Is roleplay sex okay?

[Valdus]

I still don't buy it. You could just as easily put "rping" under a game. The only difference between a flash game and this is that it's now multiplayer over the internet. You don't know this person unless this person chooses to tell you this information, and even then it could be a lie. You don't know. Hell, the boyfriend could be a lie.

Only knowing lies about another person doesn't change that you're interacting with them. It's the interaction that makes it cheating for me. As I said - you wouldn't go into great detail RPing your character going to the toilet or even various other mundane everyday tasks.

 

[hudsonzero]

[Though this topic was something else if a mod could please get rid of this]

 

[RotVos]

if anything, you should always be able to say: "doesn't matter had sex".

 

[binvjoh]

If that was my girlfriend I'd certainly consider it breaking my trust if she didn't tell me. Even if I was told I'd definitely not be comfortable with it.

 

[LawlessSquirrel]

Are you roleplaying through your characters, or are you interjecting yourself into the roleplay? If two characters have sex because it's what the characters would do, from a purely artistic/literary view, that's fine. But if you consider the character an extension of yourself and are playing it as such, then it might descend into a fantasy, which makes the situation more complicated.

Basically, are you using the characters as writers, or as a way to interact with each other? The type of roleplay makes a big difference, since in one way she's probably more personally invested, but in the other she's just being true to the character. If the former, I'd avoid it. If the latter, avoiding it could (hypothetically) be breaking character.

Again, I'm not sure what type of roleplay this is, but if it's the kind I'm used to then in-character and out-of-character should be separate anyway. But if it makes you uncomfortable anyway, time-skip is your friend.

 

[teisjm]

It's texting, so even if it wasn't your characters, but you who did it, you wouldn't be having sex, you'd be text chatting about sex, which is very different.
I wouldn't have minded if my girlfriend did it, especially not with some dude she hadn't even met, but just talked to online.

if you want to do it, but is afraid it'll cause her problems, ask her aout what her boyfriend would feel about it, who knows, he might be okay with it.
After all, it's not like he doesn't watch strange naked women online anyways (i know, i'm assuming, but i'd be supprised if he didn't watch porn)

Ofc, if you plan to meet her in person later on, her boyfriend might not be thrilled about.

 

[GoddyofAus]

My opinion would be travel however many miles away she is and bone her IRL. Fuck the roleplay.

 

[BeerTent]

I still don't buy it. You could just as easily put "rping" under a game. The only difference between a flash game and this is that it's now multiplayer over the internet. You don't know this person unless this person chooses to tell you this information, and even then it could be a lie. You don't know. Hell, the boyfriend could be a lie.

Only knowing lies about another person doesn't change that you're interacting with them. It's the interaction that makes it cheating for me. As I said - you wouldn't go into great detail RPing your character going to the toilet or even various other mundane everyday tasks.

If it was something he/she'd do around someone else and part of the story, or was part of something else. Yeah, I would, actually. Okay, explaining 7 or 8 lines about using the bathroom isn't something I'd do, sure I'll give you that. But other mundane tasks we do every day, cooking, cleaning, even how he/she types on a keyboard or walks.

And even then, where do you draw the line? They don't know each other, they don't see each other... What would you think if you over heard your girlfriend talking about sex to someone else, even another guy, or one of her "girl"friends? Perhaps explaining things in detail?

It's alien to me that you would restrict someone you'd invest that much trust into. And for what? Because you don't trust her to hop on a plane to go fuck someone in NS because her character, Isabella had a fun time in the sack with another fictional character? If that's the case, why be with her anyway?

 

[Micalas]

I role play quite a bit. After a good romp I roll a luck check with a 12-sided die and God help her if I critically fail!

Tell her to leave her boyfriend and then fly her out to your house so you can re-enact your fantasies.

CAPTCHA: quum rapmee. Hmmm...

 

[fingerbang143]

It would be cheating.....but who cares

 

[SilentCom]

This is a little awkward... Image what her boyfriend will think when you ask "can I have fantasy roleplaying sex with your girlfriend online?" XD

 

[larysalove]

If you're uncomfortable and worried about it enough to ask, there's probably something to it.

If you need it for story progression (having done something like this myself, and my character needed to get pregnant), you could always fade to black. That's worked for me.

 

[Kegsen]

It may be the closest thing I've ever had to sex, but it's not worth hurting someone else.

Kinda answered your own question there. IF the dude gets hurt over it, it`s not worth it.
The underlining question you`re asking is: Should I start treating games and reality differently? To which the answer is a definitive "yes".

 

[Leadfinger]

Okay, so here's the story.

I have a female friend whom I chat with online. We've known each other for quite sometime, we've talked on the phone, we've seen what the other one looks like, but we have never met in person. She has a boyfriend, I am single. We like to do roleplay in a private online chat room where we make our own characters and they interact with each other and stuff. It's a lot of fun to me and we've done that for a while, but assuming you read the title I think you'll know where this is going. So it's gotten to the point where one of my characters is veeeeery close to having sex with her character (They are a couple). The argument is that since we're just roleplaying and its our 'characters' having sex not us, then she's technically not cheating on her boyfriend and it's ok. But I still have a niggling little doubt in the back of my head saying that this is wrong.

So can roleplay sex be labeled under real sex or not?

I don't know, but I think actual sex would be more satisfying.

 

[Regiment]

I, for one, would consider it cheating. Can't really put into words why I just feel that way

I would strongly consider it cheating, as a relationship is not based solely on sex, but also emotions.

This whole situation seems... wrong to me. I would tread carefully.

 

[00slash00]

Okay, so here's the story.

I have a female friend whom I chat with online. We've known each other for quite sometime, we've talked on the phone, we've seen what the other one looks like, but we have never met in person. She has a boyfriend, I am single. We like to do roleplay in a private online chat room where we make our own characters and they interact with each other and stuff. It's a lot of fun to me and we've done that for a while, but assuming you read the title I think you'll know where this is going. So it's gotten to the point where one of my characters is veeeeery close to having sex with her character (They are a couple). The argument is that since we're just roleplaying and its our 'characters' having sex not us, then she's technically not cheating on her boyfriend and it's ok. But I still have a niggling little doubt in the back of my head saying that this is wrong.

So can roleplay sex be labeled under real sex or not?

its definitely not physical cheating but theres such a thing as mental cheating and emotional cheating. personally, if my girlfriend were roleplaying sex with someone online, whether or not they had ever met or even lived in the same country, i would be really hurt. not everyone is like me though so, as other have suggested, find a way to talk to her boyfriend and check with him

 

[artanis_neravar]

So, hypothetically, if we were dating, you would consider me watching porn or reading erotic stories cheating?

Not to bring out a tired phrase but, I HAVE NEEEEEDS! If this dude is really gonna get his pantys in a twist about DARING to jack off to something other then him, then I say she needs to drop his ass one way or the other.

Watching porn or reading erotic stories is by yourself, there is no interaction with anyone else, so it is completely different.

Just parroting what some other people said, if this is something her boyfriend is in the dark about it isn't necessarily a good thing.
I had it happen to me, my girlfriend was into a bunch of RP chat rooms (back when MSN ran a bunch of random user created chatrooms) and I wasn't super into it, but I'd show interest and listen to her talk about this or that person etc. It was her thing like videogames were mine.
But I decided to give it a try so we could spend more time together and I could get to know her online friends like she knew my real life ones.
I get into the chat and I'm like hey guys I'm 'Y' 's boyfriend, what's up. Instantly kicked. I was like uhh wtf? Went back into the chat kicked again, get an angry message from the guy who kicked me and he was like "f*cked up joke, I'm her boyfriend, don't come back loser".
When I saw her in class I was like uhh hey what's up and I explained the situation and demanded an explanation. And she was all like oh it is just an RP thing it isn't serious, the guy was just acting out his character.
Personally I didn't believe it, went back into the chat a few days later when she wasn't on. Private messaged and told her I was her boyfriend in real life and asked him if it was just an RP thing or if he thought it was real. He thought it was real. Confronted the g/f she said she would break it off. Like 3 months later, she went to a wedding came back said she met the guy, got drunk, and had sex with him and said she was sorry but it felt right.
I was absolutely floored since in the almost 2 years we went out we never did more than kiss. Needless to say I did not speak a word to her the next 2 years in school and never saw her face again after we graduated.

That sucks dude, I would have had a lot to say in your place, none of it pleasant.

Everything I read just says "She isn't allowed to make her own decision"

Morality has nothing to do with it. Firstly, the guy is reading too much in to the whole thing, and secondly it's the girl's decision to make. Not her boyfriend's. He doesn't own her, he doesn't control her, his opinion on the matter is utterly irrelevant. She can tell him or she can not. It's just fucking roleplay.
It's not like she's going around banging homeless men without protection.

Yes She's allowed to make her own decisions, but if the boyfriend considers it cheating then it is cheating, and unless she want's to lose her boyfriend she needs to discuss it with him, because in a relationship that's what mature people do, they discuss decisions that affect the both of them

 

[artanis_neravar]

if rp sex counted every single nerdy 15 year old male would lose there virginity instantly.

We're not talking about Role Play Game sex... we're talking about you and your lover assuming roles and "get'in busy"!

Technically they aren't lovers, they are friends and the girl has a boyfriend and they are doing it over the internet

 

[Saelune]

Simple. Dont roleplay the sex. Cut to black, let the mist cover the window as the hand streaks across.