Internet survivor

[Vhite]

Lets say that someone you know is going on internet for a first time, what three advises will you give him/her to save his/hers life?

 

[FactualSquirrel]

1) Don't get shot
2) Don't eat raw food
3) Don't eat yellow snow

OH, you mean ways for them not to be disgusted.

I can give you 1:
Don'te be an idiot.

 

[Fappy]

Open all the emails in your spam folder. They have great deals!

 

[skitzo van]

1. Don't go to anywebsite that your friends haven't told you about
2. Delete your cookies after you visit a suspicious website
3. Don't open an email unless you know the sender

 

[Mr Montmorency]

Post your contact information on 4chan.

 

[Girl With One Eye]

Use google to find the porn

 

[supermaster1337]

Watch out for the internet zombies.
Download as much music as possible using limewire or some other site like that.
When in doubt never ask google, he has no idea what he is talking about.

 

[El Poncho]

I would link them to the rules of the internet.

 

[kebab4you]

Hmm...
1) Avoid furry´s at all cost, they are scary people that you don't want contact with
2) Never download porn, stream it
3) When bored, visit 4chan.
That should make any new user ready for what internet have to offer.

 

[Shock and Awe]

1. Never give away credit card numbers or Social Security numbers to sites that even have a small chance of not being legit.

2. Get a security program.

3. DO NOT PISS OFF 4CHAN

 

[Vampire cat]

1) Don't go to any websites your friends haven't told you about.
2) Don't go to any websites your friends have told you about.
3) Don't go to any websites.

 

[zHellas]

Hmm...
1) Avoid furry´s at all cost, they are scary people that you don't want contact with

Furries aren't scary.

OT:

1.) Never go to 4chan.org
2.) Never go to Encyclopedia Dramatica.
3.) Never listen to anything you see in an email from anyone you don't know.

 

[Quiet Stranger]

Hmm...
1) Avoid furry´s at all cost, they are scary people that you don't want contact with

Furries aren't scary.

OT:

1.) Never go to 4chan.org
2.) Never go to Encyclopedia Dramatica.
3.) Never listen to anything you see in an email from anyone you don't know.

Furries aren`t scary???? HE'S A FURRY! KILL HIM!

I don't know, everything I learned about what not to do on the internet I learned from Mickey Mouse

 

[Breaker deGodot]

I would link them to the rules of the internet.

Agreed. If they don't get the first two, tell them to go home and watch Fight Club; they aren't old enough for teh intarwebs.

 

[Lineoutt]

Masturbate on chatroulette.com

Dis peoples everything you can. It makes them stronger.

Give out your info a lot so people know your human.

Give people your credit card number so they know you aren't poor.

 

[Latinidiot]

rule number 1:

DON'T PANIC.

 

[Ken Sapp]

1) Unplug your PC
2) Go outside
3) Enjoy having a life

 

[Guy32]

1) Unplug your PC
2) Go outside
3) Enjoy having a life

Probably this. If they haven't been on the internet yet, they best keep it up.

If you have been on the internet, avoid talking to strangers. It's not like I'm worried about predators, it's just sorta pointless to get into arguments you cant finish.

 

[Omikron009]

1. Exercise common sense.
2. The opinions of random people on the internet mean nothing, so don't let them get to you.
3. Encyclopedia Dramatica is a great place to start.

Lawl!