yourself by.........WATCHING TWILIGHT AND SEX IN THE CITY AT THE SAME TIME!!!!!
A-at the same time?! It's not possible... IT'S NOT POSSIBLE!

How could anyone survive such cruel and unusual punishment?
 

Xpwn3ntial

Avid Reader
Dec 22, 2008
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Edl01 said:
MORNING RESCUE!
Just watch the advert...it speaks for itself how it lies. I mean when was the last time you saw free drinks given out at a work place like that?
Okay, wow. I haven't come across that name in a long time. Like, still-airing Madoka long time.

OT: I have to say, the plastic minis I see in White Dwarf look nothing like the things I buy in the boxes. They're not even assembled, for cryin' out loud!
 

knight steel

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Jul 6, 2009
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SanAndreasSmoke said:
knight steel said:
Yes, while you belong to the inferior apes that are called man you show promise, perhaps we will not castrate you instead you can become one of our "breeders" living life on the Breeding farm but first you must prove yourself by.........WATCHING TWILIGHT AND SEX IN THE CITY AT THE SAME TIME!!!!!
A-at the same time?! It's not possible... IT'S NOT POSSIBLE!

How could anyone survive such cruel and unusual punishment?
Of course your puny man brain could not handle such majestic art that is Twilight and sex in the city I would expect no less from a sexist man who is sexist and hates women because of his sexism T_T
 

Scarim Coral

Jumped the ship
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Oct 29, 2010
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My ass you can make a dirty coin spotless with Cilit Bang!

Yeah I bought one cos of those amazing effect but they are only mildly effective!
 

The Funslinger

Corporate Splooge
Sep 12, 2010
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Colour-Scientist said:
I was very disappointed to learn that Carlsberg probably isn't the best lager in the world.
That reminds me of a joke:

I saw a can of Carlsberg sitting on the wall and decided to try it. I don't get what all the fuss is about, it just tasted like piss to me.

OT: Buying Cravendale milk did not bring on a horde of cats with thumbs. Hell, I live in Craven, surely this place is the epicenter of evolved cat terror.
 

Jolly Co-operator

A Heavy Sword
Mar 10, 2012
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Quaker Oats. The canister says "1-minute oats", bu the shortest listed cook-time in the instructions is 90 seconds. Da fuq, Quaker?
 

ClockworkPenguin

Senior Member
Mar 29, 2012
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Scarim Coral said:
My ass you can make a dirty coin spotless with Cilit Bang!

Yeah I bought one cos of those amazing effect but they are only mildly effective!
On the other hand, I thought this advert was pretty honest
 

cojo965

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Jul 28, 2012
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Spambot 3000 said:
I always liked to imagine that at the end of that axe commercial that all the women rip him to shreds. Like, completely eviscerate him into a red cloud, like sharks at a feeding frenzy.

Anyway, McDonalds should be fucking sued into the ground for false advertisement. Have you seen the size of their 'big macs' on the commercials in contrast to their actual big macs that they serve you? You can eat the piddly little things with one hand for Christs sake. I dunno if this is just exclusive to Australia but eh, it's complete bullshit.
Trust me dude, it happens over here in the States to.
 

Wolf In A Bear Suit

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Jun 2, 2012
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You know who's responsible for misleading advertisements? Wimmenz I tell ya. Lets Shanghai this thread for feminism debate!!
OT, The make up and beauty products are the worse. Their alleged surveys are clearly carried out on employees or something bro..
I also have a feeling this totally non cringe worthy video filmed by the man with the most punchable face I have ever seen is misleading me. It is one of the most pathetic attempts at advertising I have ever seen, and I doubt they have sold anything. Also his eyes frighten me.
 

sextus the crazy

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Oct 15, 2011
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What? An advertisement distorted or otherwise fabricated the truth?

We all have to learn to cope with disappointment.
 

deathzero021

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Feb 3, 2012
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i... don't get the commercial. is that supposed to be a desirable event? I would be scared shitless if that happened. i dont care what gender they are, if there are a billion humans running full speed towards me, there's going to be a problem isn't there? They don't show what happens when the women get there too, i mean just looking at their expressions, i'd say they are charging into battle, perhaps murderous in their intentions. Doesn't seem too safe too me.

Although, on a more serious note, i find American business as a whole - completely disgusting and i can't understand why Americans are ACCEPTING this behavior. we need to start rising above this shit and stopping it. i'm really tired of it, every single advertisement is a lie, i don't trust or care about anything i see on a billboard or a commercial. the whole PURPOSE has been lost. it no longer educates me on the product. it simply let's me know that the producers of the product are thieving con-men.
 

soren7550

Overly Proud New Yorker
Dec 18, 2008
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Somehow, even though I'm living my life without [insert product that can only be bought on TV and mall As Seen On TV mini stores for $19.95], I am not a complete and utter incompetent baboon.
 

MrHide-Patten

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Jun 10, 2009
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Deoderant ads lie about all the sexy bitches, say it ain't so. Frankly most mens deoderants act as a deterant for women in my experience... or it's because I look like Quasimodo, hard to tell.