Instead of a Christmas bonus, I want...

[Vegosiux]

Hello, all you working escapists! I was wondering what you'd really like for Christmas from your bosses this year. Keep it funky! You can ask for super powers, but only limited to whatever you do at work.

Me, instead of a Christmas bonus, I'm going to ask for omnipresence. "Everywhere at the same time" is so often where I need to be, and while I'm reasonably good at prioritizing and getting around, it's kinda stressful. Being everywhere at once would be great in case of trouble.

Because...ding ding ding...
Captcha: space is big

 

[JoJo]

I'm currently job-hunting, so I would ask for the power of persuasion so at my next interview I can effortlessly persuade them to give me the job

 

[A Distant Star]

I would like to work at a place that actually gave Christmas bonuses.

 

[Meestor Pickle]

The ability to refuse custom!

 

[Scarim Coral]

What I want is actually to have the two Christmas weeks off from work since my god danm manager put me on BOTH Christmas Eve and Boxing Day and I'm also working the day after Boxing Day!! At least last year I had Eve off! Sure I do get paid extra (1.5 more) on Boxing day and it is short hours but I can't exactly get to spend those extra money can't I (I missed out on Boxing Day sales)?!

EDIT- Actually now I think about it, having the manager either retire/ sacked or getting transfer to somewhere else or I get transfered to the new store in this town would also make my Christmas!

 

[Idlemessiah]

I'd like the ability to promote myself when I need the money and demote myself when the job gets too stressful.

 

[SinisterGehe]

I would like to ask for a cure to my brain damage that has rendered me unable to work, suffer horrible pains, spasms and cramps 24 hours a day. That or I could get back to my last job in the game the game studio I was working as environment designer. Even with my poor condition I enjoyed working so much that I managed from day to day. - but alas as everything has to end so did that project we were working on and team was liquified. Most programmers got jobs instantly but artist and designers got the short end of the stick at job market.
So I crashed in to deep depression and doctors sent me to 1½ years of sick leave and benefits - or until I feel like I can work and find a job.

And I got a bait next year for a firm to design lamps and overseer product design and development. Small but growing firm.
Please wish me luck!

 

[FoolKiller]

I would like the power to have my dream job in the vicinity of the dream job of my dream girl. A wonderful career and a wonderful love life all in one.

 

[UniversalRonin]

Did someone say 'mind jacking into the network? Sure as hell I'd use it outside of the office, but as an IT Support Dude, it would make my job easier.

 

[Imperioratorex Caprae]

1. A job
2. If I can be picky, a job I'd actually enjoy.
3. If I can be really picky, a GOOD PAYING JOB I love.

Since all 3 things are pretty much the same, I'd take any of them but prefer the obvious... But really as of right now I'm not picky as long as I'm physically capable of fulfilling the requirements since I do have some structural issues.

 

[Trippy Turtle]

Well I haven't had a shift in months, but I'd like either A: To only be put on the quiet shifts with only Dave who I loved working with.
Or B: The power of persuasion like others have said in order to be able to sell warranties finally, have customers actually believe me (I look dishonest or something, but they never trust me when I say we don't have something or that this cable/antenna/whatever will work.), and get a girlfriend?

Oh and tons of free stuff. I'd use these powers for pure personal gain until I am 'gifted' enough money to hire a personal conscience.
Then with said conscience I would probably help some people and make Maxis create Spore 2: Not Completely Ruined Edition.

 

[teqrevisited]

I'd like five times my strength because other sorting offices seem to ignore the safe weight limit for filling mailbags. I enjoy my job but there are some things that take very little effort that other people just don't do and it annoys the hell out of me.

 

[sanquin]

The power to levitate anything up to, say, 2000 kilos with telekinesis. I do volunteer work at a petting zoo, and there's a lot of construction and redecorating going on. Plus dragging packs of hay around isn't fun either.

Alternatively, I'd love to be able to talk to animals. Like, if I talk in my language they understand me, and if they communicate with me I understand it as if they were talking to me. I would be the world's most incredible animal whisperer!

 

[Kyrian007]

Reading some of the responses I guess I'm just happy to HAVE a job. Still, 5 to 7 years ago we got 100 to 200 dollars for a bouns. 4 years ago we got 40 - 50 dollars in trade-out (gift cards, coupons, that sort of thing.) 3 years ago... a ham (according to my brother it was an "expensive" ham.) 2 years ago, a maybe 30 dollar hoodie. Last year, a can of "ChipZelPop" (a can of potato chips, pretzels, and popcorn with some chocolate on it.)

You can see the trend. I'm not expecting much more this year than a Laurel and hardy handshake. But again seeing some of the responses... it seems pretty lucky that I could even expect that much. If I were to ask for anything... some kind of Tenure agreement? It's not the best paying job, but I like doing it regardless of the high-pressure nature.

 

[johnnyLupine]

No more scare tactics to pressure people into using up the holidays they saved before Christmas. Being blocked from booking time off you had saved for Christmas until the last minute is unpleasant enough without being told only the first 3% of people to book it will get ;it off while another 7% will only know a week before hand.

Everyone has plans for these days and we need to
know if we are working. Being told we can use it up early to prevent looking it altogether? That serves to make matters worse.

 

[lord.jeff]

I'm getting laid off on Dec 28 so for my Christmas bonus I'd like to keep my job.