*Insert game here* is teaching our kids to *insert action here*

[scorptatious]

Since we have yet another news post about a politician claiming video games are poisoning our society, let's talk about all the games that influence our children to do nasty (or sometimes great) things!

Bioshock is a horrible game! It teaches kids to inject themselves with strange fluids and to kidnap and "harvest" little girls!

 

[Daystar Clarion]

The Walking Dead is awful, it's teaching our kids to keep that hair short...


[sub][sub]Hair short...[/sub][/sub]

[sub][sub][sub]Oh god, the feels...[/sub][/sub][/sub]

 

[Benpasko]

Professor Layton teaches kids to solve stupid math and logic puzzles.

 

[Auron225]

Assassin's Creed is shocking! My children keep on assassinating 12th Century political leaders!

They're going to rewrite history if this doesn't stop!!

 

[Baron von Blitztank]

Mass Effect is absolutely horrible! It starts school shootings!

 

[Dirty Hipsters]

Megaman is a terrible game, it teaches our children that they should kill their enemies to harvest their powers!

 

[PsychicTaco115]

Hitman is teaching our children that being bald is GOOD! And that permanent tattoos are COOL!

So blasphemous

 

[NinjaDeathSlap]

Thanks to Dishonored I reintroduced the Black Plague to London. Despicable!

In my defense, nothing clears a crowded tube carriage faster than summoning a swarm of giant hungry rats from the ether.

 

[sanquin]

Because of LoL, I now keep trying to 'last hit' kill little children in the hopes of getting money for it. Heck, because I've been playing fiddle so much I even started carrying a scythe with me!

 

[Frission]

It's unacceptable! The Binding of Isaac has taught my children to respond to abuse by crying at me!

 

[Mikejames]

Portal has the audacity to teach us to do what we must, because we can.

The Walking Dead is awful, it's teaching our kids to keep that hair short...

Alternatively, that too much salt will kill you.

 

[sylekage]

Singularity has taught kids that screwing with the space- time continuum can be a Fun! Or, even better, hanging out with Russians!


Captcha: as you wish...your majESTY!!

 

[The Wykydtron]

BlazBlue gives children the exact wrong impression on what appropriate battle gear is. It is only a matter of time until girls go boxing wearing half a shirt, a quarter of what used to be a pair of shorts, thigh high stockings and stylish running shoes. Not to mention men going into battle with nothing but an incredibly stylish suit and matching hat on.

Godforbid someone who plays these games gets into military clothing design. We'll have women wearing nothing but metallic thongs and half a bikini instead of armour in no time. Plenty of leg protection though.

[sub][sub]^ Apt description of Mu-12's clothing right here[/sub][/sub]

The amount of Swag in the world would increase considerably however. This should be taken into account.

 

[Jolly Co-operator]

inFamous is atrocious! It's teaching my children to avoid baths!

 

[SD-Fiend]

Z.H.P is an awful game. it teaches kids to be stalkers!

Creeper Ranger!

 

[MeChaNiZ3D]

Phoenix Wright teaches children the legal system is easily duped, you can't trust detectives, and you don't have to be smart to be a lawyer.

Pokemon teaches children that gambling will get you a Porygon, and if you come across a wild animal it's perfectly acceptable to set your dog on it.

Mario teaches children to tread violently on mushrooms and turtles.

Qwop teaches children that it's a miracle they can walk straight.

Pacman teaches children the only way to avoid ghosts is overeating.

Assassin's Creed teaches children that if you're quick enough, you can stab someone in the back and just walk off with no repercussions, and that you can swim through crowds (this one is true, I've tried it).

Skyrim teaches children that if you're successful and talented enough, you can commit crimes and no-one will reprimand you.

Dark Souls teaches children to choose more appropriate games for their age/skill bracket.

 

[Avalanche91]

Persona 4 teaches our children that it's ok to be flawed and that you should have an active social life. Ludicrous I say; I didn't buy my hypothetical children an I-Phone 8 just so they could accept themselves and be a productive member of society.

 

[triggrhappy94]

GTA Vice City made me want to become a cocaine dealer in Miami during the '70s. This whole college thing is to just kill time until I can get that figured out.

 

[Tiamattt]

Angry birds is teaching our kids to suicide-launch themselves into anyone that steals from them

Mortal Kombat teaches our kids that if you're fighting someone, both people are immortal and won't die no matter what you do to each other, until a big boom voicing says "FINISH HIM/HER"

TF2 teaches our kids that a knife to the back is more deadly then a rocket to the face. Also that hats > skill

 

[Stryc9]

Tetris is the worst game of all, it's a stacking efficiency simulator that is teaching our children to keep their heart rates low while the stack oddly shaped bricks! Ban this sick filth! Won't SOMEBODY THINK OF THE CHILDREN!?!?!?!?!????