Improbability Drive.

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kotorfan04

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Aug 7, 2009
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My life has been fairly uneventful. I suppose the randomest thing is that I exist considering all the shit that happens for that to go off, but post me existing, not much.
 

crimson5pheonix

It took 6 months to read my title.
Legacy
Jun 6, 2008
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Playing super smash brothers brawl, my friend was playing Link and I was playing Kirby. It went to sudden death and we both did smash attacks at the same time and KO'd each other. I won only because he was closer to the edge.
 

Eclectic Dreck

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Sep 3, 2008
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I've had quite a few moments where I'm certain I've fallen off the probability curve. Two of the most memorable come from the realm of sports, thanks to a process that I call "flailing my way to victory".

The first, comes from the grand sport of paintball. For the uninitated, paintball is essentially a game of tag at a distance where you use a gun (marker) that firers gelatin spheres (not unlike the gelatin carriers many medicines come encapsulated in) filled with a brighly colored water soluable dye to mark other players. While most people used semi-automatic paintball markers (and skilled players using appropiate equipment can make these semi-automatic markers fire in excess of 13 times in a second), for a long period of time I used one of the oldest style - a PGP. The PGP is actually a paintball pistol that carries only 10 (versus 150 - 200) shots in a tub that sits on top of the barrel. In order to fire, one must first cock the weapon and rock it back so that a paintball rolls into the breech, then complete the cocking cycle. A skilled player could probably fire 1 - 2 aimed shots in a second if hard pressed with such a marker. The reason I had determined I should be so out gunned was the result of a realization I had - I was pretty good at the whole moving about part of the game but I was absolutely wretched aw the whole "shooting the other guys" part of the game. I reasoned that such an archaic weapon would inspire accuracy because once you don't have volume of fire to rely on that first shot becomes increasingly important.

In this particular game, I knew where one member of the opposing team was sitting and I resolved that it was my duty to "bunker" him. In this instance, bunkering someone means that you run up to their little patch of cover and remove them from the game at very close quarters - a move that is generally difficult to execute without both players being marked in the process. My plan was simple - his compatriots didn't seem terribly interested in dealing with me (thanks to my lack of firepower) so I felt that I could run up to his position (about the middle of the field on one of the border lines, or tape lines in this case) stop at his bunker, quickly point around the corner and take him out. This plan satisfied my longstanding paintball rule: if I couldn't think of something smart do do, figure out what the dumbest thing was. The logic was, at least they wouldn't expect me to do something mind blowingly stupid.

The first phase of my plan, that is running to the vicinity of the other player, went swimmingly well. The second phase called for me to slow my run so that I could stop at the friendly side of the bunker. Unfortunatly, it was it this moment that everything went pear shaped. As I attempted to slow down I instead decided to suddenly lose footing and fall onto my back. Since I had been running at a full sprint my momentum was kind enough to carry me forward quite past the point where I wanted to stop. During the process of falling and flailing, I passed the bunker with the apparently alerted opponent who was presumably expecting my approach from a higher angle because he was shooting over my head as I slid past. Somewhere in the process, either because of the flailing or because I suddenly became a character in a John Woo flick, I managed to shoot the opposing player as I passed. My slide ended with me hitting the bunker just beyond my target bunker, with my opponent eliminated from the match.

Observers later remarked that my move was in fact "awesome" and they have never seen anything like that. Unwilling to reveal that I had literally fallen and by sheer happenstance managed to shoot the player in passing I agreed that I was pretty cool, hoping they could continue to assume that I was a badass.

The second comes from the sport of fencing. In this sport, again your objective is simply to touch your opponent, only you get the benefit of a sword for the purposes of offense and defense. Without going too far into the details, I'll just note that the most basic attack involves extending the sword arm and then lunging forward.

My opponent in this instance was executing a marching attack from a low line. In other words, he was advancing with an attack that began with his sword held very low. This attack is difficult to defend against. Simply attacking into it generally yields a point for the opponent as they can almost certainly land their attack and since they begain the action it's their point. Since the sword is in a low line, your options for attacking the blade are limited at best because you have to go well out of your way (and into their range) to get to their weapon. The best tactic I've used is a simple feint - that is an action designed to look like an attack that will force them to finish their own attack. The goal is to get them to finish their attack endeavor so that I might parry the blade and get the right to attack myself.

Thus, my plan was simple - throw a short feint so that I would be in a position to respond, parry and then reposte. Unfortunately, my opponent decided to throw his attack right around the time I decided to feint. Because of an unconventional (perhaps unskilled) trajectory, combined with a very close proximity, my front foot somehow managed to actually land on the tip of my opponents blade. As you may imagine, when you suddenly lunge your leading foot is expected to absorb a lot of energy to bring your body to a halt. Attempting to apply said energy to a surface area of less than 1 cm^2 was folly and my front leg continued forward.

As I was rapidly attempting to do the splits, I did what I always do when I'm in over my head at a physical activity - I started flailing. In this case, my natural response was to use my unarmed (left) hand to stop my motion downward while attempting to regain balance using my armed (right hand). For whatever reason, balance was found only by thrusting my armed hand in something approacing an attack from an outside line where I connected with my opponent.

I still don't really think it was legal that I got a point from the ordeal (commanding the blade is against the rules but in this case I had clearly not intended to do so) but I got a point, in effect, simply because I almost fell on the strip and flailed about.
 

Katherine Kerensky

Why, or Why Not?
Mar 27, 2009
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Eclectic Dreck said:
You gain a point for the paintball story. you can apply this point to any stat you wish, but it would appear your random-awesome-luck attribute is already full.
Best I had while painballing (For me) was taking cover behind a tiny tree stump and shooting someone in the crotch 3 times, and a couple of other people.
Best for the enemy, ofcourse, was when a paintball shattered my visor.

and as for OP: hmmm... I'll have to go with whoever said that they exist. in the fact that we exist. (or you can look at this philosophically and say we don't exist, and that we are all figments of your imagination.)
 

Mr. Grey

I changed my face, ya like it?
Aug 31, 2009
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I was gambling once with an electronic roulette, the kind that stands with a tall screen and shows a virtual roulette wheel as it's surrounded by monitors. Now, I was stupid to try this in the first place purely because it was an electronic, which means it can cheat the player as a slot machine can. Only a slot machine has probability generator not too different from a random number generator, you just need to place bets until you notice the pattern, but I digress.

I had placed $20 in the machine, and made my bets, five bets later I had twenty $5. Now, I can place this $5 and break even if I lose or walk away $5 richer. My lucky number had always been twenty four so I placed the $5 on 24 Black and watched the wheel spin. Now if the ball landed on 24 Black, I'd get paid 35 to 1, which means I'd win $175 to the $5 I placed, in total that is $180.

But, something was in the way... 24 Black was already chosen by the ball two turns before, probability states I just did the most stupid thing you could do in this game. However Lady Luck was a lady with me and it landed on 24 Black. I walked away with $180. I later won some more on the blackjack table, but that's the best game you can play at a casino concerning the odds.
 

Yassen

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Apr 5, 2008
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Well I'm sure there are plenty in my life but the only one I can recall happened around May. There's this girl who is in every single one of my classes at university, so we ended up talking. After getting to know each other a bit I told her about where I work. My parents had bought a newsagents inside a hospital and I work there for them. When I told her which hospital, she cracked up.

You see, she has this sleaze of a brother who had a girlfriend who was a bit of a drag.... who worked at the very newsagents we bought not long before we bought it. She quit because of some guy down the coast who she moved down to live with, but that went sour and she came back expecting to get her job back as well. But the newsagents had new owners.... my parents. We weren't going to take her back and my friend had always said "good on those new owners, Carolyn would have just been as bad a worker as she was before."

Well those owners had a son who was in every one of her university classes. We're still friends and we still laugh at the absolute improbability of it all.

Edit: Oh I was just reminded of something from Halo 2. This isn't my video but it deffinately deserves to be here. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RqD4ngWSwhE
 

Pegghead

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Aug 4, 2009
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I was playing a game on xbox many years ago, there was a bad thunderstorm outside, I'd just had a missile or something fired at my character. The second it hit the power went out, it was just wierdly coincidental. And have you ever had one of those moments where if you don't do something you'll be in grave danger, like a car could be speeding at you. It seems I get myself into those situations all the time, but when I do, time seems to slow down, and I'll just casually step out of the way, or I'll have like a premonition and avoid what happens. IN fact, come to think about it I may have a guardian angel watching over me that must completely change my sticky situations, I remember I was once at the snowpicking up something I'd dropped on the ground, I was under an icicle covered roof outlet, suddenly a really big sharp one comes falling straight down, it was only a metre away from my neck and there was no strong wind, but it changed angle and rather than piercing it did a 90 degree turn and snapped in half on my neck. Then another time when I was just a wee little thing, I was playing with some toys and I had some string tied around a bowl of some sort of uh, Poh paurie substance sitting on top of the shelves. It was there...I guess for one of my toys to climb up, but I ended up pulling it a wee bit too hard, the whole thing came crashing down, right next to me. I know all this stuffs off topic, but nothing in my life is really all that random, though there was one time where I swear on my giddy Aunt Liddy, I saw a ghostly form of a woman who looked as though she were from the Victorian era, about a week later I was looking through a book all about that kind of stuff (Paranormal things, I'm your man) and they had a perfect artist representation of the woman, and a whole section about her too, she was called the woman in white (No not like the book), and supposedly she's haunted as far back as the medieval ages of Europe.
 

DigitalSushi

a gallardo? fine, I'll take it.
Dec 24, 2008
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sasquatch99 said:
The uproar from the 'Forum Games and RP' threads when I changed an avatar.
It's just a picture, guys. And I'll change it for no-one.

Yeah, my life has been uneventful.
But but but!, its YOUR FACE!
Us internet types get confused easily by change SylarSaquatch!

Thats a freaking awesome name.

Anyway, I once fell down some stairs with a pint of beer, which spun in the air and landed perfectly upright beer in glass... I was drunk and it was great fun.
 

Emperor Inferno

Elite Member
Jun 5, 2008
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grimsprice said:
Emperor Inferno said:
omigod, you guys, one time, when I was havin sex with my girlfriend, we were both naked at the same time!

Wait, does that count as a coincidence?...
Omigod, you guys, this dude, he has the humor of a newt.
Eh, it popped in my head, so I posted it. It was really late at night here, and plus, I have insomnia. Sleep deprivation makes me loopy, and really fucks over my inhibition.
 
Jun 13, 2009
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While talking to someone on the Escapist, I discovered they were in fact someone that I had met and talked to during a friend's birthday party 4 months previously.

It was creepy, yet incredibly cool.
 

Cargando

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Apr 8, 2009
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I was sending out random friend requests to people in the 'recent players' list on Xbox Live. (Note: I had been playing the multiplayer for Halo, not custom games). Sent one to some random guy - turned out it someone actually in my year at school! Brilliant.
 

DuplicateValue

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Jun 25, 2009
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Compatriot Block said:
Some dumb-ass once tried to drop a quarter on my head from the second floor of my local mall. It landed directly in my side pocket, so I went over, bought a soda with it and waved to him.
You can buy a soda with a quarter nowadays?

I'm not American, but that's like 25 cents, right?
 

bigdaddy95

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Jun 30, 2009
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I remember playing Yoshimitsu on Tekken once and I was button mashing. Suddenly I somehwo managed to press the EXACT combination that makes you do that move where you stab yourself! It was hillarious!
 

FalloutJack

Bah weep grah nah neep ninny bom
Nov 20, 2008
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Let's see...

My house had a temporal upset one time when I got up at like 8AM to get ready for the day, and then suddenly every clock read 4AM.

I had a rousting conversation with a large-ish orange squirrel (That's a hybrid of the red squirrel and the gray squirrel, mind you.), whom I of course didn't understand.

bigdaddy95 said:
I remember playing Yoshimitsu on Tekken once and I was button mashing. Suddenly I somehwo managed to press the EXACT combination that makes you do that move where you stab yourself! It was hillarious!
And to this, I say...try playing a DBZ game without ANY real understanding of the controls and then blasting someone with the most powerful move in the game! (This happened one night at my anime club.)
 

Kasawd

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Jun 1, 2009
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Once, one of my room mates had his laptop one with iTunes up on random.

I'll be damned if it DIDN'T play all of his pantera songs in perfect order.

That is SIX songs in a row.
 

Mr.Squishy

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Apr 14, 2009
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grimsprice said:
Emperor Inferno said:
omigod, you guys, one time, when I was havin sex with my girlfriend, we were both naked at the same time!

Wait, does that count as a coincidence?...
Omigod, you guys, this dude, he has the humor of a newt.
Omigod, you guys, this dude, he's insulting newts
 

Murlin

I came here to laugh at you
Jul 15, 2009
535
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I tend to people who look and sound almost exactly like other people I know but who don't have any relation to them in any way.
Or is my perception of the world gotten used to seeing the same generic faces over and over again?
 

Maze1125

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Oct 14, 2008
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Mr. Grey said:
But, something was in the way... 24 Black was already chosen by the ball two turns before, probability states I just did the most stupid thing you could do in this game.
Sorry to burst your bubble, but that's not how probability works.
It doesn't matter what's happened before, the chance of landing on 24 Black was the same.

You could flip a fair coin 50 times and, by chance, get a head each time, but the chance of getting a head next time is still 50/50.

In fact, statistics would say that if the table had landed on 24 Black the previous two times, then the best thing to do would be to bet on 24 Black as the table might have a bias towards that number.
 

Emperor Inferno

Elite Member
Jun 5, 2008
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Here's one a lot like the one in the OP.

In posts section on my profile, where it lists the threads I've been on in order of most recent activity, three of the threads listed are, in this order: How to Break Away From my Girlfriend, I Think my Girlfriend is Crazy, and She's in Love With You, But She Isn't.