In My Defense...

[ultimateownage]

In my defence I'm not a business man!
You sued me!

 

[Blasphemous Rex]

In my defense, I had every right to that lolipop on the ground. It was in my yard, thus it is my property!

You ate a lolipop off the ground!

 

[ultimateownage]

In my defence, I washed it first!
You ate shit!

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, it's a delicacy in some places!

You didn't learn how to multiply!

 

[ultimateownage]

In my defence, I don't want children!
You raped a donkey!

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, it totally asked for it!

You brought a lizard home!

 

[Blasphemous Rex]

In my defense, I named it Yoshi.

You hugged a grizzly bear.

 

[ultimateownage]

In my defence, he saved my life!
You killed and skinned my bear friend!

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, I needed something warm, and he attacked me!

You held out on me!

 

[Blasphemous Rex]

In my defense, now you owe me your soul.

You sold your soul to me!

 

[ultimateownage]

In my defence, I have no soul!
You owe me money!

 

[Blasphemous Rex]

In my defense, I was going to auction off your soul for the money.

You haven't derailed this thread by 191 pages!

 

[ultimateownage]

In my defence, I can't be asked!
You derail threads!

 

[Blasphemous Rex]

In my defense, they're usually better that way.

You're in denial.

 

[SnootyEnglishman]

In my defense i'm under the influence.


You bended the unbendable

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, a friend was trapped under the beam!

You messed up a reference!

 

[SnootyEnglishman]

In my defense it was a crappy reference.

You mated with a section of the carpet.

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, I was trying to make your carpet cover more area!
Baby carpets, dammit!

You didn't make the right choice on a poll!

 

[SnootyEnglishman]

In my defense the poll was completely biased and rigged.

You glitched the system.

 

[Neonbob]

In my defense, I'm a Q.A. tester. That's my job.

You took my wallet and sold it for crack!