Interviews with skyrim characters.

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Doclector

New member
Aug 22, 2009
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Yes, I've gone mad. This is an astoundingly dumb, crazy idea, and I must have truly lost it to believe that anyone on here's gonna read something longer than a few sentences, but sod it, I want to do it, and I hope to see if anyone else has the possibly insane tendency to give my skyrim characters a full personality and a little backstory.

Post an interview with your skyrim character, as many as them as you like. It could be in any format you want, but I'll be damn impressed if you bother making a video/audio version.

The questions could vary, but here's some suggestions;

What do you do in skyrim/what's your job?

Why do you do it? How?

What's your position on the war?

What do you say about rumours that you're dragonborn/a werewolf/a vampire?

Write the questions in italics, the code for it is 'i' in a square brackets, same as
and such.

What do you do in skyrim?

I solve problems. Bandit problems, falmer problems, ghost, daedra, whatever problems, then I get paid for it, or I just sell their stuff.

How do you do that?

Same way anything seems to get done in skyrim; Killing them. Usually with my bow, from the shadows if I can. Sometimes I can manage to wipe out entire groups of them without them ever knowing I'm there. If not, I take out the rest with my axe and sheild. I only have one rule; No innocents harmed.

Doesn't that make things difficult, with the war?

Sometimes. Soldiers don't normally attack anyone who hasn't picked a side, but being an imperial, cyrodil born and bred, I can bet I'll have trouble with the stormcloaks at some point. I might have to pick a side, and to be honest, it makes me uncomfortable.

Why?

The stormcloaks aren't all evil. I don't agree with ulfric at all, but I don't get along with the thalmor either. They're just taking whatever side they think works, under the armour, without their weapons, they're just farmers, merchants, just normal people, citizens. It doesn't feel right that I might have to kill them one day just to stop the war, or just to protect myself.

What do you say to rumours that you're dragonborn?

Erm...

At this point, a woman in hooded leather armour nearby made a gesture of dismissal to John

No comment.

What do you do in skyrim?

I smash things!

Could you...elaborate?

I smash things for money.

Okay...

Someone always wants some 'un else smashed. Jarl wants some bandits smashed, guard wants some dragon smashed, I wants some dwarf machines smashed so I can make some armour, that's what I love about skyrim, there's always something to smash, always some fightin' to be done!

I see...Why do you do that?

I already said didn't I? You deaf or somethin'? Money. Well, that and that I like smashin' things! I love the cracking sound of some idiot's ribs when I smashes them with my hammer! Matter of fact, I'd probably do it for free, until I ran out of mead, o' course...

What's your position on the war?

Ulfric needs to be smashed. He don't like orcs, or elves, or anyone except for nords. I like nords, they make good fightin', but even I don't wanna have to fight all o' them just to stay in skyrim.

What do you say about rumours that you and the companions are werewolves?

Erm...Ah, this interview's over!

At this point, Urdnot punched our interviewer in the face and jumped out the window.

What do you do in skyrim?

Whatever gets the coin.

Continue?

*sigh* I may be involved in a few illegal operations. What's legality anyway in times like this? Wars going on, dragons all over, anything I steal's probably going to get looted or burned anyway. So, yeah, I steal things, I sneak around, pick people's pockets, get into people's houses and take their valuables, occasionally leave something...illicit there, if the thieves guild requires me to do so. I also do the odd assassination. It all gets good money, and hey, among loads of soldiers dying everyday, what difference does the odd nosy person who got too interested in something for his own good gonna do?

Do you ever feel remorse for it?

Pfft. Remorse is something you feel for a friend who dies of rockjoint. All this is just business. Maybe a few people get upset, but it's all part of the game.

What's your position on the war?

An empireless skyrim...could be profitable. Of course, I side with uflric, I'm not going to be the most popular guy in camp, and who knows how he'll treat me after the war. Of course, though, I was never on the right side of the law in the first place, what's a little more hiding from ulfric? I don't know. All I know is all this chaos is good for business, and until one side looks more profitable than the other, the fence is a pretty comfortable place to sit for people like me.

What do you say about rumours that you're dragonborn?

How did you...And? So what? I'm supposed to be some big hero? Maybe I'll do some things that pay well, honestly, the money you nords'll pay for a few old dragon bones is ridiculous, but I'm no saviour. I'm just another guy trying to get some coin where-ever he can.

Heh, 3000 posts. Seems fitting that milestone should belong to some typically tldr stuff from me.
 

DoPo

"You're not cleared for that."
Jan 30, 2012
8,665
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Duka, Dunmer

What do you do in skyrim/what's your job?

I'm seeking to advance my knowledge in the arcane.

Why do you do it? How?

I heard Skyrim didn't have volcanoes that would attempt to obliterate your home. *laughs* But More seriously, I came for the college of Winterhold, because of the high esteem it has in my family. Why, my grandfather attended there, as well as some of my other relatives. And to tell you the truth, Cyrodiil is a bit dull, also *leans closer* I don't like those Thalmor that stomp around.

What's your position on the war?

My family has been a big supporter of the Empire over the years. If family accounts are to be believed, right from before we left Morrowind. I don't really know if that is true, but I do believe in the Empire. I think it's better to be with them, than against them. I was born and raised in Cyrodiil, you see, but I have also been back "home" in Morrowind and I have studied it's history - the Empire brought positive change, for sure. I think the position with Skyrim is the same.

What do you say about rumours that you're a vampire?

Oh that - it's nothing just rumours. Oh, did I tell you you had beautiful eyes? Just gorgeous, can I have a better look at them? Lovely. Will you obey my will?

Y-yes, I will.

Where did you heard these..."rumours"?

I-I think it was in Riften.

Who did you hear them from?

I-I think i-it was in the inn. With the Argonian innkeeper. I don't know who exactly.

Fair enough. They were just foul rumours. You will think nothing of them but you will try to quench them if you come across more of them. Now where were we?

Funny, it just slipped out of my mind. Let me check my notes. Oh, what are your plans for the future.

Oh, I think I'll head over to Riften. I know, I know - nothing very magical there to speak of, but it's just part of a personal research of mine.

Razbar, Khajiit
What do you do in skyrim/what's your job?

Razbar is involved in the business of...opportunity, so to say. Doing what has to be done when it has to be done. Preferrably by being well paid.

Is that a sellsword or something?

Yes, or something.

Why do you do it? How?

Mostly because Razbar is bored. Stabbing things is fun but I need motivation, otherwise it gets tiresome. Actually shooting them more often. But also stabbing. Sometimes poisoning. No magic, though, Dazbar doesn't like that stuff. It's bad for the fur.

I...see. What's your position on the war?

Too much killing. Razbar thinks a war is just too...impersonal, emotionless. Too overt.

Interesting. *cough* Excuse me. What do you say about rumours that you're dragnonborn?

Great stuff. Razbar gets to kill dragons. Kill them very thoroughly. It's a magnificent feeling.

So you really are dragonborn?

Sure.

That's so exciting! *cough* Sorry. And why is it that you didn't state that before more openly? The people of Skyrim will no doubt want to know that you are, *cough* pardon, a living legend.

Eh, nothing personal, but Razbar has enemies and people looking for him.

Anything you can talk about? Or maybe hint at?

Officially or unofficially?

Your preference. *cough*

Razbar killed the emperor.

WHAT?

Yes, also his cousin at her wedding and, really, Razbar left a trail of bodies to get to the emperor. Razbar then butchered him.

WHY?

It was fun. A nice challenge. Nothing personal, though, Razbar just likes killing.

Oh, divines, why are you telling me this? What will you do to me now?

Nothing. Razbar will just wait.

I-I, ungh

See, beautiful isn't it. Razbar mixed this new poison very recently. No scent or taste. Perfect for adding undetected to food or, for example, a mug of mead. It acts slow, so the victim may enjoy it longer. Don't bother to run - moving a lot just makes you feel more pain.

Hghg...

Interesting. Loss of speech. Razbar knew he had to watch the effect closely. Mind if Razbar borrows that paper?

Hmgh...

Yes, Razbar will need the ink and quill too. But before you perish *leans closer* grettings from Sithis.
 

DJjaffacake

New member
Jan 7, 2012
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What do you do in skyrim/what's your job?
Roving second hand trouser salesman (also known as a wandering mercenary adveturer)

Why do you do it?
I obviously love trousers (and money and boring shit like that)

How?
By killing the previous occupants of the trousers, stripping their corpses of the trousers, and selling the trousers to whoever will pay.

What's your position on the war?
For Skyr- Oh wait, the rebels are all massive racists. The Empire it is then!

What do you say about rumours that you're dragonborn?
Dragons have no trousers, why would I want anything to do with them?

What do you say about rumours that you're a werewolf?
Every time I transform I would waste a perfectly good pair of trousers, why would I want that?
 

Doclector

New member
Aug 22, 2009
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DoPo said:
Duka, Dunmer

What do you do in skyrim/what's your job?

I'm seeking to advance my knowledge in the arcane.

Why do you do it? How?

I heard Skyrim didn't have volcanoes that would attempt to obliterate your home. *laughs* But More seriously, I came for the college of Winterhold, because of the high esteem it has in my family. Why, my grandfather attended there, as well as some of my other relatives. And to tell you the truth, Cyrodiil is a bit dull, also *leans closer* I don't like those Thalmor that stomp around.

What's your position on the war?

My family has been a big supporter of the Empire over the years. If family accounts are to be believed, right from before we left Morrowind. I don't really know if that is true, but I do believe in the Empire. I think it's better to be with them, than against them. I was born and raised in Cyrodiil, you see, but I have also been back "home" in Morrowind and I have studied it's history - the Empire brought positive change, for sure. I think the position with Skyrim is the same.

What do you say about rumours that you're a vampire?

Oh that - it's nothing just rumours. Oh, did I tell you you had beautiful eyes? Just gorgeous, can I have a better look at them? Lovely. Will you obey my will?

Y-yes, I will.

Where did you heard these..."rumours"?

I-I think it was in Riften.

Who did you hear them from?

I-I think i-it was in the inn. With the Argonian innkeeper. I don't know who exactly.

Fair enough. They were just foul rumours. You will think nothing of them but you will try to quench them if you come across more of them. Now where were we?

Funny, it just slipped out of my mind. Let me check my notes. Oh, what are your plans for the future.

Oh, I think I'll head over to Riften. I know, I know - nothing very magical there to speak of, but it's just part of a personal research of mine.

Razbar, Khajiit
What do you do in skyrim/what's your job?

Razbar is involved in the business of...opportunity, so to say. Doing what has to be done when it has to be done. Preferrably by being well paid.

Is that a sellsword or something?

Yes, or something.

Why do you do it? How?

Mostly because Razbar is bored. Stabbing things is fun but I need motivation, otherwise it gets tiresome. Actually shooting them more often. But also stabbing. Sometimes poisoning. No magic, though, Dazbar doesn't like that stuff. It's bad for the fur.

I...see. What's your position on the war?

Too much killing. Razbar thinks a war is just too...impersonal, emotionless. Too overt.

Interesting. *cough* Excuse me. What do you say about rumours that you're dragnonborn?

Great stuff. Razbar gets to kill dragons. Kill them very thoroughly. It's a magnificent feeling.

So you really are dragonborn?

Sure.

That's so exciting! *cough* Sorry. And why is it that you didn't state that before more openly? The people of Skyrim will no doubt want to know that you are, *cough* pardon, a living legend.

Eh, nothing personal, but Razbar has enemies and people looking for him.

Anything you can talk about? Or maybe hint at?

Officially or unofficially?

Your preference. *cough*

Razbar killed the emperor.

WHAT?

Yes, also his cousin at her wedding and, really, Razbar left a trail of bodies to get to the emperor. Razbar then butchered him.

WHY?

It was fun. A nice challenge. Nothing personal, though, Razbar just likes killing.

Oh, divines, why are you telling me this? What will you do to me now?

Nothing. Razbar will just wait.

I-I, ungh

See, beautiful isn't it. Razbar mixed this new poison very recently. No scent or taste. Perfect for adding undetected to food or, for example, a mug of mead. It acts slow, so the victim may enjoy it longer. Don't bother to run - moving a lot just makes you feel more pain.

Hghg...

Interesting. Loss of speech. Razbar knew he had to watch the effect closely. Mind if Razbar borrows that paper?

Hmgh...

Yes, Razbar will need the ink and quill too. But before you perish *leans closer* grettings from Sithis.
Heh, clever.

What do you do in skyrim?

Whatever I want.

And what is it you want?

Right now? A nice cyrodilic brandy sounds good, I might just steal that. Later? Maybe a little...entertainment.

You're certainly not shy about your criminal acts...

Why should I be? What, because I could get caught? Then what, ma'am? Where will they hold me?

A...dungeon?

*Laughs* Maybe for a while, enjoy a jarl's hopsitality, then break out, leaving several disemboweled guards behind.

...why do you do these things?

You seem a little nervous. What's wrong? It's all just a bit of fun, all another twist in the road. A murder here, a terrible accidental fire there, it's all just fun.

I doubt anyone...agrees

Perhaps. But they haven't had their homeland burned by a gigantic random rumbling of the earth's bowels, have they? See, it's all just chaos. Oh, the gods, the nine, eight, whatever you want to call them are there. So are the daedra...I know some of them. But at the end of the day? They have no interest in us beyond mere play, so why should I have any more interest in anyone else?

So the war...

All fun and games. Watch them run. Watch them die. Y'know, some of these people were neighbors before ulfric decided to have a little fun with torygg? Imagine that...Old man battleborn and one of those gray manes, eventually dying together in a ditch! *Laughs* It's all fun and games for me, too. In all this, nobody questions a few soldiers going missing...a midnight snack!

What do you mean?

Well, you're going to ask, aren't you? The rumours have been flying, somewhat. May as well come out with it. I'm a vampire. BOO! *laughs* Oh calm down. We've been here for ages, you're just paying attention now because we're playing a little more than usual. Oh, I remember right after I became one of the undead, I stopped along at a thalmor post...not so big and bad now, huh?

Well, this has been...interesting, I'm going to leave now.

I suggest you leave quickly, then. It's more fun that way.

What do you do in skyrim?

I hunt evil. Skyrim's a harsh, untamed land. In cyrodil, the evils of this world had little place to hide, well, until the oblivion crisis, you understand. Cities everywhere, settlements dotted around. For evil to grow, it must go unnoticed until the right time, and in cyrodil it was left to wander dark forests, caves, and even sewers. Here, evil has plenty of places to go unchecked, and people like me can make a living trying to bring it to justice.

What is "evil"?

So many forms...daedra, vampires, draugr, dragons, all sorts of monsters.

How do you hunt them?

The methods vary, but mostly, I use my sword and my spells. It's all about using the right things for...the right "things".

What's your position on the war?

I fight for the empire. Something of a personal interest, you could say, seeming as my part-elf blood offends ulfric. Not all evil is monstrous, sometimes it's just one man wanting too much power.

What do you say to rumour that you're a werewolf yourself?

I won't confirm or deny such frivolous talk, it barely warrants an answer...but I will say this; If I was, would it matter?
 

SirPlindington

New member
Jun 28, 2012
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What do you do in Skyrim?

A few things. As Arch-mage, it is my duty to research new forms of magic and test it out on any fools that cross my path. As Harbinger of the Companions, I must ride bravely into battle and bring fame to me to my brothers. As Listener of the Dark Brotherhood, I must kill for the glory of Sithis. And of course, as Dohvakiin, I must kill any dragons that I find. But one thing I do not do is help people. My only true loyalties are to the Greybeards and the Dark Brotherhood, my two families. I am also a soldier in the Imperial Army, but that's mainly because the Stormcolaks are, to be frank, some of the most blatantly racist people I've ever met. Political beliefs do come into it, but barely.

Why do you do it? How?

I do what I do because I benefits me and my Family in the Dark Brotherhood, and of course, my sweet husband Ghorbash. One day, I'd like to settle down in Markarth with him, maybe have a summer home in Dushnikh Yal, his home stronghold. Maybe one day we could even raise a little assassin of our own. And yes, I am a man. You got a problem? Anyway, How I do it is rather simple; I kill. I don't slaughter innocents (for the most part), although I've been known to steal a few thousand gold in my time. But I mainly kill bandits, dragons, evil mages and the like. Those that deserve Sithis' cold embrace.

What's your position on the war?

I suppose I'll elaborate. Like I said, I support the Empire. They've kept Tamriel strong over many centuries, and if Skyrim were to secede, it would throw everything off balance. Perhaps one day, it could be dissolved, but what we need now is not civil war. We must band our forces together and destroy the Thalmor and the Aldmeri Dominion.

What do you say about the rumors that you're the Dragonborn, and a Werewolf?

Aye, I'm a Werewolf, and if you have a problem, I'll rip out your throat and have it for dinner. And as to claims that I'm the Dragonborn, they're true as well, and I'm proud. I might as well shout it from the rooftops, if you get my meaning.
 

Ragsnstitches

New member
Dec 2, 2009
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So, Davos, that's an unusual name for a Nord, any history behind it?

My Father liked a character in some book he read. I'm not sure of its origin.

And Coldhands? Cold hands warm hearth? *grins*

*Frowns*

*Hrhmmm*... Is that your Clan name or does it have an unconventional origin like Davos?

My Great, Great Grandfather was a mage who practised the School of Destruction and specialised in the element of Frost. He adopted the name when he created a new clan... family feud and such. Apparently he could chill a mug of mead just by holding it without channelling the element itself, simply because his hands were permanently cold.

Not a hit with the ladies then?

Nords, both men and women, are hardier folk then you Bretons. We bump uglies on frozen mountain tops with merely the pelt of a bear to keep us warm.

I didn't mean to offend. Eh, er, anyway, this is meant to be about you. So, tell me... what is it you do here in Skyrim.

Travel. Do odd jobs here and there. Sometimes I do the odd bounty... not that they pay well, but a good melee is always welcome. On occasion, I return to the Companions to fulfil my duties as a member, though I tend to remain distant to them. However I carry their work ethic anywhere I go, with or without pay.

A Companion! Those Warriors are pretty legendary around these parts. I heard they were hit with a tragedy recently, would you like to add a few words on that?

No. The Companions are a Brotherhood. A family. We do not share our private affairs with the uninitiated. No Offence, just tradition.

And none taken. I can respect holding true to traditional values. Companions are, and I mean no offence by this, but they are notoriously critical of magic users. Did they give you any grief? You are capable of performing magic aren't you?

I suppose I am capable, but I don't pursue it. I prefer the cold edge of steel and the masterly crafted shield over the Arcane arts. Though that said, I'm not as bigoted as my Nord brothers sometimes are. Magic has its uses and its an element of life, refusing its existence only burdens us with ignorance.
As for the Companions. The notoriety is well placed... though they won't hold an aptitude towards magic against you if you prove yourself as fierce and reliable as the rest of them.

I doubt it has escaped your notice, but... Dragons. As a companion have you had to deal with them?

As I said earlier, I travel. My link with the Companions is something I earned, but not something I have fully embraced. I have seen my shield brothers and sisters slay dragons yet at the same time they realise that Dragons aren't the only Menace in Skyrim. But make no mistake, the Companions are Mercenaries, they only take jobs that pay well... the people who are able to afford them for Dragon Hunting are too preoccupied by the War to allocate funds to mercs, and those that do need help can't afford it. This is part of the reason for my unenthusiastic relationship with them.
But yes, I have dealt with Dragons. I have... responsibilities. I will say no more then that.

A shame. You sound like you've been through a lot. You must have a story you can share with us. Maybe a fight with a Dragon? Or some other adventure?

Well, I suppose I can share this story. It's not my greatest achievement, but it is a story that entertains. I was in pursuit of a bounty given by the Jarl of Whiterun, the target was a very big, unfriendly giant. He had been raiding the local Farmsteads and had already killed a guard and a few travellers. I had tracked him down near a Giants camp, lumbering his way around the perimeter. While I was considering my angle of approach, of all things a DRAGON appeared on the horizon. This wasn't one of those lesser Dragons that attack small populations or torch huts... this was an Ancient Dragon, a powerful and terrifying creature. I'm not sure what it was doing here, but when it arrived near my locations it ATTACKED the giants.

Amazing! That must have been some sight.

Indeed. Rather then interrupting this titanic battle, I decided to watch and see how it would turn out. After the Giant who was standing by the camp fire went down to the flames of the dragon, the fight then seemed to gravitate further and further away. It was only then that I noticed a Khajiit Caravan was following the road and was about to walk right into the battle...

Then what happened?

I had to act. I drew my Bow and attempted to get the attention of both the Dragon AND the Rogue Giant. The Dragon shrugged my diversion off and kept at the Giant, but the Giant seemed to really hate arrows. The big lumbering beast came down on top of me just as I had drawn my sword and shield. It was wounded from its fight with the Dragon, but it was still dangerous. The giant wailed on me with all its might but fatigue had set in. Following one final blast from the dragon, who at this time had become an unwitting ally, the Giant went to its knees. I proceeded to finish the creature off, as the unspoken truce with the dragon was not going to last.

What of the Caravan?

Well here is another twist. A good friend, also Khajiit, was guarding the Caravan. Amidst the howls, smoke and flames we found each other back to back as the Dragon Circled above. I was making use of my skills in Archery trying to bring that Dragon to the ground where my friend and I would have a better chance at defeating it. The Dragon soon succumbed to his wounds and hit the ground... hard. We closed the gap fast, myself taking it on from the front, while my friend went in at an angle. After a few minutes of near death experiences, the Dragon finally fell.

That is incredible... and this isn't your greatest feat? I hope the world eventually hears of these stories you teasingly keep from me, I imagine it would inspire generations of young Nords and possibly diminish the unfortunate level of racism Skyrim currently panders to. But tell me, what happened after the Dragon fell?

I followed the Caravan to Dawnstar, where my friend and I celebrated. The next day we parted ways, and I returned to Whiterun to cash in on the Giants bounty.

After such a story I can't even fathom the things you face that would surpass this. Care to let us know what the future holds for Davos Coldhands?

I've heard there has been a Vampire problem brewing and an old order is standing against them. That sounds like an Adventure to suit my lifestyle.

Indeed it does... and I feel safer knowing you've got your eyes on it. I doubt this is the last we hear of Davos Coldhands, not if future historians still care about the pivotal figures of our time. I hope I'm not being presumptuous, but as a Nord I hope you appreciate this: Talos Guide you Davos.

*smiles* And you.
 

SirPlindington

New member
Jun 28, 2012
328
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Ragsnstitches said:
Ahem. Davos Coldhands, eh? Well you know what they say. Hands of gold are always cold, but a woman's hands are warm. Whadayu think? Coldhands? And they're both from Song of Ice and Fire? Geddit? Geddit! Oh, what's that? you do get it, but it's stupid? Well then.
 
Jun 7, 2010
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What do you do in skyrim/what's your job?

Generally, I go around and kill that which most cannot kill. Somehow, money just kind of appears in my pocket. When i'm not kicking ass proffessionally (i killed two mammoths with my bare hands and outran the headless horseman on foot two nights ago, true story), i run three of the four guilds in Skyrim (Dark Brotherhood, College of winterhold, theives guild)

Why do you do it? How?

I believe it's my job to rid this land of Pussy bitches like Alduin. As for the guilds, they just couldn't resist me once they learned of my deeds, i wonder if they were suprised when i surpassed each and every one of them.

What's your position on the war?

The Empire tried to kill me. I killed their Emperor, i'm coming for the rest of them once i'm done punishing the Thalmor.

What do you say about rumours that you're dragonborn/a werewolf/a vampire?

I am the Dragonborn, it is also true that i am a werewolf, i'm not a vampire though, vampires are too dependant on others for my liking, this makes them pussy bitches.

What do you have to say in regards to your infamous massacre of the entire Markarth city guard?

You cross me, you die. No exeptions.

What about your infamous massacre of the entire population of Cidnha Mine?

I thought it was a nice little "fuck you" to the silver-bloods.

I may do one for my other character tomorrow, but it's sleepytime now.

Captcha: Look out!, damn right, John Boss is comin' to getcha!
 

RedDeadFred

Illusions, Michael!
May 13, 2009
4,896
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The interview takes place on the big bridge in Solitude.
Hello Blue. Why don't we start with your occupation. What do you do for a living?
Well good sir, I'm afraid if I told you, I'd have to kill you! *chuckles*
Haha, that's a good one. My readers do like it when my interviews start with a laugh. So really, what is it that you do?
Well you see, I am the Emperor! *puts on Emperor's Robes*
But, the Emperor was killed two weeks ago. You cannot be the Emperor but how is it that you have his robes?!
I think you're probably coming to the correct conclusion on your own right now.
So, what is it that you want with me?
Well it's not really me who wants anything to do with you, it's Sithis.
You intend to kill me in broad daylight in the middle of the capital of Skyrim? Ha you must be mad.
Ah, see that's the beauty of this contract. I don't kill you. Not directly anyway. You have a very unfortunate accident with a dragon.
Oh my Mr. Blue my good sir! You really had me going there. Obviously those robes are custom made! How did I not see it? Haha, an incident with a dragon! That's just far too preposterous to believe! Oh my this was a funny prank indeed! Well I think that answers my initial question. You must be a Bard. Am I right?
Yes of course. Oh excuse me for one moment. A bug just flew into my throat and I am going to start coughing now. Ehem, OD-AH-VIING!. Oh excuse me. That's much better.
I dare say that was the loudest cough I've ever heard. Highly impressive! Anyway, back to the interview. So what can you tell me about... Wait, did you hear that?
Hear what?
I thought I just heard a loud roar. Oh but that's ridiculous... Wait look up in the sky! DRAGON! Do you see it? We must run!
Ah yes. Right on time. I believe he's here for you. What an unfortunate incident for you. I'll be leaving now. Best of luck!
I have fixed the italics.
 

busterkeatonrules

- in Glorious Black & White!
Legacy
Jun 22, 2009
1,280
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Country
Norway
Whiskers? Your parents actually gave you that name?

This one was arrested for pickpocketing before mother could think of a name. What? Mother was heavy on the skooma. Warden had to write SOMETHING in the book.

What do you do in Skyrim?

Why? Who wants to know? What have you heard?

Nothing, nothing! I'm just curious, is all.

Be careful! Do you know what curiosity does to Khajiit? Curiosity got this one stuck in Cidhna Mine for days! Whiskers does small jobs. For small money. It adds up.

Would you care to elaborate?

No.

On a different topic, where do you stand on the war?

Stormcloaks are racist loudmouths. Not much more. Imperials tried to chop this one's head off. This one fights for Stormcloaks. Gets to fight Imperials that way.

Could you tell us a little about these rumors about you being Dragonborn?

This one has been getting that a lot. Maybe it would be a good idea to look into it sometime. Busy now. Must go check on Jarl. Make sure he hasn't left big load of valuables in master-level chest in the guard room again where someone might stumble across it by chance.

Are those my pants you're holding?

This one is certain you wore no pants before. Whiskers sell you these cheap.
As our reporter attempts to find a guard who will take his complaint seriously, we give you our latest weather report.

It's still snowing.
 

lithiumvocals

New member
Jun 16, 2010
355
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*interview takes place next to Gildergreen in Whiterun. It is early afternoon.*

Hello there, Fayle! I'm glad you could make it!

As am I.

Fir... Huh.

Is something wrong?

No, it's just that...

Yes?

Your picture looks different from how you do. Is there a reason for that? New haircut?

No comment.

Alrighty then. So, I've heard a lot about you.

*laughs* Yeah, my reputation sometimes proceeds me.

What have you been doing to gain this notoriety?

You could say that I had to. I've been a loner most of my life, but after a little trouble at the border, I've met so many people. Skyrim is a completely new place for me. I've had to drift from city to city and talk to everyone. Shopkeepers, guards, workers, soldiers. There's many wonderful people here.

That's interesting. Forced to adapt to the situation?

That's my best talent.

What do you do to get by?

Odd jobs, mostly. The people I meet often have tasks that they need done. For fair prices, I take care of them. Whether it involves fighting, talking, harvesting or exploring, I'm usually willing to do it.

Usually?

I never do anything blatantly illegal or that harms the innocent.

That's great. Let me tell you, I've met people that aren't as morally sound as you.

*sigh* Sadly, this Civil War has been an excuse to run wild for some. Pillaging, murdering, theft. It's rough out there.

What a great segue to my next question. The Civil War. Thoughts?

Both sides can fuck right off.

Excuse me?

I'm from Cyrodiil. Born there, raised there, spent most of my life there. Apparently, to some folks, that's an excuse to insult me and to treat me poorly.

So why don't you side with the Empire?

They tried to chop my head off.

Oh. I can see how that might affect your thoughts of them.

No kidding.

What are you doing at the current moment?

I've joined the Dawnguard.

Come again?

I'm a vampire hunter.

Gotcha. How's that treating you?

Pretty well. I've been able to explore some more the land because of it.

Why did you become a hunter?

I heard they had crossbows.

*laughs*

In all seriousness, it's because vampires have been a pain in my ass. They pray on me and innocent travelers and I've contracted the disease more times than I'd like to have.

Uhh...

Don't worry, I'm fine.

Good to hear. Hmm. What next...

Oh! Who's your friend I saw you with?


Her name is Serana. She's become a pretty close companion of mine.

Why does she dress in all black?

To express the darkness in her heart? I don't know.

Why is she wearing a hood outside?

The sun isn't good for her skin.

Is that why she's so pale?

You could say that.

Are her eyes glowing red?

Of course not. Don't be silly.

Odd. Anyway, how long have you known this Serana?

A week or so. We've been traveling nonstop together.

Are you two...

No.

Do you want to?

It's complicated.

Care to elaborate?

No.

But...

*death glare*

Ok then.

Anymore questions?

Just one. How'd you get that scar on your arm?

Altercation with an Orc outside of Riften. He called me milk drinker.

Does that offend you?

A little.

Thanks for your time, Fayle. Keep in touch?

No promises, but I'll sure as hell will try.
 

kommando367

New member
Oct 9, 2008
1,956
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What do you do in skyrim/what's your job?
Freelance Mercenary

Why do you do it?
Loot 'n monies

How?
With my Magic/Mace/Warhammer/Bow

What's your position on the war?
It's boring.

What do you say about rumours that you're dragonborn/a werewolf/a vampire?
I'm quite certain that my status as a Dragonborn is not a rumor, but a well known fact.
Now if you will excuse me, I have to go run an errand someone asked me to do 2 years ago.


ALT version
Interviewer: Mr. Dragonborn, thanks for coming to your interview

Dragonborn: I'm the Boss

Interviewer: okay, So take us through a day in the life of a boss

Dragonborn: Well the first thing I do is...

Talk to the Jarl
LIKE A BOSS

Kill a dragon
LIKE A BOSS

Take it's soul
LIKE A BOSS

Join the Companions
LIKE A BOSS

Kill some bandita
LIKE A BOSS

Sell the loot
LIKE A BOSS

Shit on Delphine's desk
LIKE A BOSS

Learn Dragonrend
LIKE A BOSS

Defeat Alduin
LIKE A BOSS

Meet a Frostbite Spider
LIKE A BOSS

Fuck it's brains out
LIKE A BOSS

Kill the Emperor
LIKE A BOSS

Score some Moon Sugar
LIKE A BOSS

Become a Vampire Lord
LIKE A BOSS

Blot out the sun
LIKE A BOSS

Run into a fanblade trap
LIKE A BOSS

Now I'm dead
LIKE A BOSS

Interviewer :so that's an average day for you then?

Dragonborn: No doubt

Interviewer: You run into a fanblade trap and die?

Dragonborn: Hell yeah

Interviewer: Well, this has been eye opening for me.

Dragonborn: I'm the BOSS

Interviewer: yeah I got that...

Odahviing: LIKE A BOSS

I had to do that I couldn't stop myself
 

SoranMBane

New member
May 24, 2009
1,178
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Dar'Shiek, the Khajiit assassin:

So, what do you around Skyrim?
Well, mostly I'm an assassin, thief, and part-time mercenary. Killing and stealing have always been what I was best at, so those were natural career choices for me.

Then I'm assuming the rumors about your involvement with the Dark Brotherhood and Thieves Guild are true?
Well, yeah. How else am I supposed to get jobs, if not by being a member of a well-respected criminal organization? Sending out flyers would probably just get me in trouble.

Why did you decide to join the Stormcloaks during the civil war?
Two reasons. One, I was still slightly upset over the Imperials trying to chop my head off at Helgen, and two, the Thalmor. I actually would have really preferred to stay hands-off in the war, just sitting back and watching the carnage, but I'm also not stupid. I knew that if neither side won, the Thalmor would probably succeed in whatever they're planning, and I hate those guys. I figured since the Stormcloaks aren't exactly the greatest at the whole country-running business, they'd be the best compromise between continued disorder in Skyrim and gumming up the Thalmor's plans. That's all joining the Stormcloaks was to me; a compromise. Sithis knows I can hardly stand the their constant harping-on about Talos.

Speaking of which, what exactly are your religious affiliations?
Well, as a member of the Brotherhood, I worship Sithis, obviously. I also worship the Daedra. All of them, but particularly Molag Bal, Hircine, Sheogorath, Namira, and Nocturnal. See, I'm actually a very pious person. Most of the so-called "atrocities" I commit, I do merely to spread the chaos, destruction, and deceit my Daedric lords love so much. Well, also for fun, but mostly piety.

Some people would call the things you do "evil." What would you say to that?
I'd say those people are idiots. The words "good" and "evil" don't even apply to immortal beings such as the Daedra, and neither should they apply to mortals working under their auspices.

Alright, what are your preferred weapons?
Daggers are pretty fun. There's nothing more satisfying than sneaking up behind someone and leaving them writhing on the ground with a second smile before they even know you're there. I also use a bow for long distance murder or dual wield an axe and mace when stealth isn't an option, but those aren't as much fun.

Aren't you also a werewolf?
Nope. I used to be, but not anymore. I'm a vampire now. I can still technically change into the beastform, but that's just a side effect of my cheating the system by wearing the Ring of Hircine when I cured myself, not actual lycanthropy.

Ah, how's the vampirism working out for you then?
Alright, I suppose. The worst part about it is that I had to give up my nice dark fur, but I'm sure I'll get used to it. Otherwise, the blood is delicious. Well, more delicious than it used to be.

What do you think about your being the "Dragonborn?" Do you have a favourite Shout?
It's great. I don't even mind that the powers come from a Divine; I'll take anything that makes it easier to kill, especially something that amounts to literally yelling at someone so hard that they die. My favourite would have to be the one called "Marked For Death." It just fits me, ya know?

And before we leave off, do you have any advice for aspiring murderers?
Yeah; don't underestimate the importance of a good poison, and work on your skills as a pickpocket. I know I said before that slitting throats is the most satisfying way to kill a person, and I stick by that, but the reactions people have to someone just dropping dead from a covert poisoning are absolutely priceless. From a purely practical standpoint, it's also a better way of murdering someone publicly than just straight-up stabbing them in the middle of a busy street. Most societies tend to frown on that sort of behavior.

And I'd do my Khajiit ranger and my high elf mage as well, but they're not nearly as entertaining as Dar'Shiek, so I'm gonna leave off there.
 

Retal19

New member
Dec 5, 2010
183
0
0
What do you do here in Solitude?
I'm a Smith, and one of the Jarl's Aides. I make armour for the Imperial Troops, for the Jarl's Soldiers, and anyone with the coin. Otherwise I help the Jarl and her Thanes with whatever they need.

So why does an outsider from...
Morrowind

Morrowind, of course, work for the Jarl of Solitude?
Well, I support the Imperial cause, but I don't want to get personally wrapped up in the War. Plus, Solitude is my home, I want to protect it however I can.

Randall, are you aware that there are Rumours that you are a Werewolf?
I am.

What do you have to say to them?
Completely untrue. These claims must be from passing Adventurers who have heard howling and have found fur on me. Everyone in Solitude knows that I own a tame Wolf pup.

Of course, so what's your position on the war?
While I am sympathetic towards the Stormcloaks, I do not support them. I know they are unhappy with the outlawing of Talos worship, but I think the Empire will do right soon, but they need our support to do that.
Thank you for your time, I'll leave you to your work.

Excuse me, could you answer a few questions?
Who are you? How did you get into the College?

We won't be long. Now, tell me, what do you do here in Winterhold?
I... I'm an Apprentice Mage... I... I'm training in Alteration Magic...

Good, good, now, what are your thoughts on the Civil War?
I'd rather not get involved in that... the Stormcloaks don't have the best treatment of Elves... but the Empire doesn't have the authority to decide who people can worship...

So you don't take a Side?
I'm no Soldier... and whichever side I take there will be something wrong in the end... I'd rather just stay here in Winterhold, far away from the War.

What do you say to the rumors that you are a Vampire?
What? I... I'm not, is this J'Zargo's doing?

What about the rumours that the Vigilants of Stendarr are hunting you for consorting with Daedra?
Th-that's not my fault! I was trying to help them, but then the Daedra tried to kill us, and trapped us in the house, he was going to kill me! And that time with Hircine, I didn't know what I was getting into, I thought I was just helping a man be cured of his condition... how was I to know Hircine would name me as a Hunter? Please, just go before I call one of the Staff.

So what do you do around here ma'am?
I hunt animals for a living.

And what's your position on the War?
That is none of your business.

Then what do you think about the rumours the Dragonborn has returned?
Stuff and nonsense.

What about the rumours that Dragons have returned?
I will believe you when I see one with my own eyes.

Then what about the rumours that you and Aela of Whiterun share the blood of Beasts?
Aela is a good friend, but we are nothing alike. Consider that a warning.

The Vigilants of Stendarr tell me you consort with Daedra, is that true?
If you can call it that, maybe. Do you consort with the Aedra?

What is an Imperial doing wandering Skyrim in these times?
Skyrim is home to more than Nords you close-minded fool.

Then what do you think about the Thalmor?
If you start running now, I won't follow.

So, what do you do around here sir?
...

Sir?
...

He's just staring at me... I think he's brain dead or- Where did he go? Did someone see him? I... I didn't hear him move.
Mother calls!

Talos save us! What is he doing with that knife?!
 

Doclector

New member
Aug 22, 2009
5,010
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0
I particular liked the ones about nords so far. People seem to have a tendency of making them into norse-style saxton hales, it seems. The khajiit ones are pretty good, but reading anything khajiit-style is instantly funny.

I'm going to try and do my last character now (for now, I'm considering starting a new nord playthrough now, thanks) but I haven't really figured out his personality much.

What do you do in skyrim?

Study magic, and try not to die.

Is that difficult?

The first one's challenging, yes, the second one is a constant struggle around here. Bandits, trolls, warring soldiers, dragons, and my personal favourite, arachnids of unusual size. *shudders*

Are you pointing a calm spell at yourself?

Yes. *relaxes* It's unconventional, and it was bloody hard to do at first, but it's a lot more effective than the local alternatives of mead and skooma.

You've tried that then?

...no comment.

How do you study magic, then?

I'd love to say it's a case of just reading up on a few things, but it tends to involve quite a bit of practical work. I can hold my own...most times. If not, I summon an atronarch, and run. I do a lot of my work with the mages college. It's a great establishment and all, but...I do wish they were a little more careful. I ended up seeing in green for a day a while back! Don't get me started on this giant orb thing we found. It's causing no end of trouble. I wouldn't be surprised if I found out they had a three headed dog guarding a powerful artefact, or a load of giant spiders hidden away somewhere...

What's your position on the war?

Retreat.

What do you say to rumours about you being dragonborn?

Not much. As fascinating as such legends are, I'd prefer not to go toe-to-toe with too many flying, fire breathing lizards.
 

SB Ripping

New member
May 25, 2012
50
0
0
What do you do in skyrim/what's your job?
To crush my enemies, see them driven before me, and to hear the lamentation of their women.

Why do you do it? How?
I do this to live up to the great name of my ancestor Shaxis the Great and match the great feats he performed during the Oblivion crisis. I pride my self in being not only the greatest Dunmer Spellsword in all the land but the greatest hero to ever walk among mortals.
 

saintdane05

New member
Aug 2, 2011
1,849
0
0
Does it have to be Skyrim?

<spoiler=Sarha the Kajit>

What is your job

I'm an adventurerer. I adventure and do stuff. Now leave me alone.[/I]

What do you do it with

Whatever I want. Now go away.

What's your position on the war?

Joined with the Imp's when I first got here. Now, for the last time go away!

What do you say about rumours that you're dragonborn?

Listen, you whoreson [lifts up interviewer]. I have told you enough times that you should go away. You didn't listen, like the idiot you are. Perhaps its time to... persuade you to leave me alone in a different manner.

[drags him into back room.]

2 hours later.

[interviewer runs out of room towards Whiterun. By the time the gaurds come, the house has been ransacked and nobody is in.]
 

Aerosteam

Get out while you still can
Sep 22, 2011
4,267
0
0
In the order of when I made these characters:

Makros Vilidnus (Deceased), Pure Mage

What do you do in Skyrim/what's your job?
Being dead.

Why do you do it? How?
Because I am.

What's your position on the war?
Stormcloaks. But the war never finished, obviously

What do you say about rumours that you're dragonborn/a werewolf/a vampire?
Nothing.
Recon, Stealth Archer

What do you do in Skyrim/what's your job?
Being in stealth mode all the time.

Why do you do it? How?
I don't wan't to be seen.

What's your position on the war?
The Empire can kiss my rump.

What do you say about rumours that you're dragonborn/a werewolf/a vampire?
They're all LIES!
Katherine, Tank Warrior

What do you do in Skyrim/what's your job?
I like beheading people.

Why do you do it? How?
It makes me feel grateful that I have a head.

What's your position on the war?
I kiss The Empire's rump

What do you say about rumours that you're dragonborn/a werewolf/a vampire?
True, true, false.
Artemis, Pure Mage

What do you do in Skyrim/what's your job?
Unleashing the power that is infinite magicka and master destruction spells.

Why do you do it? How?
Exploits are fun.

What's your position on the war?
I'll start with the Stormcloaks then betray them.

What do you say about rumours that you're dragonborn/a werewolf/a vampire?
I haven't started the Companions or Dawngaurd questline yet.

Damn, I suck at interviews.