Is it that hard to find a virgin?

[chadachada123]

I've always wanted to have sex with a virgin, but I lost it to a non-virgin and have only had sex with non-virgins since (5 girls).

I'm fine with sex with non-virgins, though, and dating is a complete crapshoot. Whether someone is a virgin or not has no bearing on their compatibility. Same with drinking or light drug use.

Although, OP, your original post implies that "had drank before" is equivalent with "drinks," when that is certainly not the case. I've smoked weed "before" but I don't smoke pot, nor was I ever a "pot-smoker." Make sure not to confuse these, just for clarity's sake.

Just how prude are you, OP? Would you refuse to date someone just because they have drank before?

And, out of curiosity, why the *need* to date a virgin? It's clear that you've no understanding of love if you'd let something like that get in the way, and must be only in it for the sex or pleasure yourself, leading to an interesting contradiction.

*Edit* And, to clarify, it's not that I want to date a virgin for perverse reasons, it's more out of curiosity and also as a "I want to experience everything at least once, so I know I've lived life in as broad a way as possible, taking in as much as possible."

 

[ChildofGallifrey]

Not that hard. My first "real" girlfriend was a virgin (always less pressure when it's both of your first times). I've still never smoked anything or done drugs. I drink a fair bit though, though not with the intention of getting wasted (that's only fun with friends and video games).

OP, just know that you likely will change your views as you age and mature. I used to think just like you (like, exactly), and I changed my views just after college. Some people, I imagine, just stop giving a damn. In my situation, I fell in love with a girl, so I didn't care much whether she was a virgin or not, and since I wasn't anymore I didn't have the right to judge.

All that being said, I respect the hell out of your stance on the matter.

Spoiler: Brofist

 

[Noctangelus]

Seem's like a relevant question... so I will ask

What is the basis for your criteria?

to put it another way, why are you looking for a person like that?

(note I'm not saying you shouldn't I'm just interested)

 

[Freaky Lou]

Thats alot of rules you just decided on when it comes to picking a partner. The way the world works, you will meet a virgin and have a happy life together, Then when you turn 40 and your rocking your third kid on your knee, your going to look back on all the fun you missed out on. This is a gift from above, have safe sex and enjoy yourself.

That's a load of crap. I've never heard of anyone ever who regretted not being more promiscuous when they were younger, not counting mid-life crises...but that's more a case of fearing that you've made all the wrong decisions in life.

REALLY, though, people look back on their wild younger years mostly in regret.

Think regret is the only interesting thing about you people. Think I give a crap about your happy stories, boring. Thats what makes us fun and unique, without your sins your just another boring sap around the water cooler.

Yeah, but everyone already has enough regrets without adding more to the pile. This is bad advice.

And weren't you saying that he'd regret NOT being more promiscuous later in life? Now you're claiming that regrets are a good thing?

 

[Thaluikhain]

So I have this thing about dating where I won't date anyone who has had sex with another man or who smokes and/or does drugs. Call me old school or call me weird, but it is just part of my moral system.

Is it part of your moral system that after you've had sex once, nobody else except that one person should date you?

If not, this rather smacks of hypocracy.

If so, this is likely to cause problems.

 

[coblen]

It's not finding a virgin thats hard, its finding a virgin willing to give you a lock of hair and vial of blood.

date em for a year seeming like a normal person.

I'd be willing to bet by that point you could convince them into all sorts of things. The least of which being a small donation of hair or blood.

My first anniversary with my gf is coming up. Might have to put this to practice.

 

[Risingblade]

It's not something people like to brag about...so yes you can find some though they might not mention it.

 

[weker]

Their more rare then a man, I am fairly sure, and most of them will be abstinent.
I don't understand why you would have this in your morals, and it give me personally the "she has been corrupted" bullshit, which if it wasn't evident I don't agree with.

If you include not trying any drugs such as smoking or drinking, your kinda pushing you luck on ever picking anyone up.

 

[chadachada123]

Not that hard. My first "real" girlfriend was a virgin (always less pressure when it's both of your first times). I've still never smoked anything or done drugs. I drink a fair bit though, though not with the intention of getting wasted (that's only fun with friends and video games).

OP, just know that you likely will change your views as you age and mature. I used to think just like you (like, exactly), and I changed my views just after college. Some people, I imagine, just stop giving a damn. In my situation, I fell in love with a girl, so I didn't care much whether she was a virgin or not, and since I wasn't anymore I didn't have the right to judge.

You know, in hindsight, I had similar feelings myself in high school. I didn't drink until after graduation, didn't smoke pot for the first time for another year, and another year later, just this summer, had my first foray into a hallucinogen (shrooms). In high school, I refused to date girls that drank or did anything else, and tried to date virgins where possible.

I'm 20 now, and boy have I changed a lot in just two years, let alone throughout high school. I used to think that dating a girl two grades different was not just strange but abhorrent, but now I realize that age is mostly irrelevant so long as love (or at least, understanding that it's not love but just sex, whichever the case may be) is there.

 

[Nickompoop]

Sup. You're looking at a college student who hasn't done any of those things.

Though, the lack of beer drinking is because I can't digest it (celiac) and I have never even had the opportunities to either get high or get laid.

 

[FortheLegion]

Well I'm 18 now and while I haven't had sex yet, I have gotten drunk(it was legal where I was at the time) and I have gotten high off cough syrup on multiple occasions...
I will probably never smoke..

 

[Commissar Sae]

Well my girlfriend and I were both virgins when we started dating. We both drink a bit on occasion but hardly heavily and pretty much just for the taste (though she is a lightweight). She also smoked a bit before we started dating but hasn't in the year we've been together. Honestly you're looking for a "pure maiden" kind of stereotype that you probably won't ever find.

Honestly sticking to those as your main basis for finding a girl is more creepy than anything else. Find someone you can love, what does it matter if she had a drink when she was 16 or tried smoking. I get not wanting an alchoholic, chain smoking slut but there is a middle ground you know.

 

[Vankraken]

I didn't do any of those things because I am a gamer. The whole drug/drinking thing to me is pointless because im doing fine without expensive, harmful, and illegal acts so why bother starting? The sex thing wasn't so much by choice but I didn't find a girl I could relate to until college. Then again I'm not the type of person to play the whole dating game to buy / bullshit my way into someones pants. Its been a good 8 years since I was in high school and I wouldn't have done much differently.

Protip: High School kids think they are living the most important time of there life until they hit college/work force and realize that all there petty problems are bullshit and hollow. (not being cynical, just honest)

Edit: Who cares if somebody is a virgin as long as they aren't a slut. Someone who isn't a virgin because they were in a 1+ year relationship is different than somebody who has sex after 3 dates or after getting some jewelry. The quality of a person's character is far more important than if they are a virgin or not. (avoid labeling people it only causes problems. Yes i labeled myself as a gamer in the beginning of this but i can label myself whatever the fuck i want cause its me )

 

[Tortilla the Hun]

Just so I can claim to make an actual contribution to this conversation, I see where you're coming from. I mean I respect and appreciate clean women, I'm just not entirely unreasonable with those views. Everybody has their own way of living, and I accept that as a given. I do make it a point, however, not to date women that abuse drugs, not at all. It isn't attractive and I don't like spending my time with people when they aren't themselves.

 

[Xeraxis]

Don't give up hope, your ideal girl is out there somewhere. I had given up hope finding the girl of my dreams, and sure enough she appeared in my life after all. Whatever your standards may be, you will find her, given time and patience.

Not to be demeaning towards you, but do you know how many times I've heard that, or something similar, from people? It annoys me how often people pull out that cliche phrasing.

So I have this thing about dating where I won't date anyone who has had sex with another man or who smokes and/or does drugs. Call me old school or call me weird, but it is just part of my moral system. And today, during my sociology class, we got on the topic of sex and dating. I told the class my stand on such and they all chuckled. When I ask what was funny, someone told me that the chance of finding a girl like that now-a-days is almost impossible and that I should just give up on it. And it hit me, every person in my class, which ranged from 9th grade to 12th grade, that everyone had drank beer illegally, smoked pot and chewed, or has had sex multiple times... except me. I could not believe it and even my teacher was not shocked in the least to hear that. He was actually agreeing with it. So basically, what I am as is, are there people who didn't illegally drink, smoke or who hadn't had sex during their high school years?

Edit: Since some one asked, I am from the west coast of the U.S. in Washington.

As for your question OP, no it isn't. I am one of those people you pointed out. Never did pot, never illegally drank, never had sex. Never even had first kiss or girlfriend.

It seems you are one of the few "innocent" ones that are in high school. I hated everything about those years then, because almost everyone was either an idiot or exposed in so many ways. Felt like I was the only one who had any sense of decent morality.

You're bound to find some people that haven't done such things. Just depends on where you're looking. Usually those people are introverted or more socially withdrawn.

 

[spartan231490]

Sorta. Virgins beyond high school are a rarity, but there are some of them. I mean, a study found that the average man has 11 sexual partners before they marry, and the average woman has 7. And drinking pre-21 is almost mandatory, so I don't think you're going to find what your looking for, but good luck.

Also, why is drinking or smoking legal drugs at an illegal age immoral? Just curious.

 

[MegaManOfNumbers]

My body is pure and undamaged by such profanities as pointless copulation and mind wavering corruption that is drugs or smokes or that disgusting monstrosities that are chews. I am 17 and I do not count the years I am a virgin, but count the years until I found she that is normal and smart, and realizing, and thoughtful.

And yes, I've been reading too much Shakespeare. Doesn't help that I'm fresh from reading some of Frank Miller's Batman graphic novels. Hey, I'm feeling poetic right now.