ShadowStar42 said:
I fear you missed my point. I know now that many people find golliwog to be offensive. I got into trouble for talking about golliwogs, those mischievous being from a TV series of my child hood. I should stress that at the time of this trouble I had no IDEA that golliwog could be taken offensively. To me it was just a thing in a TV series from when I was 4. Now someone took massive offence to this. To the point of it almost starting a fight. But I couldn't have possibly known. I had to ask my mum at age 17 why there were so angry because I didn't understand, at which point I was enlightened.
Now, I dont am I more racist for saying something that to me had no overt connotations of ANYTHING outside of a childs TV show, or now for deliberately avoiding the topic in case I offend someone.
Some perspective is in order. Its difficult for us to rationalise using a racist term in anything but an offensives way. This is what you took me to mean. I said that I should be able to say something racist and saw that as I was tempted to say something racist. This was not my point. My point was I could say anything, even something racist, because I couldnt even understand how someone could fine it offensive, over more, no one ELSE could find it offensive.
I hope this help illuminate my viewpoint somewhat more effectively. While I am not naive enough to believe we should start this now, are we really helping when we tell kids that you should take offence at this or you should never call someone of this race this (because that is essentially what this boils down too) if I call someone a cripple with no over connotations, its just a word, after all I dont see someone who needs a wheel chair as a cripple, that not how I think, they are disabled because that how I was brought up, then cripple has no over connotations to me about someone else inability to do something. Its just a word.
Europe is still a continent divided true, but far more unified than ever, its been what nearly 70 years since we had a war.
We poke fun at each other but there is a distinct difference between having a laugh at the French or Germans and hating them. We are united by a common history. It gives us someone to beat in Sport. In the same way people from NY hate on Red Necks. You wouldn't go to war with them. You poke fun and celebrate when your team beats them in the Super Bowl.
Because Samuel Jackson isnt one of the most well know, "I want to be him" people in the world. I will admit that certainly when your wife was growing up this was likely a problem, but every year it is less and less a problem. Hell you have a Black President, an amazingly popular one in Europe it has to be said, there might still be some ignorant pricks around but the change has happened...PAST TENSE. We cant go back, its too late. Every year the balance of racial background enter more and more into proportion.
But, having said that, I still disagree with your statement from the very outset, "people that look like her", is intrinsically a discriminatory view, because you are putting a value on race. It is more important that they are my race, not they are successful, that isn't enough, they have to be my race. Im not saying its your wifes fault, in the same way my mum cant help being something of a neo feminist, she grew up when being a woman in construction just wasnt done, Ive seen rejection letters that read "unfortunately we cannot accept you as a building site is no place for a woman" and Ive heard the stories of having to make special arrangements because the female QS is coming on site.
Thats FINE she had to fight for her position, just as your wife likely did or indeed yourself. But my sister doesn't, my friend Joules doesn't. As a result to put these ideas and beliefs into them is wrong, its infusing them with a belief of something they no longer needs. Its important we remember these struggles, but we cannot let them define us forever. Otherwise we will continue to penalise a generation that largely does not see skin colour as anything but a genetic quirk.
