In My Defense...

[LewsTherin]

In my defence, I'm covered in the things.

You drop kicked a walrus.

 

[Birras]

In my defense, you suplexed a train.

You gave me Type 13 diabeetus.

 

[LilGherkin]

In my defense we were having a fight over who got the last of the mussels.
In My Defense you created 10 more types, I just made the 13th to make you stop.

You didn't pay your tab at the bar.

 

[LewsTherin]

In my defence the ale was piss.

You didn't stop for that old lady.

 

[LilGherkin]

In My Defense, I'm pretty confident she had a concealed weapon.

You shot the sheriff.

 

[Birras]

In my defence, I also shot the deputy. Now they can be together in Hell.

You suplexed a motherfucking train

 

[Pariah87]

I'm my defense I was tired of all the motherfucking snakes on it.

You ran a red light.

 

[Birras]

In my defense, I had to get a steel rod taken out of my soul.

You stole my pipe bomb!

 

[LilGherkin]

In My Defense I didn't waste it like you would have.

You ran a dog over.

 

[Sigel]

In My Defense I didn't waste it like you would have.

You ran a dog over.

In my defense, he should not have been driving
You are playing poker with a bunch of dogs.

 

[Birras]

In my defense, they were the only ones I knew who didn't know I rigged my poker games!

You are an expression of forward momentum preserved between two inter-dimensional portals!

 

[Mookie_Magnus]

In my defense, I am the gatekeeper, and I was searching for the keymaster.

You raped my chihuahua.

 

[jaeger138]

In my defence, she was looking at me with those come-hither eyes

You licked my Grandma!

 

[ElephantGuts]

In my defence I was on acid and I thought she was much hotter...I think I thought she was a dog.

You shot the Pope!

 

[jaeger138]

In my defence, he took acid and called my grandma a dog

You spilled coffee all over this thread!

 

[Birras]

In my defense, I tripped on a ninja and just happened to spill my double-tall-triple-whip-single-shot-espresso-decaf-latte on the thread!
You assassinated Godzilla!

 

[jaeger138]

In my defence, he was eating the last bowl of Frosties...and I LUUURRRRVE Frosties

You stripped and painted yourself blue from head to toe!

 

[ElephantGuts]

In my defence...oh damn, I already used the acid excuse. Then...I was in Cirque Du Soleil?

(And by the way I didn't call your grandma a dog, I said a dog was hotter than her.

You made a wooden puppet and then had sex with it!

 

[Birras]

EDIT:Ninja'd

In my defence, you shot me down so many times and I needed someone to do the horozontal Monster Mash with!

You just baked a cake shaped like the internets!

 

[jaeger138]

In my defence, I had way too much flour, way too much time and not enough wooden puppets.

You Finished the whole cake! That was meant for the rest of the internets too!