Is it that hard to find a virgin?

[SpectralAnomaly]

What about if they had sex with another woman? Hmmm? Anyway, I digress. I drank when it was legal, but i'm a lightweight, so I never needed much. I've never smoked cigarettes, but I went to Amsterdam for a week. Nuff said. I've also never had sex. Had a girlfriend for a few months a while back but that didn't work out. It feels like everyone else I know has had sex, and i'm certainly one of the few at work who hasn't, and I get really embarressed about it. To be honest, it doesn't do much for your self esteem.

 

[SmilingKitsune]

Why would you care if someone is a virgin or not? If you genuinely care about someone it shouldn't matter.

 

[violinist1129]

I'm pretty sure we could win NaNoWriMo with this thread :0

OP: Since you're a high schooler, I think that you have fairly acceptable standards, but at some point, it will get exponentially harder to find people who conform to such strict ideals. Unless you will only date strictly religious people or the socially awkward, college will wipe out most of your options.

 

[Talon88.1]

I hate drinking, the drinks always taste like Im drinking metal *Bleh*, and I dont touch drugs of any kind. Ive also never had sex, or even been on a date. Mostly because the people I went to school with were some of the worst people I ever met.
Once I got into college, dating was just put on the back burner and has stayed there since. |
*Shrugs* Dating, sex, love, etc etc, are the most complex and annoying situations in the world. I just do my best to stay out of it and focus on my career.
Dont think that dating and sex are all there is in life, because its not, not by a long shot. Have fun how you want, and tell anyone who thinks its not fun to kiss your ass.
Good luck!

 

[Veldt Falsetto]

.

.

It's fine to say you dont value sex, or otherwise dont want sex as much as that person over there. Where most people get hung up, including yourself, is when you start making moral/character based judgments on people that do have sex. Especially when you have no arbitrary religeous reason to.

What about people that think playing video games damages your character? You can defend yourself all you want. They just think you are "in denial" or refusing to admit other people's problems are caused by video games.

Who am I to judge you for wanting to play video games. For indulging that desire? Chances are you are going to bring up the risk of sex. Just because you dont know how to effectively mitigate that risk, doesnt make it a death sentence for the rest of us.

Huh...why was I quoted? I was just stating my own experiences, I wasn't trying to push it on anyone else. It wasn't sex that harmed me, it was my own inability to deal with the lack of emotion I had for this girl who took my virginity, even if though she was my first girlfriend, we even had sex before most other things, the only thing we did first was kiss and then she broke up with me in a week. I was just saying that's obviously affected my entire love life, which it probably should, but the reason I don't have sex or relationships now is because I'm dedicated to someone who doesn't want me back.

Yeah I have problems but it's all my own fault.

I suppose I should end this with, have sex when you're ready but just because someone else has had sex or has done other things doesn't mean they aren't a great person.

I hated smoking, always have, always will...hey I was watching Scrubs just now and Dr. Cox says "There's no such thing as a perfect person"

So, she smokes and I deal with it.

If you find someone you like who likes you back, then to hell with their imperfections, that's what makes them them.

 

[Fearzone]

Married women are better than virgins. You have your business with them and then they go back to their husbands.

 

[NastyLeviathan]

I started drinking in Middle School. I smoked weed in High School and got into pills. I lost my virginity to a coke doing drug dealing girl.

I regret nothing.

I think that people just need to chill out and take things a bit slower. If you want to put yourself above others with standards that's chill. I'll just be having fun over here.

(I am not implying you lot cannot have fun, I just have fun my way.)

 

[blueshark217]

My girlfriends ultra clean of EVERYTHING. When I first met her in the 7th grade, she was on her way to becoming another one of "those" girls who parties hard and drinks and gets a new dick in her every other week. But then her mom died of breast cancer, and since then (we're high school seniors now) shes as stone edged as can possibly be. Emo, but stone edged.

 

[AdmiralMemo]

Conversely, does it make sense to attack and remonstrate someone for enjoying an enjoyable activity, the likes of which are necessary for the survival of the species?

It's not the virgins I'm against... it's the virgins who are assholes. The ones that make statements like 'You're getting someone's sloppy seconds' and 'she's used goods' and all that tripe. They're not forming an opinion based on someone else's experiences... they're projecting hate on someone else HAS experiences.

Notice the commonality of language, the insinuation that half of our population are some sort of pariah because they dared engage in a sexual act. The insistance that the vagina is somehow a 'use once, then discard' item. Does that mean that every baby that is not born through c-section is dirty because his face passed against where a dick was once? REDICULOUS.

It isn't 'understanding something through others' experience.' It's 'finding an excuse to hate on someone different because their experiences are not one's own.' It's woman-hating bullshit, and it's due to complete ignorance.

It's bigotry, in short.

True enough. I understand what you were saying now. I hate the misogyny, too.

However, here's a question for you. What would you think if someone's a believer of 'use once, then discard' not just for women, but also for men? That would be fair, being neither misogynistic nor misandristic. I understand it's totally different than your own beliefs, but would you rally against that belief, or would you respect it, despite disagreeing with it?

I totally understand. Sex is just... physical, and I'm not too attracted to either gender. I'm not old fashioned or anything- people can have sex if they want and it's fine. But a relationship at my age, and with someone my age just sounds pointless. I don't expect anything from a teenage boy, and the media makes romance seem so vital. I guess it's great and wonderful, but if you never marry it's painted as some kind of failure, like life is incomplete without a relationship. Not true. Plus relationships just feel like a lot of hassle- I don't want someone constantly wanting my attention, for me to be a certain way, or just wanting things from me. I don't have commitment issues, I just don't want someone depending on me or expecting things from me when I have my own life. I guess it'd be nice to have a guy as independent as I am, but I'm not seeking romance out. Does that make any sense?

I know guys like that I'm a virgin because it makes it less intimidating when I'm inexperienced, but I've stayed a virgin this long because I just don't want sex, not because I'm scared or awkward or worried about being "pure." Wow, I just realized what a massive ***** I sound like. I need a nap.

Interesting. We sound highly compatible, except for age and distance. I hope I can find someone like you in my area and age range.

 

[StarsintheBlood]

Interesting. We sound highly compatible, except for age and distance. I hope I can find someone like you in my area and age range.

Thanks and likewise. People with this approach to relationships are especially hard to come by in high school. XP

 

[General BrEeZy]

I messed up this post, disregard it.

 

[General BrEeZy]

So I have this thing about dating where I won't date anyone who has had sex with another man or who smokes and/or does drugs. Call me old school or call me weird, but it is just part of my moral system. And today, during my sociology class, we got on the topic of sex and dating. I told the class my stand on such and they all chuckled. When I ask what was funny, someone told me that the chance of finding a girl like that now-a-days is almost impossible and that I should just give up on it. And it hit me, every person in my class, which ranged from 9th grade to 12th grade, that everyone had drank beer illegally, smoked pot and chewed, or has had sex multiple times... except me. I could not believe it and even my teacher was not shocked in the least to hear that. He was actually agreeing with it. So basically, what I am as is, are there people who didn't illegally drink, smoke or who hadn't had sex during their high school years?

Edit: Since some one asked, I am from the west coast of the U.S. in Washington.

Edit II: As Azure-Supernova stated:

You're not after a virgin you're after someone responsible and faithful. You could meet a virgin and full well have glorious sex, only for her to turn around and cheat or not be a virgin at all. Surely virginity would fall behind the two afforementioned traits?

I suppose he's definition is a little more what I am looking for. I guess I could drop the virginity issue down a little if I could find faithful and responsible girl. I am still standing strong on not doing illegal drugs and drinking but I could give more leeway on virginity.

I have an essentially similar code. almost exactly in fact.
I can't say I'm taking my own advice here, but though its hard and it'll take awhile to find the right person, hang in there. your Faith wont go to waste. I just hope I can, you know, hang in there...

 

[SeeIn2D]

Well being 17 my girlfriend was a virgin when we first started dating as was I. Now neither of us is. This is probably not good data since we're 17 and this is around the time most people start having sex so it isn't all that hard to find virgins. The drug thing though is basically a grab bag unless you're in like middle school. My girlfriend and I never touch drugs or alcohol but I know that it's not like that for everyone. I guess I got lucky that I managed to find a girlfriend who is basically exactly like me.

 

[Veldt Falsetto]

.

.

It's fine to say you dont value sex, or otherwise dont want sex as much as that person over there. Where most people get hung up, including yourself, is when you start making moral/character based judgments on people that do have sex. Especially when you have no arbitrary religeous reason to.

What about people that think playing video games damages your character? You can defend yourself all you want. They just think you are "in denial" or refusing to admit other people's problems are caused by video games.

Who am I to judge you for wanting to play video games. For indulging that desire? Chances are you are going to bring up the risk of sex. Just because you dont know how to effectively mitigate that risk, doesnt make it a death sentence for the rest of us.

Huh...why was I quoted? I was just stating my own experiences, I wasn't trying to push it on anyone else. It wasn't sex that harmed me, it was my own inability to deal with the lack of emotion I had for this girl who took my virginity, even if though she was my first girlfriend, we even had sex before most other things, the only thing we did first was kiss and then she broke up with me in a week. I was just saying that's obviously affected my entire love life, which it probably should, but the reason I don't have sex or relationships now is because I'm dedicated to someone who doesn't want me back.

Yeah I have problems but it's all my own fault.

I suppose I should end this with, have sex when you're ready but just because someone else has had sex or has done other things doesn't mean they aren't a great person.

I hated smoking, always have, always will...hey I was watching Scrubs just now and Dr. Cox says "There's no such thing as a perfect person"

So, she smokes and I deal with it.

If you find someone you like who likes you back, then to hell with their imperfections, that's what makes them them.

I was responding to a simular theme in both posts, what you had to say after that, I can agree with. You seem to have your head wrapped around the concept better than some. >.>

Your experience doesnt HAVE to affect the rest of your life. I know it hurt you, I have been hurt before myself. You are free to deal with it the way you want and in the timeline you deam fit. Some caring person also has the freedom tell you that you are doing an abyssimally bad job at dealing with it and you have the freedom to tell them "go f*ck yourself". I AM NOT SAYING YOU ARE.

But, the freedom is still there.

That's fair enough, I know it doesn't have to but I don't deal with things too well regardless.

I've taken to punishing myself for letting my relationships start with sex and end with "I don't think I like this person that much" due to my lack of "proper" relationship experience.

I punish myself by making myself unlikable so I can't hurt people the way I've been hurt and the way I've hurt people before.

It's a stupid and brainless thing to do but, now I can't get out of it even though I really want to because my body has simply "gotten used to it".

Ah well is all I can say about these things.

 

[I Max95]

So basically, what I am as is, are there people who didn't illegally drink, smoke or who hadn't had sex during their high school years?

give me till 2013

odds are despite my best efforts i will still be a virgin at graduation
but i KNOW i wont be doing any alchohol between now and then, and i also know i wont do drugs at any point in my life

 

[Beautiful End]

Well, I suppose it depends on the age. I'm sure a 50 year old would have a hard time meeting someone like that over, let's say, a teenager.

Sure, most girls nowadays are too liberal for my taste; they all sleep with whichever guy crosses their path and they think that drinking and smoking is what cool kids do. Virgins/good girls are hard to find, yes, but they're out there. You just gotta look hard...and hope that they're available because their standards will also be high. :/

 

[The Austin]

Thats alot of rules you just decided on when it comes to picking a partner. The way the world works, you will meet a virgin and have a happy life together, Then when you turn 40 and your rocking your third kid on your knee, your going to look back on all the fun you missed out on. This is a gift from above, have safe sex and enjoy yourself.

That's a load of crap. I've never heard of anyone ever who regretted not being more promiscuous when they were younger, not counting mid-life crises...but that's more a case of fearing that you've made all the wrong decisions in life.

REALLY, though, people look back on their wild younger years mostly in regret.

Think regret is the only interesting thing about you people. Think I give a crap about your happy stories, boring. Thats what makes us fun and unique, without your sins your just another boring sap around the water cooler.

.... That's the most rediculus thing I have heard all day. 'Gratz.

OP: Sex makes babies. Without sex, there would be no people. Sex is a natural part of life; it isn't a big deal.

Stop looking for a girl who still has her V-card; start looking for a girl who doesn't throw it around.

 

[RobotZombieNinja]

They are getting harder and harder to find.
And, considering I sacrifice one every month, I'm an expert on such matters.