Is it that hard to find a virgin?

[Jimmybobjr]

You arent the only one. I refuse to even relate to someone who does illegal drugs, drinks underage, and has what i call "Entertainment" sex. There are other words for it, but thats what i call it.

OP, i salute you. There are few people like us in the world, and it makes me feel better that we still do exist.

Oh, and to clarify, im 17, Live in Perth, Western Australia, and am a Straight male. Just FYI.

I'm on the same boat as you.

I live in Western Australia and I am a straight, 16 year old boy who just graduated from High School, and I have not drank alcohol, smoked, done drugs or had any casual sex.

Is it me or is it really hard to find a virgin here in Perth. D:

Also I really think it is better to wait until you're married until you have sex, why, well I don't want to have casual sex, I want to make sure that I can fall in love with someone and then get married and then do it, because if we don't get married, I'm sure there will be quite some chance that they will cheat on you or break up with you. Also it is good to do it with a virgin since you can trust them more and be on the same playing field, if you know what I mean.

Frankly I don't mind waiting for that special someone.

EDIT: Also I don't want to date a drinker, a smoker, a druggie, since, well they will come to bite you on the ass one way or another.

And call me whatever you want but, deal with it!

This. And you would know, drinking and drugs is getting out of here right now, and its only getting more and more hopeless, really.

You arent the only one. I refuse to even relate to someone who does illegal drugs, drinks underage, and has what i call "Entertainment" sex. There are other words for it, but thats what i call it.

I call it "elaborate masturbation".

Bahahahaha, i HAVE to remember that one.

 

[BNguyen]

I'm pretty much the same as the OP, I want a girl who's never been with a guy and who's clean of drugs and alcohol, sure I might have high standards that a high % of girls might not fulfill, but I have lived my life free of these things and I want a girl who's chosen to live the same way - someone who doesn't need those things to have a happy life
all from a college student who's never partied, drank, or even gone out (waiting for the right girl)

 

[Torrasque]

.

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It's fine to say you dont value sex, or otherwise dont want sex as much as that person over there. Where most people get hung up, including yourself, is when you start making moral/character based judgments on people that do have sex. Especially when you have no arbitrary religeous reason to.

What about people that think playing video games damages your character? You can defend yourself all you want. They just think you are "in denial" or refusing to admit other people's problems are caused by video games.

Who am I to judge you for wanting to play video games. For indulging that desire? Chances are you are going to bring up the risk of sex. Just because you dont know how to effectively mitigate that risk, doesnt make it a death sentence for the rest of us.

What?
lol, I am not saying that people who have sex are horrible people with all kinds of diseases and spend most of their time eating babies and imagining killing new born kittens.
Thats what I meant when I said "I was giving people who had sex a negative value" (paraphrased) because in my mind they were less attractive somehow. This only applies to people I was attracted to, so friends/strangers/family are exempt of course.
What I came to realize is that it wasn't sex I had a problem with, it was the fact that people were treating sex like I treat a cookie; something that is nice to have, but not necessary.

Make sense?
I am not calling people who have had sex, bad people xD

 

[Kevimaster]

I'm 18, never had sex, never done any form of drugs, I've drank but never been drunk really (I have Wine at my grandparent's house, and occasionally a beer at home and it never really gets me any more than buzzed, but I limit how much I have pretty hard)

 

[Torrasque]

.

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It's fine to say you dont value sex, or otherwise dont want sex as much as that person over there. Where most people get hung up, including yourself, is when you start making moral/character based judgments on people that do have sex. Especially when you have no arbitrary religeous reason to.

What about people that think playing video games damages your character? You can defend yourself all you want. They just think you are "in denial" or refusing to admit other people's problems are caused by video games.

Who am I to judge you for wanting to play video games. For indulging that desire? Chances are you are going to bring up the risk of sex. Just because you dont know how to effectively mitigate that risk, doesnt make it a death sentence for the rest of us.

What?
lol, I am not saying that people who have sex are horrible people with all kinds of diseases and spend most of their time eating babies and imagining killing new born kittens.
Thats what I meant when I said "I was giving people who had sex a negative value" (paraphrased) because in my mind they were less attractive somehow. This only applies to people I was attracted to, so friends/strangers/family are exempt of course.
What I came to realize is that it wasn't sex I had a problem with, it was the fact that people were treating sex like I treat a cookie; something that is nice to have, but not necessary.

Make sense?
I am not calling people who have had sex, bad people xD

So you arent that judgemental of all people, just that judgemental when it really matters to you... That's at least slightly better.

Sex IS a cookie. LOVE is what is special.

You can love someone and not have sex with them. You can have sex with someone and not love them. Why the 2 have to be mutually exclusive or inclusive is beyond me. I enjoy getting off with my hand, why is it so wrong then to enjoy getting off with someone else but not making a lifelong commitment of LOVE to them? I certainly didnt do that for myself when I 1st jerked off. Look you dont even have to feel that way about sex, but it still is unfair to judge someone because of it, even if it's only people you are considering dating. Do you judge those people for liking steaks? rollercoasters? Ice cream? Why is sex so special yet people are DAMNED in your eyes for wanting it? Damned at least to not dating you...

Because in my mind, sex is a big deal.
Like I said, its not that people who have random casual sex are horrible people who deserve firey death, I just don't like how they treat sex.
Kind of like how people casually enter marriages and then divorce after a few months or years; I really don't like it. But thats a different topic.
You are welcome to do whatever you like, and if you're going to engage in casual sex, then by all means have at it. I won't put you on my list of people to firebomb, or my list of people who need to have their left shoe taken. Its just something I don't really like.
If it helps clarify, the only reason that I limit this "judgement" to people I like, is because it is a behaviour I wouldn't want them to have with me. Kind of like if you see someone being a jerk in a game, you don't want them on your team.

 

[TorqueConverter]

I'm not sure what the OP is getting at but sex at early teen years has been around since the dawn of time. It is normal human behavior and to think otherwise is to fool yourself. This whole virgin thing is overrated. Ever taken a women virginity? Not something I want to go through again. Give me the prize without all the cellophane wrapping and security stickers please.

 

[Connor Lonske]

Speaking as a legal virgin(not to my hand I can say) and a man who has never drank or done any drug with a recreational reason(I drink one glass of Champagne every New Years to celebrate, but I could never get drunk from one glass) that I think looking for such a person is pointless in some cases.

That is because for one, virgins are usually fat neck beards who browse /v/, and in some areas of the world virgins are less common then in other places, like, a lot less common. Your better off just looking someone you get along with then someone who has a silly and likely unfeasible trait.

 

[Frozengale]

22, Never had a drink of alcohol, never smoked a cigarette, never done any drug (that wasn't medicinal of course) and never had sex. Sex bit might be because I've never had a girlfriend, but what can I say all the girls that show interest in me I find weird and off putting and all the girls I show interest in find me weird and off putting (or at least just stick me in the friend zone. Forever a friend).

 

[Death God]

So I have this thing about dating where I won't date anyone who has had sex with another man or who smokes and/or does drugs. Call me old school or call me weird, but it is just part of my moral system.

Would you be happy to date someone after you had lost your virginity? i'm sure you would, the fact that you're unwilling to date someone that isn't is both hypocritical and ridiculous, we live in a liberated world but your double standards are crazy, no wonder you're having trouble if you won't grow up.

I will only have sex after marriage and should my wife die or we get a divorce, no. I would not be dating others. I loved (in this case, will love) my wife enough to give her my virginity when the time comes and I don't see it as right to find another person and not give them that same amount of love back.

 

[Abengoshis]

And it hit me, every person in my class, which ranged from 9th grade to 12th grade, that everyone had drank beer illegally, smoked pot and chewed, or has had sex multiple times... except me.

I can pretty much guarantee that's a lie. So many people claim to have done stuff like that just so they can be seen to be "cool" in the eyes of their peers.

Who cares if you haven't had sex or drink beer illegally or whatever. Don't give in to peer pressure. Cherish the fact you're not a complete moron who does bad things just to be popular, and that you're actually saving yourself for someone who isn't a slut.

Then again maybe the sex with ONE other man is a bit over the top. With ONE I can understand - maybe something went severely wrong in one of their relationships; maybe their partner even died; you never know.

 

[thirion1850]

Well, I used to drink. Sorta. Does wine really count? Blah.

 

[DracoSuave]

However, here's a question for you. What would you think if someone's a believer of 'use once, then discard' not just for women, but also for men? That would be fair, being neither misogynistic nor misandristic. I understand it's totally different than your own beliefs, but would you rally against that belief, or would you respect it, despite disagreeing with it?

That's a great question, actually. Hmmmm...

In terms of potential hypocracy I don't have a problem with that on a fundamental level. It's morally consistant, I'll give it that. So long as such a belief is constrained to oneself, and not towards others outside oneself, I can dig it. I can respect it.

A problem I find with it is that it's still self-hating. It's opposing the very nature of who and what humans are as a species. However, they have that choice, it IS their own bodies after all. It would be just as disrespectful for me to tell them they have to go out and fuck people as it would be for them to disparage me for my own lifestyle choices.

This is why I don't have a problem with virgins per se. They're innocent, but so long as they're not judgemental about it, live and let live. It's their body, they should decide, after all! It's the ones that are assholes about it that irk me, because there's a maliciousness to it, a pathological maliciousness that I simply refuse to accept.

It's similar to my stance on religion. You have the right to believe, but you don't have a right to be an asshole about it. There are many good christians who I love dearly because they're good people, and the world needs more good people. And... there's the westboro church...

 

[Griff]

Quite frankly, the idea that someone wouldn't date a non virgin is ridiculous, Some people have had sex before, some people like to go drinking with friends and maybe occasionally experimented with illegal drugs. It doesn't make them bad, or irresponsible, unfaithful.

 

[sumanoskae]

I could not be more perplexed when it comes to the appeal of virginity, but to each his own.

I'm a virgin of 16, and I know a few(Most of them are just as irresponsible as anyone else, if not more), if it's that important to you.

It's your life, but I think you might find more mature, responsible people who aren't virgins. Wouldn't it make sense that people who have had sexual relationships in the past would be more prepared for the responsibility they require?, more aware of their limits?(Unless of course you just don't plan to have sex).

People without experience have a lust and curiosity for life, thus they're more concerned with discovery and less with safety.

More worldly people have less wanderlust, because they've been around and seen more(Or less) of what they want to see. They also have less delusion, so they're not only more prepared, but not as easily disappointed.

As a side note, while I lack personal experience, from what I've heard, sex between two virgins isn't always pleasant.

 

[Cheesus333]

I'm a virgin. I've never drunk more than a single, small bottle of WKD [footnote]It was opened and presented to me before I even knew I was being offered it. I drank it out of a sense of polite obligation, and didn't enjoy it. I don't intend to have more[/footnote] or smoked so much as a single drag.

My girlfriend's also a virgin. She does drink, though not more heavily than a glass of cider in the evening or some vodka when she goes out, and she used to smoke in her more reckless times but doesn't anymore.

Secretly, I'm also distraught over being unable to find anyone with my unintentionally-puritanical approach to these sorts of things, but I keep it to myself because insecure smokers and drinkers always assume I'm slandering their way of life and immediately get on the harsh and merciless offensive with my own. I was ostracised from my old group of friends because they got into it all and I didn't follow them. It's a lonely situation, but worse than it would be forcing myself to try and enjoy something that I just can't.

And that's pretty much all I have to say on that.

 

[Russian_Assassin]

Look, the world has 7.000.000.000 of us (give or take). I am sure that there is a person like the one you described somewhere, it's just that it is hard to find her. It is improbable, but not impossible.

PS: I know you didn't ask for advice, but I have to say this nonetheless (my moral code). You are looking for a female version of yourself, no? Let me tell you, if you do find her and you get together, you are going to get really bored of each other pretty soon. Best relationships are between completely different people. Of course if you did answer "no" to the question I made 54 words ago then disregard this post script.

 

[Little Duck]

1 in 20 people at the age of 21 are virgins.
1 in 25 are virgins at 25.

Essentially, if you were to meet 100 potential girls very few would be a virgin.

 

[michiehoward]

Wait wait (even though this has probably been said by 100 people) is everyone else saying tthat you cannot find a faithful and responsible girl that has already lost her virginity?

I find this assumption or train of thought very horrible.

Look, the world has 7.000.000.000 of us (give or take). I am sure that there is a person like the one you described somewhere, it's just that it is hard to find her. It is improbable, but not impossible.

PS: I know you didn't ask for advice, but I have to say this nonetheless (my moral code). You are looking for a female version of yourself, no? Let me tell you, if you do find her and you get together, you are going to get really bored of each other pretty soon. Best relationships are between completely different people. Of course if you did answer "no" to the question I made 54 words ago then disregard this post script.

I'm sorry but I must strenuously disagree with this comment. Insofar as yes, opposites may attract initially. But speaking from the standpoint of 11 years of marriage, if you want a fulfilling relationship there must be some common ground, traits, beliefs, likes and dislikes, for a couple to fall back on, complete discord happy relationship does not make.