I'm worried. Should I be?
- Thread starter The Salty Vulcan
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Not all drunks are happy. Keep an eye on him, but my bet is that it was the alcohol talking. Some people get very depressed when they get drunk and the party ends.
I'm at the time of night where I reckon some tough love would been appropriate.
Tell him pretty much everything you just said here and tell him to quit complaining, since he could be in situations a hundred times worse than that.
Christ, he has lots of friends, a job, everybody likes him, he's in great shape. God I wish I had two of those things.
Point is, he's got no reason to be sad at all. He's on track to an awesome life.
Tell him pretty much everything you just said here and tell him to quit complaining, since he could be in situations a hundred times worse than that.
Christ, he has lots of friends, a job, everybody likes him, he's in great shape. God I wish I had two of those things.
Point is, he's got no reason to be sad at all. He's on track to an awesome life.
I would go with the stuff higher up...
It sounds like he is getting over stressed trying to stay afloat and all the load from 3 jobs is putting too much strain on him. It can be hard enough to do well in a single job, then add another 2 with their various facets and goals...
It sounds like he needs a good sit down, maybe with a small amount of drink... loosen him up to talk, but not so you are holding his hair back over the toilet again...
Find out what he wants or wanted to achieve but feels he has failed at. He cant become a success in business while trying to do 3 seperate jobs. You didn't mention his age I believe?
If he has reached certain hallmarks like 30 etc then he may well be looking at what he has managed and missing something he really wanted before.
As to how he would go about trying to get that goal... well he may need to look at rebalancing most of his life, if he needs 3 jobs just to stay in the black then what is eating all his capital? Can he cut that back while he attempts to shift from his mass of jobs into a singular well paying job to reach what he desires? Or to fit in further training/qualifications to get to his goal?
It might even be a form of "Keeping up with the Jones." Wherein he is trying harder and harder to match or be better then others he works with, but sees himself as not matching up and being a failure in that form.
There are a whole mess of things that could be leading to his current state and the only way to figure it out is a good long chat with someone he feels able to open up to. Whether he will do that with you as family, yet a relative stranger, so someone he may not have been lying to as much as others... sometimes we will hide things the strongest from those we are closest to and the longer it has been hidden, the harder it can be to open up and admit they hid these aspects from someone they love.
Or they may need that same love in order to open up enough to really go into full depth of their issues.
I lean to the stranger route for some reason I just talk more easily to someone who doesn't know me. No idea why. See which way it goes with him.
TL
R He has some underlying issue which the drink brought to the surface. He really needs a good talk and to examine what he wants from life and how best to reach that. And what changes might help manage it. Whether you can help enough without much of a bond with him is questionable. This could be a time to rekindle and form a bond as brothers, or you may want to pass things along to a family member who he does get on well with but may have hidden his doubts from previously. Good luck either way.
It sounds like he is getting over stressed trying to stay afloat and all the load from 3 jobs is putting too much strain on him. It can be hard enough to do well in a single job, then add another 2 with their various facets and goals...
It sounds like he needs a good sit down, maybe with a small amount of drink... loosen him up to talk, but not so you are holding his hair back over the toilet again...
Find out what he wants or wanted to achieve but feels he has failed at. He cant become a success in business while trying to do 3 seperate jobs. You didn't mention his age I believe?
If he has reached certain hallmarks like 30 etc then he may well be looking at what he has managed and missing something he really wanted before.
As to how he would go about trying to get that goal... well he may need to look at rebalancing most of his life, if he needs 3 jobs just to stay in the black then what is eating all his capital? Can he cut that back while he attempts to shift from his mass of jobs into a singular well paying job to reach what he desires? Or to fit in further training/qualifications to get to his goal?
It might even be a form of "Keeping up with the Jones." Wherein he is trying harder and harder to match or be better then others he works with, but sees himself as not matching up and being a failure in that form.
There are a whole mess of things that could be leading to his current state and the only way to figure it out is a good long chat with someone he feels able to open up to. Whether he will do that with you as family, yet a relative stranger, so someone he may not have been lying to as much as others... sometimes we will hide things the strongest from those we are closest to and the longer it has been hidden, the harder it can be to open up and admit they hid these aspects from someone they love.
Or they may need that same love in order to open up enough to really go into full depth of their issues.
I lean to the stranger route for some reason I just talk more easily to someone who doesn't know me. No idea why. See which way it goes with him.
TL
R He has some underlying issue which the drink brought to the surface. He really needs a good talk and to examine what he wants from life and how best to reach that. And what changes might help manage it. Whether you can help enough without much of a bond with him is questionable. This could be a time to rekindle and form a bond as brothers, or you may want to pass things along to a family member who he does get on well with but may have hidden his doubts from previously. Good luck either way.
Believe it or not, everyone has something in their life that they don't like and even a friday is sometimes a good enough reason to get shitfaced.sqweesboo said:
OT: If you're really worried, just ask him if everything is alright. I wouldn't worry though.
He's 19. I think if anything my brother is uncertain of his future now that im able to look back at the whole mishiva objctively. Add the fact that he does go out a few times and spends big (shouting rounds, not drinking them) plus the price of his phone bills (girl most likely) I think thats what keeps him worried. That "keeping up with joneses" thing could be right though. My brother was never one for thinking for himself. Still a talk is in order though it'll probably wont involve drink...right after I torture him tomorrow morning playing Dragonforce really loudly.Sam Ronin said:I would go with the stuff higher up...
It sounds like he is getting over stressed trying to stay afloat and all the load from 3 jobs is putting too much strain on him. It can be hard enough to do well in a single job, then add another 2 with their various facets and goals...
It sounds like he needs a good sit down, maybe with a small amount of drink... loosen him up to talk, but not so you are holding his hair back over the toilet again...
Find out what he wants or wanted to achieve but feels he has failed at. He cant become a success in business while trying to do 3 seperate jobs. You didn't mention his age I believe?
If he has reached certain hallmarks like 30 etc then he may well be looking at what he has managed and missing something he really wanted before.
As to how he would go about trying to get that goal... well he may need to look at rebalancing most of his life, if he needs 3 jobs just to stay in the black then what is eating all his capital? Can he cut that back while he attempts to shift from his mass of jobs into a singular well paying job to reach what he desires? Or to fit in further training/qualifications to get to his goal?
It might even be a form of "Keeping up with the Jones." Wherein he is trying harder and harder to match or be better then others he works with, but sees himself as not matching up and being a failure in that form.
There are a whole mess of things that could be leading to his current state and the only way to figure it out is a good long chat with someone he feels able to open up to. Whether he will do that with you as family, yet a relative stranger, so someone he may not have been lying to as much as others... sometimes we will hide things the strongest from those we are closest to and the longer it has been hidden, the harder it can be to open up and admit they hid these aspects from someone they love.
Or they may need that same love in order to open up enough to really go into full depth of their issues.
I lean to the stranger route for some reason I just talk more easily to someone who doesn't know me. No idea why. See which way it goes with him.
TL
I recommend keeping an eye on him, and try to be there when he needs you. Don't be to aggressive, but at least let him know your there for support.
People are rarely as perfect as they seem. I suppose you should talk it over with him in a sober state.
It might be an opportunity for the two of you to become closer and gain some understanding of eachother.
If he, as you describe, is leading a life of leisure, he might be suffering from "hollow existence" syndrome as I like to call it. That's pretty bad.
It might be an opportunity for the two of you to become closer and gain some understanding of eachother.
If he, as you describe, is leading a life of leisure, he might be suffering from "hollow existence" syndrome as I like to call it. That's pretty bad.
Three jobs and wild nights?
It's possible that he's stressed out and small issues grow into huge problems due to him not handling them correctly. If he's willing to open up to you, and you're willing to really listen, then I think you could probably help him. Having someone to vent your worries to can be an enormous help, especially if you're stressed as well.
Also, does he get enough sleep and does he have some sort of physical activity that he does on a regular basis? Enough sleep is very important, especially when you work three jobs you'll need all your brain power and energy. Working out helps get aggressiveness out of your system and it's easier to handle things when you're calm.
Hope I helped.
It's possible that he's stressed out and small issues grow into huge problems due to him not handling them correctly. If he's willing to open up to you, and you're willing to really listen, then I think you could probably help him. Having someone to vent your worries to can be an enormous help, especially if you're stressed as well.
Also, does he get enough sleep and does he have some sort of physical activity that he does on a regular basis? Enough sleep is very important, especially when you work three jobs you'll need all your brain power and energy. Working out helps get aggressiveness out of your system and it's easier to handle things when you're calm.
Hope I helped.
Well, I've always had trouble being in realtionships with women.Danzaivar said:
in the last 4 years I've realized it's because I'm so jealous of them.
I've never really like I've fit in my entire life. I've always had friends, but I've never really felt like I belong. I went through several identity crises in high school and grew my hair long and girly.
Everyone used to think I was gay, and well in a way I guess I am, being a lesbian and all.
-Tabs<3-
If you notice any difference in his behaviour when he is sober, just try to talk to him and ask him if he still feels that way. Alcohol, as any other drug, can change your mood drastically (and as far as I know, is a 'downer'). Maybe he isn't very good with the sauce. I would worry if he keeps on talking about these things.
I've had a similar experience when I went out with my step brother once. We were walking home pissed as could be and he started talking about taking his life that evening. After talking some sence in him and taking him home, I never heard him say those things again. And he's still here.
I've had a similar experience when I went out with my step brother once. We were walking home pissed as could be and he started talking about taking his life that evening. After talking some sence in him and taking him home, I never heard him say those things again. And he's still here.