Impractical weapons in games

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Joseph_Joestar

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Nov 17, 2009
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Bow and Arrows in anything not in a fantasy setting. Why the hell do these always do 5 times more damage than BULLETS!?
 

Robby Foxfur

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Sep 1, 2009
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gonna go with the plasma rifle from HL2 with the insta-death ball. Or maybe that one gun from Doom that shots out a thing that drills into your enemies head and explodes yeah. At least i think it was doom
 

squid5580

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Feb 20, 2008
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I found "an old stick" in Dragon Age: Origins lol and it rawks. Seriously best staff I have found for my mage this far.
 

I Framed OJ

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Jul 21, 2009
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Irishhoodlum said:
Pretty much any game that throws in personal miniguns is neglecting the fact that the recoil would break your back in about a second...
Adding to that, a minigun needs power to turn the barrel, either gas, hand or electric. In most games, there is no alternate power source + no cooling system.

I also think that the Desert Eagle is still one of the most impractical weapons in the world. I have a friend whom is a collector and has a .357 Deagle, and is in the market of a .50 one. Anyway, I went down to the range with him to see him fire it. After 7 rounds, the entire thing was black. If you fire more than one clip at a time without stirpping and cleaning it, it has a 80% chance of jamming. Also the recoil is enough to break you wrist.

Another thing that isn't as much impractical but annoys me in games is how slow your character pumps a shotgun. You can pump about 4 shells a second if you know what you are doing...or say; are military trained...or even if you have only picked it up at least 1-2 a second.

The energy sword and brute hammer would take a lifetime to master, even if you where a spartan.
A semi-auto .50 cal rifle cannot be fired from the hip. Firing it into the shoulder can break it anyway.
Auto-pistols suck in real life. They have 2 seconds of fire and have 0 accuracy.
Many many more but who cares.
 

duchaked

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Dec 25, 2008
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lol the chainsaw gun vs guts...well the heavy part would be no problem for the overly pumped COGs but still haha
 

Christemo

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Jan 13, 2009
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Masamune. sure its 9 feet long and could be used to stab people in medium range, but look at how thin the bloody thing is. unless you´r Sephiroth and awesome, that blade wouldn´t last 2 hits against a Buster Sword.
 

Kollega

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Jun 5, 2009
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As people have said, each and every weapon in Ratchet & Clank series - sans the basic pistols - is impractical, illogical, and improbable beyond all limits. But really - in a world of self-wedgifying underwear and nuclear mousetraps, who the fuck cares?

KillSmiley said:
<img src=http://xboxmedia.ign.com/xbox/image/article/667/667924/the-weapons-of-painkiller-hell-wars--20051117051751996-000.jpg>

The Boltcaster, an automatic shuriken launcher. Made even sillier by the fact that you also get a chaingun and, in the expansion, a submachine gun.

If that weren't enough, it can also shoot electrified shuriken. Somehow.
How is that impractical?! IT SHOOTS SHURIKENS AND LIGHTNING!
 

RaNDM G

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Apr 28, 2009
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Chainsaw gun (Gears of War)


firstly, real chainsaws are heavy, and not only that but they would not really work well if the target in question is thrashing around, which is what most people would do. Secondly, I'm surprised that neither the gun itself no the chainsaw never gets jammed with guts every time its used. A good chainsaw would probably only be good once maybe twice after cutting through flesh. The gun jams in the game I know, but why don't the blood and guns affect that somehow.
I dare you to say this isn't practical:

 

Lord Thodin

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Jul 1, 2009
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The Experimental Merv in Fallout 3. Yea its awesome, and devastating but one mini-nuke is a stretch, let alone 8. 8 Mini-nukes must equal 4 regular nukes. The operator of this gun did not just kill himself, but he just redestroyed America. Its no longer having an east coast at that point......
 
Jan 29, 2009
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DannyBoy451 said:
Meatfish said:
a double barreled revolver would never work for two reasons.
1.) it would only have three shots, if a six shooter, yet he can fire it in the game with seemingly infinite shots while never reloading
2.) guns aren't made that way, I don't get how the mechanics of such a gun would work.
Actually, they were used during the 19th century.
EDIT: Another double revolver, I love them so much.

Actually, it looks like this one fired either lead shot or rifle rounds from the second barrel.
I believe the second one is a Le Mat revolver, and the center barrel houses a shotgun shell.
 

Canadamus Prime

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Jun 17, 2009
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quiet_samurai said:
Dude.... it's make believe......MAKE BELIEVE!!

Applying real world logic to fantasy is like buying a leash for your goldfish... there's no point.
Yeah, applying real world logic to fantasy kinda defeats the whole purpose of the fantasy.
Apply real world logic to fantasy is like applying matter to anti-matter, and I hope we all know happens when that happens.
 

Snotnarok

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The boogers in Boogerman: A pick and flick adventure perhaps, if not his burps or farts.
 

Treblaine

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Meatfish said:
Chainsaw gun (Gears of War)

<img src=http://i38.tinypic.com/2rzcayv.jpg>

firstly, real chainsaws are heavy, and not only that but they would not really work well if the target in question is thrashing around, which is what most people would do. Secondly, I'm surprised that neither the gun itself no the chainsaw never gets jammed with guts every time its used. A good chainsaw would probably only be good once maybe twice after cutting through flesh. The gun jams in the game I know, but why don't the blood and guns affect that somehow.

tldr;
So yeah, any other weapons that are cool in games but come into question as to how they would work or how practical they are.

(Disclaimer: I did not write this, the original author is RazorTheAwesome from the Ultimateguitar forums)
Lancer is my pet peeve. I remember hearing that the writer of Gears of War (yes, there is apparently at least one) called the Lancer "the new light sabre" which is clearly bullshit.

I can't speculate on the weight as even now it is possible to use such lightweight materials that the weapon is TOO light (you need the mass of a weapon to absorb recoil) so it may make sense to "weight it down" with something.

But a chainsaw is the last thing that would be considered useful, what about a grenade launcher, optical zoom sight or extra ammunition capacity? Maybe a mini pump action shotgun under the barrel or mini flame thrower, all have precedent as they have actually been used in war. Hell, why not permanently integrate the Hammer of Dawn laser so you don't just have to conveniently find one every time a big boss appears.

There is no justification for having such a heavy weapon with such a short range. Sure as hell it was hard to deploy in the game, I was only ever able to use it on a completely unaware enemy from behind.

I'm reminded of Killzone 2 and how effective the knife was, that would have made more sense. You can't justify having such a heavy weapon which is so slow and short ranged like a chainsaw, most modern armies have only a combat-knife/bayonet for close combat for good reason.

Also, the way the chainsaw in integrated into the Lancer makes it more a danger to the user than anyone else, anyone who has done even the most limited rifle shooting knows you want a large fore-stock that is unobstructed while the Lancer only has a small area where the left hand can support the weapon, anywhere else and they are liable to get their fingers amputated. The chainsaw doesn't even protrude much from the front of the weapon like a blade bayonet would, giving that extra reach to strike that second earlier, instead you have to get practically on top of them and mash the bladed side of the weapon against the enemy.

I still kinda liked Gears of War and have not played Gears 2 yet but I hate the Lancer.
 

Slayer_2

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Jul 28, 2008
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The Experimental MIRV launcher in Fallout 3. The Fat Man is pretty insane as well. Oh and the portable MINIGUN! The Lancer has a practical explanation in one of the books; apparently a normal blade isn't strong enough to kill Locusts and BREAKS when you try and use it. The solution: a mounted chainsaw! I love using it because the sound and visuals are so satisfying. It's not practical, but if anyone was as big as Cole Train in real life, they'd have no problem carrying it.
 

kannibus

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Sep 21, 2009
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I recall playing Armed and Dangerous back in the old days. My fav weapon was doubtless the Land Shark and the Topsy Turvy Gun.
 

coldshadow

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justhereforthemoney said:
A staff that is magical and can shoot magic, or even a magical ocarina. Anything magical, since magic doesn't exist.
You have to beleave!
 

Caligulove

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I'd definitely say the Boomerang, or the Crossbow in Half Life 2. They all work of course- but realistically they would never really work.

Like the Boomerang is a free thing to throw at someone (and hopefully get back) and the HL2 crossbow would just be impractical to keep cutting up and heating rebar instead of just using ammo.

That and I should say... pretty much every weapon used in a Final Fantasy game...
 

DoomyMcDoom

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Meatfish said:
Gunblade (Final Fantasy 8)

<img src=http://i36.tinypic.com/de7bc9.jpg>

I've seen a lot of impractical weapons, but this one takes the cake. First off, holding it from a handle like that would never give you good control of either the gun or the sword, and swinging it would put awkward pressure on your wrists. Furthermore, the gun portion seems unbalanced, you would get a lot of recoil from firing it.
if you wanna know, the origin of the gunblade was also a real weapon...

in fact here's a replica of one, first example i could find forgive me for laziness.
http://www.iloveswords.com/PIR_CutlassPistol1.html

and I know the one from FF8 is a clunky impractical doohicky that wouldn't work...

the boarding cutlass/pistol would be a rather, useful thing for the kind of combat it was used for...