Is it fair to make a guy jealous to keep him interested?

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MorsePacific

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Nov 5, 2008
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I can see why she's an ex-girlfriend. That's by far one of the bitchiest moves I've ever heard of someone pulling.

She's not even remotely justified to try that on anyone and you were completely justified in telling her to get lost. I hope her new boyfriend dumps her.
 

Smooth Operator

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Oct 5, 2010
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Ya I've been there before and it's just plain stupid.
If your partner is loosing interest then clearly the relationship isn't working out, and if you rather make him/her jealous then actually put some effort into the relationship you obviously haven't got any regard for your partner, so move the fuck on.
 

Vern5

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Mar 3, 2011
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Beautiful End said:
And then things were lame.
Best story ending EVER.

OT: I don't know where this mentality comes from but I've seen it (and unwittingly been a part of it) before.

I guess it stems from the idea that Girl A can incite Boy B into more protective action of her by making him jealous. In theory, that makes very little sense but just enough sense that it might seem like a good idea at the time. Of course, any man who sees that his girl is practically throwing herself around would easily come to the conclusion that she is a slut not worth wasting time upon. This may or may not be the actual truth of the matter, but what we see is always more powerful than what actually is.
 

ShindoL Shill

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Jul 11, 2011
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no. if i was dating someone who flirted with other guys around me to make me jealous i would leave
EdwardOrchard said:
I think its totally legit to do that.

People want what they cant have, right? Basic psychology 101. If making the guy a little jealous makes him want you more, then ya, by all means, do it. It might be a bit cruel, but its effective. Don't hate the player, hate the game, right?

The only thing that wasn't fair was if she was leading you on. She should've just told you straight up what she was actually doing.
no thats not how it works. when youre in a relationship you already 'have' the other person, so your brain wont think 'i need to work harder to 'get' her' it will think 'i dont have her but i just did, therefore i have lost her' and you cant win someone back when you havent actually lost them. maybe if they werent already dating, but that's still wrong.
if someone is jealous, they may end up mistrusting you
 

thenumberthirteen

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Dec 19, 2007
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Not really, but all's fair in love and war. Considering one of my first girlfriends would flirt, kiss, and sleep with almost anyone she could while we were dating if she was my girlfriend then I wouldn't bat an eye.
 

Eclectic Dreck

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Sep 3, 2008
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It isn't fair but that doesn't mean it is unacceptable or even unexpected. Relationships are built on manipulation and while the behavior described is a bit unsporting and a option that can lead to very dangerous consequences very quickly, it still seems fine as far as I'm concerned.
 

IamQ

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Mar 29, 2009
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It's not going to work in the end, and it's just disrespectful towards her boyfriend.
 

FenrinJRaten

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Jul 27, 2011
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Honestly, I don't think girls or guys for that matter should do it but it is one of tactics people use these days to get into a relationship, nowadays. I'm saying this as a mere observer who has never been in a relationship (and not planning to) but has seen friends do so, in high school.

I can understand the action to some extent, since for person X it is a good way to gauge potential partner Y's, interest in X. But since cheating, infidelity and etcetera and etcetera are so commonplace now, and everyone is psychoanalysing every potential partner and their actions for those signs, the action is counter productive since it has the consequence of showing potential partner Y that person X isn't genuinely interested in Y since they are flirting with others, even though they have an interest in them.

But the fact that girls I used to know in high school would say this as a good tactic to gauge interest in potential partners, that means that it has worked for some. Some probably being a niche minority, whether they be in high school or grown-up. For me though I don't see the action of making potential partner 'jealous' such a good idea since the consequences of said action in today's society are rather heavy. Just shows that person has insecurity issues, rather shallow, suspicious and what not.

So really I just say this to the people I have given advice for and future ones, do what you want do but think about possible pros and cons of said actions.
 

SeniorDingDong

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Jan 8, 2008
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A girl once tried to do something similar with me. It worked, but backfired. I went "well, I can do that aswell".
 

Esotera

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May 5, 2011
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Not really. But seemingly it's part of human nature, or at least the frequency with which it happens makes it look that way. Fortunately jealously issues can be defeated quite easily with operant conditioning: if a person tries to make you jealous, ignore them. It's amazing how well it works.
 

Fugitive Panda

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Jan 21, 2011
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I'd say it's alright in the flirting phase, since casually it amounts to harmless fun and teasing, but when you actually start going out it's really context sensitive, usually something that causes more problems than anything. And if you're honestly trying to manipulate people with it, you deserve for it to backfire.

That said, I'm one of those rare people who enjoys a little jealous tension now I then. Both giving and receiving.
 

kebab4you

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Jan 3, 2010
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Sober Thal said:
People get this wound up over flirting now a days?
Why would anyone need to flirt if they are already seeing someone?

Never had a girlfriend that have done this but yeah I would most likely dump her on the spot if she did.
 

Shadow-Phoenix

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Mar 22, 2010
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EdwardOrchard said:
I think its totally legit to do that.

People want what they cant have, right? Basic psychology 101. If making the guy a little jealous makes him want you more, then ya, by all means, do it. It might be a bit cruel, but its effective. Don't hate the player, hate the game, right?

The only thing that wasn't fair was if she was leading you on. She should've just told you straight up what she was actually doing.
You say it's cruel but effective but in reality you're lying to yourself and not being true to both you or your partner going by that logic.
 

ComicsAreWeird

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Oct 14, 2010
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Nope. That´s pretty childish. If a girl ever tried that with me, i´d probably dump her ass.
How´s that for keeping boyfriends interested, eh? XD